1 The Start of Something New

She used to call my name with such a blissful smile. Like the only care in the world was her and I. "Aden! Come here silly; don't you dare try to run away from me." I used to love the way we play fight each other. Trying her hardest to pin me but my overbearing strength pushing her down onto the bed would soon stop her in her tracks. As a matter of fact, I still do. Me using past tense phrases is just me living in the past like some sort of limbo I have been casted into, left to stay for eternity, and rot in my own depression with a rain cloud constantly following me around to make my exterior resemble my inner feelings. A state of questioning, betrayal, and agonizing pain. I've never known how it is to be dumped by a significant other, and how much the slow and aching pain would hurt. But as of recently, I now know why people begin the steep slope of heartbreak of being remembered how it feels to be alone and without the person who could never give you the kind of love they gave. You don't really understand my pain although it is being served to you on a silver platter with my words on it. So, how can I add to the millions of similar, but not so similar, tragic, or not so tragic, heartbreak stories we as a species will feel at a certain point in time? This is how.

It started with an innocent glance. Of course, something so innocent and careless became something that wanted to be so much more. Whether it be a friendship, or otherwise… She caught my eye to say the least. she's so headstrong, intelligent, and modest. Cute, adorable, fun. All of the endless compliments I would give her inside my head because I was too afraid that I would come off as a creep. I cared. I cared about what I said around her. About how I looked. About how I spoke. About her. Such a careless glance began to form a behavior of spontaneous infatuation . Love. I couldn't care less about just caring about her. About her day, her actions, her problems. Before I didn't care about what I did around other people because it was just how I was and if you didn't like it then fuck off. But. All of that has changed now that I have met someone. I started to care about not only another person, but I myself and how people perceive me as such. It was a win-win situation that had rose from the ashes of a phoenix. I was in love again. With Kate

Soon enough, I smile to myself and thought, "I like her." Soon enough, I ask myself, "Does Kate like me too?" As she sits beside me with an undeniably gorgeous smile. Soon enough, I wipe the smile off my face and ask myself, "Am I ready?" But without a thought, I ignorantly told myself that it's my chance to start something new. Something I never thought I'd have when I was in the stages of heartbreak over my last girlfriend. I never fully accepted the fact that I would have a life without the one that broke my heart. Despite all of these complicated feeling, I still press on like a train while life is conducting me through it. Nevertheless, life has given me anew. Someone hopefully better, hopefully happier, hopefully not the past… So much hope has been blessed within I. The only way to use all this new found hope. Was to start something fantastic. As I journey on my quest to save the princess from the dragon who locked her in a castle.

My fluttering feelings grew stronger by the day. As we spend more time together, our bond grew stronger. Everyone around our circle knew that i liked her, and she liked me. It was the best possible situation for a potential couple. Her friends liked me, at least i would like to assume so, and my friends didn't mind. All odds were with us at this point, and my exhilaration for the current situation skyrocket. But as i became more eager to ask her to be my girlfriend, so did everyone else. All these unnecessary comments of, "Ask her out already." became a nuisance to me, but took a toll on me. I knew they were joking about it, but in the end. I thought to myself is this what she actually wants. It was mostly Holly, Kate's best friend, who always mentioned those types of things. Maybe they talked about Kate wanting to be asked sooner rather than later. Is this what she truly wants. This is what she wants. The constant pressure of everyone wanting us to be a couple finally got to me.

The day after there was a volleyball tournament that her and i always go to. I remember winning all my games even when my team was against her's, but that was the best time to impress. After that great day at the tournament, we were alone. Talking, laughing, spending that quality every person in love craves. It just seemed like the perfect moment to ask. So out came my words of courage.

"Kate… Will you do me the honor of being your boyfriend." I say quietly and softly as I could.

"Yes, of course!" she says with excitement and joy. "I've been waiting for you to ask me!"

With all the sincerity and happiness that came from those words made me the happiest person to be alive in that moment. I just didn't realize that it would soon become one of the most heartbreaking in my life.