1 Chapter 1: Confession

They say that life is so unfair, that life is cruel, but for me, I am happy that I was born in this world.

"'He's too close! I can feel his breath in my neck, his heartbeat, and his warm body. He is just too close'"

"Hey! What are reading there again?"

"It's nothing, you don't need to know."

"You're just reading your BL books, you're disgusting."

"Then you shouldn't ask if you know the answer!"

"Hmmph…"

Hi! I am Karlo Duran, 19 years old and I live with my family. My father is a businessman and my mother is a doctor. I have a little brother which is Elisor, the one I am fighting earlier.

We are not that wealthy like the others but let's say that I can buy things that I want. My father's work is to talk to many people that make him have many friends that are the same as my mother. She talks to many patients and consults them on what they need to do. My brother is popular among girls in their school because he is handsome and kind but we don't get along with so many things. And as for me, I am the opposite of them. I don't like socializing with many people, I always avoiding too many crowds. I am not popular because of my looks. I have long hair that covers my eyes, I am a little short compared to the boys at my age and I am different from them.

How could I say I am different? Let see… I like BL Books… I like guys with handsome and cute face… I like guys who had a broad and masculine body. In short, I am gay.

Before I have some friends but after I confess my love to my boy classmate they started to avoid me.

*Flashback*

It was in grade school. I am playing with my friends outside our house. There is a family that is new in our neighborhood and they have two children. The elder one is a high school student while the other one was my age.

He transferred to the same class that I have that time and he makes friends so easily. He smiles like he has no problems, he talks like he never talked to anyone, he laughs like there's no tomorrow. He is cute at some point.

I become his friend and started to be closed to him. He always helps me in so many ways and he always smiles at me. I was mesmerized by his smiles. So I ended up liking him. At first, I know that it is just puppy love but why it lasted for a year or two. And before we could ever reach grade 5 I confess how I feel and he just looks at me and says nothing. Many of my friends heard what I said and they started to tease me until it reached the point that the whole school is starting to bully me.

I get bullied so many times and there are times that they are toying with me, they are harassing me and hurt me, so I ended up transferring to another school and started everything as new. I stopped talking too much, I stopped socializing, and I started to dislike myself but it's not my fault to be like this because I choose to be like this. But now I get used to this kind of life, having no friends and not talking to others. It is easier for me to look and buy BL books and study at school without distraction and I promised to myself that I will not fall for someone anymore, only in BL books character. Hahaha… it may sound crazy but that's how I live until now.