1 FROM BAD TO WORSE

  It keeps getting darker as I go deeper and deeper. I scream to the point were I feel that my poor little ears may bleed or my vocal chords might run for their life due to the constant abuse.

        After sometime I reach a state were I am tierd of screaming and just hope that this pit just ends somewhere. But this shitty- pit is so deep that it wouldn't be a surprise if I ended up straight into the cauldron of hell with a huge demon waiting to make a extremely tasty meal out of me.

           I try to reach out for something but the walls are so slippery and slimy that it feels as though I am touching the stomach walls of a huge and disgusting worm and after feeling  absolutely disgusted I finally dip my hands into my pant pockets. There is no way I am dying with dirty hands. When my body is found people should atleast not think I am gross.

           Then with absolutely no hope, no choice but my heart, mind and soul almost paralyzed by fear I do something that any sane person in my situation would do, I close my eyes and pray for my dear life. But I fail miserably to even remember a prayer and start blabbering some rubbish "Oh my good god! I know I wasn't a very nice child but I wasn't that bad either.  I might have told before that I wanted to die but that doesn't mean I really want to (seriously when I asked for so many good things you didn't give me any and now when I asked for a bad thing you gave it to me in a blink of a eye) .

       Don't you know in all these 19 years of my existence I have never once had sex, never did I kiss anyone, I have only fantasized about those things while watching porn, so if I die without experiencing any of that then you owe me a decent explanation ".

        Oh no! I have always heard people commenting about being dragged to hell for watching porn and Yoai. Was that really true? Am I that one unlucky person with whom thats really happening? Ha ha ha I want to see the king of hells reaction when I beg forgiveness for watching porn. It would definitely be very funny.

what am I  even thinking? What is happening to me? I am laughing and crying at the same time and now I feel like singing.

       So I sing "falling, I am falling into  this endless shitty-pit. I am going deep down sooo down that my head feels dizzy. La la laaaaa... I think I am going crazy, am I? You tell me... "

Stoppppppppp! HAZEL BROWN you were always crazy but now have you officially lost it? What the fuck are you even singing?

So finally I keep my mouth shut and think about the events that happened in these three months. How my life changed all of a sudden? Was all this destined? Did God just wake up one morning (wait does he sleep in first place?) and decide "any ways that girl is going to die so let me give her all the bad luck that this world can behold"?

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Hey guys done with the first chapter.

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