3 Angel

Our psychiatrist is called Angel and he is an absolute darling! He is a man mountain, 6 foot 2 inches tall, almost as wide, and has a heart the size of a beach ball. He always remembers our special occasions, our birthdays for example. He always brings a cake in and gives us some kind of gift. I recently had my birthday here and he brought me a unicorn cake and gave me a book called 'When rabbit howls'. It's a very interesting story and the central character suffers with DID too. It was very helpful to me, going some way to explaining how the illness affects a person and their life. Angel is, infact an Angel!

Today's session is going on forever!! We have so far listened to Gemma and Tate discuss their last few days. One of the rules of group is that nobody is interrupted and everyone listens quietly while the speaker talks, but Gemma has been talking for 40 minutes so far and we have 5 more people to listen to! I still have nothing to say so my turn will at least be over quickly.

Cooper raises his hand and Angel acknowledges him with a raised hand and a finger on his lips, suggesting Cooper be patient and wait a little longer, but Gemma is oblivious and continues to babble on.

One or two minutes pass and I hear the sound of liquid hitting the floor. Looking up from picking at my skin I see that Cooper has stood up, pulled his penis out of his trousers and is busy urinating in the centre of the circle! I don't think I am supposed to but I laugh out loud, a full on belly laugh. This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Angel suggests calmly that he leave the room and completes his peeing in an appropriate place, not a hint of anger in his voice or showing on his face. Cooper shakes his head and sits back down in his chair, folding his arms across his chest and stretching his legs out in front of him.

Angel asks him if he would like to speak, to introduce himself to us and he shrugs. Gemma has not said a word since Cooper first stood up a few minutes ago, she has had her mouth hanging open and eyes fixed on the floor since.

"I'm Cooper, I'm 21, I'm told I am schizophrenic and my family sent me here as soon as they heard that word, terrified of me now. I don't expect I will ever be welcomed home again, mental illness is not something my family will be prepared to experience close up. End of story!" he states

Angel thanks him for sharing that with us and moves on to Katrina, who has very little to say, other than her mother deserved the beating for torturing her for 12 years and she hopes she is hot in hell!

My turn. I have nothing to say, nothing to share, partly because I can't remember what brought me here for this 3rd admission but mainly because I think therapy is stupid. I have no idea why talking in front of a group of broken, needy and damaged people can possibly help me.

I meet Coopers eyes across the room and he gives me a small smirk. He's quite attractive actually. He has dark hair, thick and glossy, styled in an undercut, emerald green eyes, very pale porcelain skin, plump lips and piercings in his eyebrow, nose and lower lip. He looks like a 'bad boy'.... I like bad boys.... a lot!

Mrs Jones, the centres housekeeper comes in to clean up the expanding pee puddle after Angel calls her on his mobile. We all sit silently while she cleans without uttering a single word, she then leaves as quietly as she arrived. I swear that woman is a trained ninja, or a magician, she just silently appears and disappears, she'd make a fantastic assassin!

Once she leaves Angel turns to me and asks if I have anything I'd like to share with the group today. I tell him the same thing as I always do, which is 'no, nothing' and he reminds me that I can't begin to be considered fit for home until I engage with treatment. Looks like I'll be here for a very long time, I just want pills to treat my illnesses but Angel reminds me that therapy is one of the best forms of support, understanding ones own weaknesses and strengths goes a long way towards recovery or learning to live with conditions or illnesses.