10 Charlie Cunnen

I stare at my phone, desperate to text, but my fingers are frozen. Do I really want to know who created these wounds on my body? In my mind? I continue to blankly stare at my phone until I receive another text from El.

*Buzz*

"Do you want to know?"

That's the thing. Do I? Do I want to know this information that could cause so much chaos? I presume that since El knows then it was on the news. I was bound to see that soon. But how soon? Should I wait? I can't decide. I have to know. I let my gut do the talking and text her this,

"Yes."

Simple response for a simple question... right?

"Charlie Cunnen. He was the gang leader and the organizer of this massacre. Cunnen put you and about 100 other people in the hospital."

I power off my phone without responding. If they knew who he was, he would be in prison I hope. But...what if he was roaming the streets, looking for his next victims... The thought frightened the crap out of me. I lean into the bed and cry. Cry for Bella. For Me. For the other hundred people in hospitals. The PTSD we will suffer from due to this horrible massacre.

But I hadn't heard anything from or about Bella in 3 days. I'm always waiting for it. I never want to ask. But I need her.

I press the button on my IV Nurse Cathy walks in. She was very kind to me. She always helped out in situations like these. Trauma never really goes away. At least that is what I think. She always tells me,

"It will get better."

She always comforts me. Soon I will be on my own. Away from the safe hospital. Into the real world.

"You called for me hon, what do you need?"

I look up at her and just say,

"Nothing. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to press the button."

My sentences were too choppy, she was bound to see that somthing was wrong.

But she nods and glides out of the room.

I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I really needed Bella.