1 chapter one: fate

Everything is coming to an end...im sinking in water that is black and I am numb to it......

My name is raymethia, I am 17 years old.... you are probably wondering what is going on in my life that could be so awful for a teenager....like taking out the trash or having no clothes for school, but trust me it is not any of those things.....you find out you need to know my story.....

It all started a year ago....

"Mooooom, do I have to go to this appointment?" I whined for the millionth time that day. My mom laughed and nodded for the millionth time. I know it annoyed her when I wined. I couldn't help it, u am scared. The doctor called this morning and told us to come in and I knew it was bad news. I don't wanna put my mom through that. As I sat there I had a flashback to a few days ago........

I sat there with friends and was laughing at a dumb joke....my mom hates my friends. That's part of the reason I stay friends with them.....just to make mom mad. We stood and was walking towards class and that is when it happened. I got dizzy. One of the guys told me to stop joking around. That's the last thing I remember....i woke up in the hospital....they told me I was fine and they were sending me home.....that they would call with test results.

The flashback faded and tears welled up...i knew it was bad...ive known something was wrong for a while...

I am full of fear as we sit in the doctors office waiting to hear what they needed me here for. I felt like i was outside of my body watching everything happen around me. A spirit and watching another persons life happening before my eyes. When i heard them call my name i didn't wanna move...i didn't want to hear what they had to say. My whole body froze and i felt paralized. My mom grabbed my arm and drug me into the room telling me to sit. I sat and the doctor looked at us. "I brought you here today to discuss the test results." My breath seemed to leave my lungs and i waited. My mom seemed to be on the edge of her seat. "she is fine right doctor?" My mother said with a shaky voice. When the doctor started speaking again everything seemed to fade out and be distant.

When we left the doctors office i was still in a haze. I went to my room and laid down. Tears welled up in my eyes. That night i cried myself to sleep feeling alone and cold inside. I am dying and i have barely even lived .......