2 That Wasn't Disturbing.

Honestly being born wasn't disturbing, nope not at all, definitely not. It definitely did not make me repress anything. Nope not in the slightest. No sir-ee. Anyways. After being born, which was not in anyway horrendous. I could barely see or hear anything the only thing I heard was "His name is Kisari Senju" which let me know my first name is Kisari and that I'm going to be treated as a Senju not an Uzumaki. All of which was fine by me. It would benefit me more if they didn't know I was gonna be able to create seals like they were going out of fashion later on in life. After thinking these incredibly philosophical thoughts i started getting violently bumped around in what I assume is one of those weird baby bags you see people use in like warring states period shows. Wait why the fuck is that valid info system?

[It is valid because the majority of Naruto is supposed to be inspired by the warring states period of Japan]

Ahhhh I guess that makes sense... Anyways back to what I'm going through. I think my mother is injured, no not because of my birth. Or maybe it was, who knows. Not me I'm an innocent weak little baby. No danger presented by me. Nope none at all. Though I do think somebody's hunting her. Would make sense, after all she's one of the survivors of Uzushiogakure, I do wonder if I'd get killed then. Oh we're slowing down. Mother I do not think that is smart for your health. Ehhh she can't hear me anyways so no point in warning her. I think she's talking to somebody.... AND ITS ABOUT ME! Mother how could you sell me out!? Is it because my birth hurt? It's because my birth hurt isn't it? You traitor!! Oh, I'm being picked up now! MOTHER DON'T LET THE BIG MEAN PEDO TAKE ME!! Oh It's just a young hiruzen. JESUS FUCK ITS A YOUNG HIRUZEN! Then again he's still old enough to be a father by my calculations.

[You mean I told you that you were born after Asuma host?]

By my calculations. Anyway's it seems like he's asking her something. She replies with more of that weird japanese hybrid though I do manage to pick out "Toshinoro Senju" Who I'm assuming is my father. Reason 1. I don't know any Senju by that name. Reason 2. Hiruzen seems surprised by that fact. Wonder why.... Maybe he knew my father? Would make sense he was taught by Tobirama. WAIT MUM WHERE ARE YOU GOING!? My mother's leaving!! Wait no! MUM I TAKE IT BACK YOU AREN'T A TRAITOR JUST DON'T LEAVE ME!!! Please don't leave me..... I start sweating manly salty water from my eyes. I am not ashamed of that fact. I do however find shame in the fact my mother had to sacrifice herself to save me. Hiruzen tries to soothe me. I think it's working. After all no more manly salt water is coming from my eyes. Though I do feel a tug in my gut. Then i see Hiruzen look up with a surprised face. I try to look around yet cannot. But what I see in his eyes is a small tree which seemingly shouldn't be there it's in the middle the well-troden road. Oh my god! I just used my wood release Unknowingly didn't I system!

[Yes, yes you did Host]

Fucking knew it. Anyway Hiruzen seemingly calls for somebody. Probably Anbu heaven knows he's a non-gay ninja Dumbledore. Wait who's dumbledore? Why do I feel as if it's a synonym for a manipulative sneaky old man. Also why are my eyes closing! I do not need sleep I can assure you of that!

[Yes you do host you have depleted your chakra pool by creating that tree]

But I didnt even mean to dooooo thaaaaaaaa-

*Some time later*

-aaat Hey what where Am I? I FUCKING FELL ASLEEP DIDN'T I!!

[Yes Host you did, and to answer your first question you are currently in Hiruzen's home where the three year old Asuma is asking his father if he has a smaller brother, to which Hiruzen is confirming]

Okay A. I was adopted by The fucking proffesor I am so fucking happy. B. How the fuck did you know all of that?

[I just do Host]

Hey system.

[Yes Host?]

Do I Have An Inventory?

[Would you like to open it host?]

I would. What I now see is a blue screen similar to that of my status screen, but this is a grid which goes 10 across and seemingly endlessly down. In the first slot there's something which looks like a present and when i focus on it a new Notifcation pops up.

[Would you like to open Startergift?]

Of course I fuckin would!!

[You get, Fuinjutsu starterkit x2, Fuinjutsu for dummies book x1, D-rank jutsu x1, Normal Gacha Ticket x1]

Okay I get the first two, but what is the d-rank jutsu and gacha token about system?

[With the D-rank Jutsu you can learn one d-rank jutsu of choice and the normal Gacha ticket can be used in the normal rarity Gacha]

Oh cool system I would like to get..... Let's see System can I get a list of d-rank Jutsu's?

[List of D-rank Jutsu's: Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique, Dynamic Entry....... Body Flicker Technique......]

The list seemingly went on forever, but one around half way down the page caught my eye. The Body Flicker Technique, something which cause Shisui somebody with the most op Genjutsu might I add. To be named after it, instead of that super op Genjutsu. I think I know what I'm getting. System, can I have Body Flicker Technique?

[Certainly. You now know how to use The Body Flicker Technique]

As soon as the message ended I felt a searing pain in my head. Perhaps not as bad as birth. I mean definitely worse than birth because birth wasn't bad in the slightest. After the pain ended I asked system, Can I now use the gacha ticket?

[Using Gacha Ticket now]