1 A Little About Ray

I guess this is where my life flashes before my eyes. To say my childhood was normal, would be an utter lie. I grew up in small town Kansas, so small town you probably never heard of it. My mom worked full time as a nurse, mostly hospice. Yes, she took me with her to these old dying peoples' houses. I am terrified of old people now. They always reminded me of death. I guess that is strange since I died at 26 and my dad died at 55.

My dad was always sick. He was sick as a young man, he was sick as long as I lived. He took care of me when he could though. Which meant if I wasn't with mom at one of the death houses, I was with dad in the hospital. I loved hospitals. Don't ask me why. I loved how clean everything smelled, how there were ways to wash your hands at every corner, and I loved tape.

I'm creative. I like to make things with whatever I can find. Always have. I don't really care for dirt either. I have something called Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Washing my hands helps. Counting also helps.

My dad's health took us from hospital to hospital and town to town. Mom of course could find work anywhere. People were always dying. I graduated high school and went to College for a year, my parents couldn't afford it so I dropped out. I did pretty well for that year though and learned enough to make me a better person. I also learned that the career of Doctor was not for me, at all. I don't like people getting sick or germs. Don't know why I ever thought that was a good idea.

Anyway, when I turned 22, I got sick. More than just my brain, my body started failing me too. My dad comforted me and apologized for passing his poor health on. I never blamed him though. I mean how could I he was my dad. My rock. I loved my dad more than anything, so when he died shortly after my 25th birthday.... I wanted to die myself. My mother had a stroke when I was 23 and became unable to work. My half-brother took her to care for her. He was better prepared to care for her. With mine and my dad's failing health that is.

I was completely alone the year after my dad passed. I didn't really have friends. My ex was out of the picture for quite some time and the guy I thought I would date ended up with another girl. It was for the best... I kinda gave up and let everything fall away after dad died.

So, when a year after his death my illness took me too. I wasn't surprised. I kinda fell asleep and didn't wake up.

*****

But then she did wake up. It was like waking from a dream. She sat up to the most wonderful smell, pancakes! She threw the blankets back and felt her body. It didn't hurt, she felt clean and comfortable. Is she in Heaven? No pain and wonderful food smells? Her whole life I had always had some pain, the arthritis had set in shortly after she turned 12 but no one caught it until my other issues came up.

She then ran her hands over her body again.... Her ribs were nice and flat, same with her belly. Her chest was gone. She felt her face and head. Her face was small and round and her hair hung down her back. When she died, she was 200lbs and almost 6 foot tall. She had a large chest, wide hips, and a swollen stomach from her organs expanding. She also shaved her head, she wore a buzz cut about an eighth of an inch thick. In Heaven she could understand getting the body she had as a healthy young lady. However, the body she was in felt like hers when she was a little girl.

She stood and walked to a mirror. She hadn't walked in a month, the cancer and the cysts were in all of her organs and her Arthritis rampaged her joints. Walking became difficult right after her dad died. So when she strided over to the mirror, she almost stumbled but her body knew how to walk. The girl looking at her looked nothing like she did. She had big round, green eyes, long black hair, a small nose, and round lips. Her body looked like a little girls. Ray had blonde hair and brown eyes in her life. Also had a very large nose that hung slightly crooked.

"I'm dreaming," she said aloud. The voice that came out also sounded strange, almost melodic. "I must be." Her voice was raspy and deep before.

She looked back at the mirror then the most amazing thing struck her, literally. Since when did she have a tail? She fainted.