1 A first chapter to her name

She said my thoughts were clear but I couldn't help but make them complicated. That my ideas were both fair and unbearable. That my voice followed the rhythm of my feelings every time I expressed them, that my tone was out of control every time she spoke, but that in the end, an air of regret would appear on my eyes. According to her my love is infinite, but at the same time heavy to bear, as if the entire universe could profit from it but could not bear the weight of my remorse for my mistakes, She was more afraid that I would become sensitive than the opposite because for her my love could belong to no one but her, yes her! The one who saw my love as the fruit of these deepest dreams, because like Eve, beyond all the prohibitions, wished at all costs that I be her blessing or her sin. According to her I do not deserve everything that happens to me, that even if my actions could not be justified, my thoughts about them are innocent, that I must be less harsh towards my own person. According to her, fate is often cruel to her and to me, that love is like an eclipse, two beings who line up to create only one, but who however do not join, move away but do not leave, love but do not tell each other... According to her, a story has no end until the book has been closed, evil has no end as long as one continues to think of it, happiness has no frontier, as long as one continues to believe in it, but also that she continues to believe...until she knows the reason...