10 10
+Caden's Point of View+
|1: 02 am|
Grrrr. Fuck! My head hurts like hell. It's pounding, grinding, groaning, screaming in absolute agony. Late nights are the worst for me, they bring out the worst in me, I can't believe I just fucking quote NF. Late nights are the fucking worst, some are worse than others and tonight is one of the worstest. I blink my eye rapidly, hoping the movement would bring the comfort of slumber, but it doesn't. I just stared blankly at the ceiling, hating the ceiling, hating the room, hating the night, hating the world, but most importantly, hating myself.
|1: 59 am|
"I love you Cade Manchester. To the moon and back. Till my last breath. I love you baby, I love you so much" She smile, her white teeth sparkling, her gunmetal grey eyes twinkling under the moonlight
I Intertwine our hands, loving the way we fit perfectly "I love you too babe. To the moon and back. Till my last breath" I smile at her
"We'll be together forever, right?" She whispers, her insecurities threatening to show
I pull her closer to me, basking in her fragrance and heat "As long as we are both alive, nothing and no one would come between us" I say brushing a strand of her brown hair off her face
She grins, all her teeth showing "Yes Cade, nothing and no one"
Fuc.k! I opened my eyes, gasping for breath. This night gets the award of best night ever. I can't fucking believe it, I'm having flashbacks to those gunmetal grey eyes, after all these years, I can't believe in remembering her.
|2: 39 am|
I think I should listen to music, perhaps it would bestow me with the comfort of peaceful sleep. I sit upright, taking my phone, going to my playlist that's filled with Juice world and NF songs. I click on Lucid Dreams, humming to the beat of the song.
I take prescriptions to make me feel A-Okay, I know it's all in my head, I have these lucid dr--
Oh hell no!, Definitely not the song for the moment. I close JW playlist, moving to NF's, hopefully I'll find what I'm searching for.
All these voices in my head gets loud, I wish I could shut them out, I'm sorry that I let you down, let you d--.
I've currently let everyone down, I don't need to be reminded of that, so not the best option either.
--rybody has a darkside, I feel embarrassed when they see min--.
With obvious fact that I've shown my dark side to everyone, Kai, Lizabeth, Black Barbie, Becca and Van-- Fiona Fucking Kings, I probably shouldn't listen to this particular song.
I kept scrolling through NF's song, slightly disappointed that the great NF doesn't have a song that match my mood, but I disregard the thought and crown NF king when I played it.
I just need some time I'm tryna think straight, I just need a moment in my own space, Ask me how I'm doing I say okay, but ain't that what we all say, Some times I think back to the old days, in the pointless con--.
Slowly, I sing along quietly, feeling pieces of my shattered heart beat along with the music. I didn't know when my eye fluttered close.
|3: 50 am|
"I really like you Caden" Vanilla smile at me
I smile sadly at her, feeling my chest tighten
"What's wrong?" Vanilla asks, worry eminent in her hazel orbs
I ruffle my hair as I say truthfully "You are doing something to me Vanilla, and I don't think I like it. You are ruining me just to make me, you're breaking something in me just to fix it, fix me. I'm going to give you a heads up, you're gonna get bruised"
Instead of the expected reaction, Vanilla place a firm kiss on my forehead as she whispers "I will gladly go through any pain for you, Caden"
"I don't think you know what you are signing up for, Fiona. I'm damaged, broken and bruised. You deserve better" I say staring straight into her beautiful hazel orbs, they are so beautiful, I could drown in them, maybe I will, maybe I already have
"We are all a little broken, Caden. A little bit damaged, a little bit ruined, there is something Inside us that's broken, but not beyond be repair, we just have to find the right person, who is the right fit for us, someone whose broken pieces fit our broken pieces, just like a puzzle, and we'll be made whole. You, Caden Manchester, you make me whole and I really like you, perhaps my feelings for you will be Always and Forever, the possibility of that happening scares and excites me"
Slowly, I opened my eyes, I put off the music that was still playing. I don't know if this was a dream or a nightmare. She was right to be scared, I was her undoing, the image of her lying on the floor, crying in pain is forever stamped to my memory. She was in pain, and I was responsible. I was her undoing, and now she hates me. It's all for the best, I wasn't her other half, I'm not Fiona Fucking Kings Always and Forever, and if she knows it now, she better stick it to her head----forever.
|5: 05 am|
I stare at it. My talent still blows me away all the time, despite the fact that I've lost my muse, this piece is still amazing. I decided to put my sleeplessness to use, I got my painting tools out and I started to paint. It took me a while to realize what I've drawn. I stare at the girl's red hair, she's currently wearing her signature hoodie, black. The hoodie covers almost her face, but the short red hair is still prominent and her brightly grey eyes are staring forward with her long lashes.
Even though it's just a portrait and probably shitty, I managed to capture the beauty of my darling friend,Danielle Jovanni. Her red lips is curved into one of her multi million dollars smile. She's looking forward like she's ready to face life head on, the smile on her lips and the look in her eye shows that nothing can bring her down, and definitely not an Ex Boyfriend.
I cleaned my hand with a wet rag to get rid of the paint on it. I felt my eyelids drop, I yawned, stretching my arm. I ruffled my hair, stifling a yawn. I fell down to my bed and immediately, I fell asleep, I thought this time it would be a dreamless sleep, oh how wrong I was.
|6: 45 am|
"It will get better. It will get better" She whispers, stroking my hair
I look up to her tears stricken face "Momma, I'm scared" I whisper, tighten my hand in her embrace
"Shsh Caden. You are safe w--"
"RoSeaNnA!" Da---Vincent shouts interrupting her words "Where are you! Come out now and I'll make it quick! RoSaeNnA!"
I stifle a scream, feeling tears rush out of my face "Momma! Momma! He's coming!" I say amidst tears
She buries my face in her bosom, stroking my back affectionately "It will get better Caden. It gets better" She whispers in my ear
How can she be so calm with our impending death. I was just about to say something when the wardrobe door was yanked open, I scream in fear and the sad knowledge of what's to come
"There you are. . ., Victor grab the bastard. I'll take care of the whore"
"No. NOOOO!" I scream, fully aware of what he means by 'take care'
"Get up. ." I heard Victor say, but I was too focused on Momma being take
away by Vincent
"GET UP! Idiot"
I see Vincent lifting his hand, he's going to hit her, No!
"NOO!!" I scream with everything in me "NOOO!!" then everything went dark.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the award of the most worst night ever goes to tonight, August 20th, 2020. I stare at the dark ceiling, I've actually given up on Life, these flashbacks are prove that there's no hope for me, and definitely no help coming, not that I need it though.
~.~
I ruffle my hair as I wrap up the cookies, I still can't believe I'm here, working at this shitty psychotherapy organization, all because Josette told me to. Truth be told, I have a soft spot for her, she's just like my mother, however, I hate her daughter, Lizabeth, she disgusts me, bitch with the white hair, Crazy Ass Bitch, I hate her.
Slowly, I stole a peak at the black Barbie beside me, I can feel the hatred she has for me fill the air,I can feel it radiating off her, I unconsciously touch my cheek, the cheek she hurled her shoe at, She's crazy. Immediately I got here, She was already working, I had forgotten the fact that we are to work together. She told me she isn't my friend, she hates me so much, she would rather eat sand than work with me, we should just do what we are to do and never glance at each other, and here I am staring at her, surprisingly her hair looks nice today
I couldn't help myself as I said "Nice Hair"
She stopped wrapping the cookies as she looked at me, actually glared at me, a glare that made me shiver a little. What's with Fiona having Crazy Ass Bitches as friends. Finally we wrapped the last set of cookies, sadly, my day has come to an end and it's just 12.
I signed as I connected my headphone to my phone, time to disappear into NF's wo--
"Eh? Don't you have patients to psychoanalyse" Caroline asked
I looked up from my phone as I snorted saying "Hell no, I haven't gotten my demons in check yet, I ain't ready to talk about someone else's demon"
She stared at me, long and hard before walking out of the kitchen, I can swear I heard her murmur "Asshat"
I held in the urge to call her back, to ask her where Fiona is, but I'm two hundred and one percent sure that she'll slap me if I ask her, I don't even have the right to do so, wherever she is none of my business.
