76 You Have Every Right To Express Yourself

Harry slams his bedroom door as I reach the top of the stairs. I turn the knob, half expecting it to be locked but it opens.

"Harry, are you okay?" I ask, unsure what else to say. He answers me by grabbing the lamp off the nightstand and slamming it against the wall. The glass base shatters from the impact. I jump back and a small shriek comes out against my will.

He paces over to the desk, grabs the small keyboard and rips it out of the desktop computer, tossing it behind me.

"Harry, please stop." I yell. He doesn't look at me.

"Why? Why Tessa? it's not like he can't afford to buy a new fucking computer!" He yells and knocks the monitor to the ground.

"You're right." I say and step on the keyboard, crushing it further.

"What? What are you doing?" He asks as I pick it up and drop it back to the ground. I'm not really sure what I am doing but the keyboard is already broken, and this seems like the best idea at the moment.

"I'm helping you." I tell him, confusion flashes in his angry eyes before humour takes over. I pick up the monitor and throw it against the floor. He walks over with a small smile on his lips as I pick it up again his hands stop mine and he takes the monitor our of my hands and sits it on the desk.

"You're not mad at me for yelling at my dad like that?" He asks and cups my cheeks, his thumbs gently caress my cheeks as his green eyes bored into mine.

"No, you have every right to express yourself. I would never be mad about that." He just had a fight with his dad but he is worried about me being mad at him? "Unless of course you're being mean for no reason, which in this case you weren't."

"Wow" He says. The small gap between our lips is too tempting. I lean forward and press mine against his, he immediately opens his mouth deepening the kiss. My fingers twist into his hair and he groans as I put more force into it. His anger rolls off of him like a tidal wave, I push him back a little and he turns me around so the bottom of my back hits the desk. His hands attach to my hips and he lifts me onto the desk. I am his distraction. The thoughts of me being what Harry needs makes my stomach flutter and my head tilts back as he continues to push his tongue against mine, standing between my legs as I sit on the desk.

"Closer." He moans into my mouth, his hands grip the back of my knees and he pulls me to the edge. My hands tug at his jeans and he pulls his mouth away from mine.

"What...?" He raises an eyebrow at me. He must think I am insane, coming in here helping him break things, and now trying to undress him. Maybe I am insane? I don't care at the moment. All I care about is the way the curve of Harry's collarbones are shadowed by the moonlight coming through the bay window. the way one of his hand is holding my face like I am fragile despite him trying to break everything in the room minutes ago.

I answer him wordlessly by wrapping my legs around him and pulling him closer.

"I really thought you were going to storm in here and tell me off." He smiles and presses his forehead against mine.

"You were wrong." I remind him with a smug smile.

"Very. I don't want to go back down there tonight." He says, his eyes searching mine.

"That's fine. You don't have to." He relaxes and moves his head to the crook of my neck. I am surprised by how easy this is between us. I had expected him to snap at me, maybe even try to make me leave when I came in here, but here he is leaning on me. I can tell he is really trying to navigate this relationship the best way he can, despite the fact that he is one giant mood swing.

"I love you." I tell him and feel his lip ring move against my neck as he smiles.

"I love you." he replies.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask and he shakes his head, still buried in my neck.

"Okay, do you want to watch a movie? Something funny maybe?" I suggest.

After a long pause, he looks back towards the bed. "Did you bring your laptop?" When I nod he continues. "Let's watch The Vow again." he suggests and I laugh.

"You mean the movie that you supposedly despise?"

"Yes...well despise is a little harsh, I just think it's a sappy, mediocre love story." He defends.

'The why do you want to watch it?"

"Because I want to watch you, watch it." He answers thoughtfully. I remember the way he watched me the entire time we watched it in my room. That night seems so long, I had no clue what was coming up. I would have never imagined we would come to this.

My smile is all the answer he needs as he grabs my waist. "Wrap you legs around me." He commands and carried me to the bed. Within minutes, he is snuggled up next to me studying my face as I watch the movie. Half way through I feel my eyes getting heavy.

"I'm getting sleepy." I yawn.

"They both die, you're not missing much." He says and I nudge him with my elbow.

"You have issues." I tease.

"You're adorable when you are sleepy." He tells me. He closes my laptop and pulls me up to the top of the bed with him.

"And you're uncharacteristically nice when I am sleepy." I laugh.

"No, I'm nice because I love you." He says and I swoon. "Sleep, beautiful." he whispers and gives me a small peck on my forehead. I am too tired to try for more.

...

The next morning, the light is bright, too bright. When I roll over to bury my head in Harry's shoulder, he sighs in this sleep and pulls me closer. When I wake up again, he is awake and staring at the ceiling. His eyes are hooded and his expression unreadable.

"You okay.?" I ask, nuzzling further into him.

"Yea, I'm fine." He answers. I can tell hi is lying.

"Harry, If there is something wrong..." I begin.

"There isn't, I am fine." I decide to let it go. We have gotten along all weekend, it's a record for us. I don't want to ruin it. I lift my head up and place a single kiss on his jaw and his arms wrap around me tighter.

"I have a few things to do today, so whenever you're ready can you drop off at my place?" He says. My stomach drops, I can hear the distance in his voice.

"Sure." I mumble and move out of his embrace. He tries to grab my wrist but I move too quickly. Grabbing my bag, I head to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. We have been in our own little bubble all weekend and I fear that without the protection of this walls, he won't be the same.

I am relieved when I don't run into Liam or Danielle in the hallway and even more relieved that Harry is fully dressed when I return. I want to get his over with. He has cleaned up the glass off of the floor and the lamp is in the trashcan, along with the keyboard and monitor.

I say goodbye to Ken and Karen, Harry walks out without saying a word to either of them. I assure them that Harry will still be at the wedding, despite the fight last night. I tell them about the computer and lamp but they don't seem to mind much.

"Are you mad or something?" Harry asks after ten minutes of silence.

"No." It's not that I am mad, I am just...nervous I suppose. I can feel the shift between us and I wasn't expecting anything to change from how we were all weekend.

'It seems like it."

"Well I'm not."

"You need to tell me if you are."

"You're just being distance and now you're having me drop you off at your house and I thought everything was fine between us." I admit.

"You're upset because I have things to do today?" When he says it I realize how ridiculous and obsessive I sound. Is that why I am upset? Because he isn't hanging out with me today?

"Maybe." I laugh at my stupidity. "I just don't want you to be distant from me."

"I'm not...not on purpose at least. I am sorry if I made you feel that way." He reaches over and puts his hand on my thigh. "Nothing is going to change, Tessa."

His words calm me, but there is still a silver of uncertainty behind my smile.

"Do you want to come with me?" He finally asks.

"No, I'm okay. I have some studying to do anyway." I tell him.

"Okay, you have to remember this is new to me, I am not used to having to consider other people when I make plans." He mutters.

"I know."

"I can come to your room when I am finished, or we can go dinner or something." He suggests.

"It's fine, really. Just let me know when you are finished and we can decide then."

When we pull up to his house, he leans over and gives me a swift kiss before climbing out of the car. "I will text you." He says and walk up the steps.