1 The Actual Fuck?
Warmth and wetness. This is what I feel. Where Am I? It's oddly comforting I wonder why?
[I can inform you of that Host]
The actual fuck, I'm fucking Crazy! Only fucking explanation. Im fucking imagining things, cool just fucking sick.
[You are not imagining thing's host, I am a system]
Nope. No. I will not believe I have a system. Just no. Don't try to trick me brain. I'm not stupid enough to think I've got a system. No not even the fact that where I am seems oddly similar to the descriptions of the wombs in those novels i used to read- Wait the fuck. I'm sure I read more than Just Naruto Fan-fics. Im Fucking certain-
[Host that is because You only remember valid information]
Why the fuck, is that valid info? Cause Im sure to hell i don't believe I'm in Naruto.
[Well Host you are]
Fuck you!
[I have no physical body host]
You know what I mean Fuckhead
[Song to calm host started. *The song; Feeling Good by Micheal Buble*]
Okay tf. First you say that i only remember valid info. Then you pull that shit. Why was me remembering fucking songs valid?
[It is due to the fact that host would listen to songs in his past life to keep calm and 'chill out']
You know what? Fuck it! Sure if i have a system, why the fuck wouldn't songs be counted as valid fucking information! Y'know what system?
[What Host?]
Who the fuck is my mother currently? Because heaven's fucking know that parentage can break or 'break' somebody in Naruto.
[Your mother was a female Kunoichi of the Uzumaki Clan and is currently on the run from the destroyers of her home]
So What you're saying is that I'm an Uzumaki born after the Destruction of my home?
[Correct host the current year is 12bNb and you are an Uzumaki]
(A/N: The timeline I'm using is this: https://naruto.fandom.com/wiki/User:Seelentau/Naruto_Timeline So Im using bNb for personal ease)
Okay..... do i want to know who my father is?
[Your father was the son of the second Hokage before he was killed in the battle Of Amegakure in the second shinobi war]
HOLD THE FUCK UP! Since fucking when did Tobirama have a child? Like the Actual motherfucking fuck?
[Host this world is similar to that of which you call 'Naruto' which is why I said you were in it. However it does have some differences. This one included, for example another is that all Summons which can have a major contract and are Animals have sage mode's.]
So what your saying is that I'm a fuckmothering Senju-Uzumaki?
[Correct host you are 'a fuckmothering Senju-Uzumaki']
Okay.... Cool i guess..... Though I'm guessing I don't have Tobirama's Affinity to water as that would be stupid op, though i would like to know my Affinities.
[Host Your Affinities are Earth, Water and one of your choice]
Holy fuck.... System I'm scared to ask but..... Do i have wood release?
[Yes host you do and would you like to select your last release now or later?]
I think I'll do it now.
[Lightning Release; Will grant either Storm or explosion release. Wind release; Will either grant Ice or Magnet release. Fire release; Will either grant Lava or Boil release.]
Holy.... fuck! I get another Kekkei Genkai?!
[Yes host you do]
System I think i love you.
[Host I do not have a physical body]
*sigh* Anyways, do i get to choose the secondary Kekkei Genkai or is it random?
[You get to pick host, also note that some quests later on will grant you a token for a new release, these tokens can also be bought or be found through the lucky dip.]
Okay all of that was cool to know, but which release to get? I guess I should choose them for the kekkei genkai they grant.... Hmmmmmmm.... *more contemplative noises* So lightning would be cool, but storm release is quite situational, and explosion release whilst cool, would put an even bigger target on me from Iwa even more so than just having wood release (A/N: Personally I think having the wood release would get you targeted by Iwa just so Konoha couldn't have you for breeding but also because they're the ones who would want to stick it to Konoha by killing somebody with wood release) . Fire again would be cool, but lava would more than likely again put a target on my back by Iwa.. Was it Iwa who had Lava release? Best not find out. And whilst Boil could be cool, alot of the ideas which could make it quite op are also quite gruesome. Like boiling somebody's body? Nah no thanks. So that leaves Wind. Which can get me Magnet and Ice. Both of which are hella fucking cool. Magnet could get me in trouble with Suna, so maybe not. But Ice release? That's fucking perfect. Kiri wouldn't know I had it until Mei was in control again because they're focusing inwards, but not only that but it isn't gruesome and has the fine control needed for some of the more ninja-like mission's I might get. System give me Wind and Ice release if you would.
[Certainly Host, You now have; Water, earth and Wind release. Aswell as The Kekkei Genkai's Ice And Wood]
Okay Cool, also System are there any more benefits I get from my Parentage?
[Host get's A large chakra pool from being An Uzumaki as well as their longevity, a 100% bonus to learning fuinjutsu and their Adamantine chains. From Being descended from Tobirama, you get a 50% boost to learning space-time jutsu's as well as a 50% boost to learning new materials]
Well that isn't broken at all. System do you as a system have a like status screen for me?
[Status:
Name: N/A
Title: N/A
HP: N/A
MP: N/A
CP: N/A
Physical: N/A
Spiritual: N/A
Chakra: N/A
Natures: Water, Wind, Earth
Kekkei Genkai: Ice, Wood
Traits: Akashic Body, Akashic Mind, Uzumaki Body, Fuinjutsu Adept, Jailer Of Heaven, Space-time Novice, Novice Professor]
System what is the Akashic Body and Mind about?
[Akashic Body: After sleep in a bed it restores HP, MP, CP and all status effects]
[Akashic Mind: Immune to genjutsu and overpowering emotions]
Okay the immune to genjutsu and restoring everything after sleeping isn't op at all nope not at all... SYSTEM NEVER LEAVE ME!
[Do not worry host I will never leave you]
Hey system..... A tugging sensation
[Yes host?]
How long till birth?
[In a se-]
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
