16 Chapter 12: Writer's entry (part 3)

Chapter 2

Dec 29

It's been 1 year that Mom suffered from her disease, I'm glad that the doctor is considerate of how tight we are now. I grabbed my wallet from the table, I have a small amount of money. I put my wallet in my pocket and head out of the house. I halted as I noticed snow is falling from the sky, I pulled out my scarf from my pocket, put it around my neck and started to walk.

As I walked through the neighborhood, my eyes landed on a well-lit window. A family that happily eats. Warmth enveloped them as they exchange smiles and gifts, my eyes landed on the other window of their neighborhood.

A girl reached her hand out as she took the gift her father handed her, a smile tugs on my lips.

The warm cocoas, warm pajamas that they wore couldn't compare to the warm smiles they've shared. Their warm smile enveloped the coldness of Christmas.

How nice. As I walked my way to the hospital, I halted as I saw oven mittens being displayed in a store. A smile tugs on my face, I went inside the store and buy it.

As soon as I arrived from the hospital, I straightly went to my mom's room.

"Mom," I called out as I opened the door. She is sitting up on her bed.

"Why aren't you sleeping yet?"I asked as I closed the door.

"I just can't sleep" Mom replied with a fragile smile. Looking at my Mom, her nose being inserted with a plastic tube.

I walked towards her.

"Mom, I got a surprise for you," I said with a smile.

"Oh, what is it?" she asked with a bit of excitement traced expression on her face.

"open it" I said as I handed her a red box with a ribbon. She slowly opened the box and smile, she held it in her hand and gave me a smile.

"Thank you, my son. I'm so happy with these mittens, I can't wait to use them"

With my Mom's warm smile, tears started to flow out. Her smile brings me strength.

Mom noticed the tears that streamed down my face, "Sorry, my son. I couldn't buy you a gift for today's Christmas"

I shake my head a little, "It's okay, Mom"

I wiped my tears, looking at her. "I should be the one saying sorry because its a late gift from me"

Mom shakes her head, "thank you so much, Shiki. Mom couldn't wait to use this to bake a cake for you"

I gave my Mom a smile and caressed her hand, "belated Merry Christmas to us, Mom"

And Mom wiped my tears with a smile in exchange for wiping her tears. I promise to help my Mom. A sudden knock is heard on the door, I stood up from my seat and went to see who is it.

"Good evening, sir. Doc Merkel wants to discuss something with you"

I looked at Mom before I left, the nurse went inside to take my Mom's vital signs and I head to see the doctor. I thought I'll receive good news, however...

"She needs a lung transplant, Mr.Matsuda."

"But how about the treatments that--"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Matsuda but she really needs it. The effectiveness of the medication treatment didn't quite affect her as much as how it affects her before"

I clenched my fist as I heard what the doctor said, the money that I've spent for my Mom's treatment isn't enough.

"The best option is to have a lung transplant, Mr. Matsuda. Please, think about it and tell me your decision tomorrow night"

I nodded and the doctor excused himself, I'm stuck on where I am seated, thinking a decision what's best for Mom.

I walked out to the room and head to my Mom's room.

"My son... " Mom gently called me out.

"Oh, Mom. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to buy the cake or any dessert that you like." and closed the door, holding back my tears.

"It's okay" she replied, not looking at me.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Shiki. Just thinking about your future. I knew you've been working hard for my treatments and Mom couldn't even repay what you did"

I hold my mom's hand, "Mom"

Mom looked at me with a sad expression on her face.

"I don't care if you couldn't repay me, I just want you to be okay and Mom, I'll promise you one thing..." I paused.

"You live another day.." I said with a smile, saying it with so much hope. "another year and we're going to celebrate my birthday"

"I promise you that, Mom" I added, giving her a tight squeeze in her hand.

Dec 31

6pm

"What's wrong, Shiki? Shouldn't you be happy because I'm with you right now and few hours will be New Year"

I ignored what Aki said and let my mind think about the lung transplant that I agreed with the doctor.

"Shiki? Shiki! " I snapped back and looked at Aki, 'I'-I'm sorry, I'm thinking about my mom"

Aki's eyebrows raised, "What about your mom?"

"She.." I paused. "She is not well"

I didn't realize my tears start to flow, I don't know where I could get the money. I don't have enough money for her lung transplant.

"She needs a transplant and I need the money. I don't know what should I do"

Aki sits next to Shiki.

"Is that the reason why you work here?" Aki asked, looking at the customers choosing their preferences.

I nodded, a smile tugs on Aki's lips.

"Your mother is lucky to have a son like you, not everyone is like that towards their mother"

"You know, I always treat you like a brother. I often get worried about you, working late at night and you're so strong that you can manage both your study and work"

"You really did your best and I admired that. Sometimes, our parents are the only people we need to lean on regardless of your age "

I looked at Aki as if he remembers someone, "Anyway, how much money do you need by the way?" he asked, snapping me back

"53,890.25 yen"

"Can you wait here? I'll be back in a few minutes"

I slowly nodded, "Okay"

A few hours later, Aki is in front of the convenience store. He quickly went inside.

"Here," Aki said as he handed me an envelope.

I took it from his hand, "What's this for?"

"It's yours" slowly opened the envelope and my eyes widened.

"B-but this is-"

"Go now, save your mom. I'll be the clerk here for now," he said with a thumbs up and a smile. "Now, go. Hurry! Time is running"

I stood up and bowed, tears welled up on the corner of my eyes "thank you so much. Thank you so much, Aki-san.I promise to you pay you back"

Aki shot me a warm smile, I quickly went out of the store. Few people were smiling as they welcome the New Year, everyone is looking forward to the New Year and including me. I'm looking forward this New Year. I looked at my phone as I ran, it's already 11:35, I quickly turned and ran, heading to the hospital.

I pant as halted on a white room number, I opened the door and entered.

"Mom! Mom! " I called out.

"You can now have your lung transplant tomorrow," I said with so much joy as I sit on the side of the bed. Mom slowly opened her eyes and slowly looked at me.

"Mom, you can now have your transplant tomorrow." Mom shot me a smile. "Be... Good, my... Son"

"You'll be okay again and..."My sentences are interrupted as I heard the sound beeps of the monitor. Every beeping sound of the monitor made my hands cold.

"Mom? Mom!" I quickly went out and called a nurse. Nurses and doctors came quickly. The nurses and doctors wanted me to get out of the room but I stayed as I looked at them doing their best to win Mom as she tugs of war between life and death.

The waves of the heart monitor went up and down and followed a rapid beeping sound.

'M-Mom..." I quietly called out.

And the sound of a muffled bang of fireworks outside couldn't be heard as a high-pitched sound echoed in the room.

On that day, that's the only sound I don't ever want to hear.

Time of death: 12:00 Jan 1, 2015

Tears streamed down my face, the nurses and doctors glance down, clearing the way as I slowly walked towards Mom.

'Mom" I said, gently shaking her to wake up. Mom didn't respond, I noticed a tear fell down her eye.

'Mom...don't kid around. Wake up, " I said, chuckled as tears endlessly streamed down my face.

"Mom..."

"Mom, today's my birthday now. Aren't you gonna greet me?" I asked with a smile as tears kept blurring my vision.

New Year is welcomed with a smile and joy but I welcomed New Year with tears and pain.

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