Back and Forth

I sat up as I heard my phone vibrating somewhere lying on the bed. I looked around frantically, hoping it would be Dylan. My heart rate rose to see his name on the screen as I lifted my phone from the other side of my bed. "Hey, reached home?" I asked. "Yeah, I just called to thank you for what you did today. I don't know how, but I think my sister likes you." I blushed in response. It felt naturally good to have heard from him.

"So, next mission on Saturday, huh? By the way, what is the anniversary thing she was talking about?" I asked as that was going around in my head since I heard about it. "Oh yeah, actually it's my parents' wedding anniversary coming. Next month, it will be at my grandpa's estate. It's going to be pretty huge since probably my granny might read the final deed on the estate."

That must be a big deal for sure, like all this he was doing for winning over that particular estate. "Well, I don't think it's going to be that big of a deal if your granny is also like your sister. I can win her over too, the same way." I said, with unparalleled confidence in my voice. But I met with total silence on the other side. "Hello!" I checked if he still was on the line.

"Umm... I think you should meet her before you come to that conclusion," Dylan replied, making me a bit nervous as that particularly was not expected, nor he mentioned a lot about his granny. "Well, we will see then. Let's not stress about it yet. We are acing this game for now!" I was enthusiastic as I was glad that because of me, he would have something that he did deserve.

"And Meg, I want to tell you that I am sorry. I know I shouldn't get close to you beyond a point, and I am crossing my line a lot of times when I am with you." Dylan's voice was very deep at this point, as though he was whispering into the phone. I tried to take in all that he was saying, and it confused me, what he was pointing towards that. Our sexual tension was on its tip since the day we met, and we agreed on the pact, but now he was verbalizing something which I was not fully grasping. He had some concerns which I was not aware of yet.

"Are you saying you felt I was falling for you again?" I asked. The only time he must have felt that is when I kiss him. That is when I surrender to him, unknowingly. It's like my body is aching for his touch, and all it wants at that point is to merge into him.

"Oh! No. Not exactly. I already cleared that part with you. What I meant now is that I feel like being triggered at times. The way you look at me is not lust, which normally girls give me, and I am used to that. Only one girl, in the past, looked at me that way, and that took me for the hell ride turning me into this demon." I felt a weird sensation go through my body. Is he confessing that he was feeling emotional stirrings for me?

I didn't want to assume that yet, even though I secretly wished that if that was true. But that always ends in deep despair, as it always ends up something that I made up in my head. But his words did indicate the pain of being in love. Or going down that road again, I interpreted. "Well, I am not asking you to share anything with me, but I wish I knew more about what happened to you," I said, hoping he wouldn't close off further in fear of having to open up to me.

"Listen, Meg! That story of my life is very personal to me. Memories buried deep in my subconscious. I am not saying you are not worthy of knowing it. You're already doing something very personal without any selfish reason, I can't thank you enough for that, but I don't want to go back through that story with you as I am not sure in what light you will be seeing me thereafter."

Before I could say anything, he continued, "we have to keep our boundaries with each other. And I have to do this without breaking your heart. Okay?" Dylan said, his voice emotionless for a minute. I felt as though I don't know this man at all. I paused for a minute before answering, "You're right, Dyl! I will never ask you again; I am sorry. Let's focus on your granny then." I sighed, trying to ignore all the emotions that were pulling up on me, only to torture me later through the night.

"Hey! Don't apologize. I am just protecting you! And yeah, tackling my granny is going to be a task," he giggled, making my heart again do backflips. I facepalmed at my own stupid heart for having my heart act like a monkey without any self-control. "Can't wait!" I said, laughing out. We said our goodnights right after, leaving me to the monsters who waited on me as soon as the room went silent to attack me.

I had no idea what I have done to myself or got myself into being fully aware that he is emotionally unavailable and expected to change at some point was the most naive thing to do. I doubted my judgment on what basis did I agree with him that I will do this with him. Suddenly, the flashes of his smile, our kisses, the natural aroma he had over his body made me realize that at times, love can be foolish and beyond any logical explanation.

I kept running the thoughts of consoling myself and telling myself that being in love is a good enough explanation for being stupid in my mind as I fell into a deep slumber at some point.

I woke up around 7 AM, making a run for the office as I was going to show up again after a tiny break. I was pretty sure that there's going to be a lot to finish, which took all the fun away from the fact that it was Friday, and probably I will have to carry some work home as I can cover the load whenever I can during weekends. It was as the usual routine when I left the apartment, catch the subway, and get my latte then head to work.

I was chilling in my cabin after finishing another anthology edited when Jeffery entered with his friendliest of smiles and tons of questions about her well-being. I knew he is nice, and having a nice boss is a blessing, and I don't underestimate that, but succumbing to sexual harassment wouldn't be that comfortable. And there's only a thin line between the nice boss and their nice behavior which, can go into that area.

"Good to see you, Meg! Hope you are okay now; show me your leg." He said as he walked over to my side to take a closer look at my leg. I stretched my left leg to show him how well it has healed. I was wearing my work sneakers, unlike normal days, when I dash in my heels, which I loved so much. "Oh, it looks pretty good to me. I am glad it healed pretty quick." He smiled, patting my back.

Okay, that's it! I thought in my head and said, "yeah, my boyfriend is a doctor. He was there the entire time to take care of me." I said smiling at him, and I hoped the message would be clear for him. "Oh! That's awesome. Tell him I said hi. Anyways, let's get to work. See you later," he said as he made his way back to his office. I continued to smile in victory; I knew, probably that worked if at all, he was trying to get close.

Mentioning Dylan made me miss him. I wanted to tell him about what just happened. Well, telling him that I do have people who want my attention would probably give him the right nudge, I thought. Or maybe I am acting stupid, well I wanted to try regardless. I was becoming more reckless for some reason. I dialed his number, leaning into my chair. He picked up after a few rings.

"Hey, what's up?" Dylan said. His voice sounded unbothered, making me regret my decision to call him immediately. "Umm... Nothing, I just wanted to tell you that I had to mention you to my boss just a few minutes ago." I said nervously. I felt so stupid at that moment. I was considering jumping out of the window rather than dying of embarrassment.

"Oh! Did you? Is he hitting on you or something?" Dylan asked. I sighed in relief, making me feel a little less conscious that I didn't call him to say something weird. "Oh yeah! I felt as though he a little too nice, you know!" I added.

"Well, next time, tell me I will drop by your office. I am a pretty jealous man, just so, you know!" he said with his usual giggle. I smiled uncontrollably; now I felt like I shouldn't jump out of the window but fly to him. "You are? Well, we didn't discuss that part, so you can't see anyone, and I can't see anyone while we are in this? Even for the stuff?" I asked. He paused as though I asked something wrong. I regretted immediately making me facepalm again over my stupidity.

"Oh, Meg! I didn't know you had that bad needs. We could pretend to be strangers and do it if you can't hold it at all!" He said as he broke into a huge laughter. I shook my head and rolled my eyes, knowing he was again teasing me without knowing that I secretly would have loved that. "Well, you will have to hold it until we clear. I can't risk my family getting any loophole to the square upon us." Dylan declared, confirming our exclusiveness which, did make me feel happy.

"Good to know. So, I will see you tomorrow at the event." I said, closing our conversation. "Yeah, I will come over sometime in the afternoon. We can go together to your place." He said before he said goodbye and disconnected. I sat there smiling like an idiot, felt like I was a teenager who is in love with some celebrity, innocent but hopeless.