1 【Prologue】
"What do you desire?"
The question echoed in this vast space of absolute darkness, but even with the absence of light I was able to see.
"Tell me, little one. Your greatest desire."
The voice said again, this time sounding like it was trying to coax an answer out of me. If I was like many of my peers, I would most likely have a solid answer. But I was not. I did not fit the category of 'normal' and I knew that despite the adults in my life telling me otherwise.
"I don't know." I replied. Truly, I do not know what my heart desired. Was it money?
"Are you sure?" the voice asked, "Do you not want wealth?"
A pile of jewelry; gold, diamond and pearls shimmered in the dark, defying all laws of science. Rain of money of all currencies ranging from pennies and paper money drizzled down. Had it not been for the odd way I did not have a sense of touch in this supernatural space, I was sure the raining coins would've hurt alot.
The way the treasures shone brightly without light needed for it to reflect was tempting, but I had to decline. Money is only useful in human civilisation and it was a superficial creation of human civilisation. Without the need to trade, money was of no use.
"What about, a gourmet of heavenly food?" it said again.
Rows of food ranging from street food to high-end gourmet only available to the people standing on the top of the caste system appeared. An enticing smell erupted and even with alot of food squeezed in the never-ending white clothed rectangular tables, the tantalizing aroma was a harmony of different exquisite cuisine that wafted through this endless space.
Shaking my head again, the voice said, "I know. A handsome and loyal man that would pamper you for a lifetime."
The image of an out of the world face of a man appeared, his smile was radiant like a sun which momentarily blinded me and he was very very seductive, reminding me of the suppresed memories in which I enjoyed the overbearing CEO stories. The man seemed to be the manifestation of my dream guy—if I had a specific one. However, the guy sent a cheeky wink at me and I fought the urge to cringe.
Again, I shook my head.
"What about a kingdom for you to govern? Imagine all the people worshipping you and the cheers of the crowd as you bath in glory and riches." The voice said with a persuasive voice.
The image of a beautiful fantasy RPG-like kingdom appeared with the enthusiastic cheers of the people below the balcony. Confetti decorated the place, march songs and folklore music were played as the people danced without care. It was tempting at first glance, but I sighed as I remembered how people often had contradicting arguements, ideas and complains.
No matter what, the government would never be able to appease all sides and even without governing this kingdom, I can already feel a migraine thinking about the responsibilities I will carry after taking hold of the power.
I was sure if I took the lead of the monarchy, this kingdom would crumble soon. Diplomacy, tax and unbiased judgement was a big downside (to the power I'll hold) as well as one of my weaknesses.
I preferred to listen to all sides of the story before making a judgement. Though it may sound noble of me to do so, sometimes the perspective of the people involved differs and it'll only make it a harder decision to decide who was in the right and wrong.
I was never decisive to begin with, so I shook my head again.
"Then tell me o' little one. What does your heart desire?" The voice said with increasing exasperation.
I wonder myself.
"What about, another chance at life?"
Now this was the most tempting offer and I can feel my heartstrings tugging at the mention of a second chance at life.
But, did I really have the courage to relive my life?
Was I able to face the same people who were partially the cause of my demise. And to meet the people who were dear to me?
No I did not have the courage no matter how much I tried to muster to face the flood of emotions; pain, grief and happiness. I am a cowardly fool who drowns in self-blame and self-pity.
A person weak to the judgemental gazes of society and I loathed myself for acting this way.
I wanted to be different—this time in a good way—, I wanted to experience things from different perspectives in search of what I truly desired.
"Very well little one. Off you go." The voice said in a contented manner like it was satisfied with my unexpected resolution.
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