1 Starting

The university was boring, a lot of people, a lot of noise professors treating you like an idiot - damn it when is all this going to end? - is what I thought every day. I was studying a career that I did not like and why did I do it? Simple: I needed a degree to get a decent job and thus be able to pay for a cooking course that cost more than seven thousand a month, my family did not have that amount and I didn't want them to carry that weight. I looked for work everywhere and I did not find anything, of course they were looking for someone with experience I had just graduated the only job I had was as a babysitter and - that does not count as experience - what I could do I could not think of anything. And the worst thing was that I didn't have any support, my friends always told me the same thing - Study something you like, don't waste your time with a career you don't like - What I like, what I like, I can't do it without money. They say it like it's so easy to do it, sometimes it makes me want to yell at them so loud. I had to put up with that and much more when they brought up the subject as a conversation, when we got together they all talked about how well they were doing with "the dream career" for God's sake one of my friends was studying art "ART" artists are more likely to die being destitute and lonely, -according to Google-, I tried to get away from them and didn't meet very often. I was killing myself studying to try to turn five years of a career into three, which was working well, I attended five of the seven days a week from eight in the morning to ten at night, my head was going to explode at any moment. I wanted to fall down a well and not get out of there, everything would be easier in that well there would be no people to judge you, there would be no university, there would be no anything, just the beautiful sound of silence. But not. I had my reality that was very different. He had no time for friends or relationships, nor did he want any distractions, he wanted to finish this as quickly as possible. Sometimes this was too much and I got over it, of course I hid it behind a fake smile that everyone believed, I came home, went into the shower and unburdened myself, my tears fell mixing with the water I stayed an hour sitting there thinking about everything and trying to get it out of my head for just a few moments try to get it out of my head for just a few moments. - You do not know anything, you are studying everything very quickly when you finish you will be useless with a degree - was what one of my "friends" told me, sometimes I thought she told me those things out of jealousy I had only been a year old and I was already studying third-year subjects and she just finished the first year, she didn't say anything to her, we had the same group of friends (5) and she didn't want to put the others in an uncomfortable situation, it had already happened with two friends from the same group they had fought over something so stupid - an enamel - from there everything became complicated I tried not to get involved but the others thought whose fault it was. I went home and my family complained about why I couldn't celebrate my birthday with them - I have classes - I wasn't going to miss it for a stupid birthday. When I pass ? , I used to be excited when for my birthday I looked forward to that day I really enjoyed it, well the answer is simple, I am no longer 15 years old I am 20 and my mother continues to support me -the world of adults is complicated -. In high school I waited with excitement for the bell to ring to leave I wanted to go home, now it is not like that the less time I spent in there the better I could no longer bear the fights of my brothers and my mother yelling to calm down, I was just there sitting with my cup of tea yeah Say nothing. I had everything planned for this year, I was sure that I would only have Sunday as the only day off, the rest would be at the university with the same schedules and more subjects. Mandatory social isolation (quarantine) begins. The president was announcing on the national chain - he had just started the first week of classes - if a glass cup had been holding at that moment it would fall to the ground.

The president was announcing on the national chain - he had just started the first week of classes - if a glass cup had been holding at that moment it would fall to the ground. I was sitting on the sofa in the living room with my mother and one of my sisters, at the table was my other sister and my little brother with their father. Of course my brothers were happy, they were in first and secondary school, I wanted to die. It is not that I hate them, it is that I get used to being alone to have space for myself I was not used to living 24/7 with my family, or someone, I was terrified my patience is not much and could not react well if they bother me a lot. FIRST MONTH I thought that by now I would be "walking on the walls", they continued virtually - the same shit - the teacher sends the power point, a text of 500 sheets in PDF and an explanation explained the subject by word, - shit and more shit - . I would get up at 4 am to study in silence until the others will wake up at 1 PM, I would finish my things and get ready to rest. -Moon! - until my mom's scream interrupts me. I ignore it may not be important if it were like that I would call again. - Moon! - shit, I got up reluctantly heading to the kitchen. - What happens ?- - What are we going to eat ?- It was serious, my mother (triz) had told me before that I spoiled my sisters. Why? : I started cooking at the same time when I was eight years old and cleaned the house while she worked, my older sister did nothing, we were only two years apart. Right now my two sisters were with her and my little brother (Lolo) playing with the phone. - I dont know - It was the only thing I did and I went back to sleep, I was really tired, I needed even though I only got 10 minutes of sleep.