12 FOR TWO YEARS

I exchange my pyjamas for a new, never worn jeans. She sits a bit closer than my other pants, but since I urgently need to take a trip to the laundromat, I have no alternative. For this I choose a simple black top without sleeves with a small lace trim on the shoulders. "Wow, that looks really good," says Steph, offering me her eyeliner again.

I remember the last time everything was smeared by my tears and I decline with thanks. 'Why do I have to agree to go back?' "Okay, little plan change: Molly picks us up instead of Nate, she just wrote me that she'll be there any moment." "I think Molly does not like me," I say with a last glimpse into the mirror.

Steph cocked her head. She's just a bit bitchy and too direct sometimes, I think she feels intimidated by you. " "Intimidated? By me? Why is that?" I have to laugh, because Steph has certainly messed things up.

"Just because you're so different from us, I think," she replies with a smile. I know that I am different, but in my imagination they are more likely the 'others'. "But do not worry about Molly, she'll probably be busy tonight." "With Hardin?" I ask, before I can stop myself. In the mirror, I see Steph's surprised look. "No, probably more with Zed. She changes the guys every week."

To say something like that about a girlfriend is pretty hard, but Steph just teases the top of her dress with a smile. "So she's not dating Hardin?" The picture of the two making out on the bed turns up in my mind's eye. Hardin never has a girlfriend, he fucks a lot of girls, but he has no relationships, basically not. " "Oh." I can not get more out. The party seems to run pretty much the same as last week. In the front yard and in the house drunken people crowd.

Why did not I just stay home and stare at the ceiling? Molly disappears as soon as we get there. I manage to get a seat on the couch where I've been sitting for at least an hour when Hardin passes by. "You look ... different," he says after a short break. His gaze wanders over my body, not even bothering to look at me unobtrusively. Silently I wait until he has finally returned to my face. "Tonight, your clothes will suit you for a change."

I roll my eyes and automatically stomp around my top, suddenly wishing for my normal, loose-fitting clothes. "Did not expect to see you here." "I'm a bit surprised myself to have landed here again." With these words I get up and go away. For some reason, I wish he would follow me, but he does not. A few hours later, Steph is pretty dense again. Like everyone else. "Come on, we play truth or duty," Zed laughs as the group stands around the couch again.

Molly hands Nate a bottle of transparent liquid, and he takes a long sip. Another punk girl joins the group, which now consists of Hardin, Zed, Nate, Nate's roommate Tristan, Molly, Steph and the new. I still think to myself that truth or duty drunk can not end well, as Molly says with a malicious smile: "Tess, play with it too." "No rather not." I fix a brown spot on the carpet. "To be able to play, she would not have to be prudish for five minutes," says Hardin, whereupon everyone laughs except for Steph.

His words make me angry. Yes, I admit, I am anything but wild, but I am not a nun. I annoy Hardin and let me down cross-legged between Nate and the other girl. Hardin laughs and whispers something to Zed. During the first round, Zed has to drink an entire beer can at ex, Molly is supposed to go naked for a second to her naked breasts - which she does - and Steph is committed to the truth that her nipples are pierced.

"Truth or duty, Theresa?" Hardin asks suddenly. I swallow hard. "Truth?" I squeak. He laughs and then mumbles: "It was clear." What I diligently ignore. Nate rubs her hands while doing so. Are you ... still a virgin? "Asks Zed. The air is gone. But nobody except me seems to bother with this intimate question. I feel like I'm turning bright red, which seems to amuse the others very much. "And?" Hardin urges. I would like to run away and hide, but I nod.

Of course I'm still a virgin. Next to kissing and caressing, Noah and I did not leave. Of course, over the clothes. My answer does not seem to surprise anyone, but rather to make them curious. "You've been dating Noah for two years and you have not had any sex yet?" Steph wants to know. I slide uneasily back and forth. Again, I can only shake my head. "Hardin's turn," I say hastily, hoping to distract myself.