Chapter 2 The Snowy Bridge

The nurses realized I was awake and ran around checking my vitals and such. I was still confused on what was happening until I finally asked a nurse what was going on. She called in this strange woman who sat down in a chair next to me bed. "Hi Nevaya, my name is Karan. I'm a social worker who's going to help you." I didn't understand why she was here and where was my mom?! "Where's my mom?" she could see the confusion on my face and took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Give me a moment." She said then stepped outside and made a call and soon after that, another woman walked in. They both sat down and the other introduced herself as doctor Jammie, she was a phyciatrist.

I asked them "What's going on? Where's my mom?!". I was getting upset and scared when they weren't answering me. Jammie went on and on about things. Eventually she starts talking about abandonment and it all hit me. "Your mom left the hospital and never returned. She then disappeared and no one can find her ." Karan had told me. "What about my father?" I asked looking away. "He was put in jail for attempt murder and child abuse."

This all meant I'd have to go live with a relative, but there wasn't anyone who would answer any calls. Eventually after being turned down by everyone, I had to go into the "system". I didn't know what to do. They tried to explain it to me but I zoned out most of the conversation.

Over the next few months I went to a few different homes. I struggled being around father figures which made it hard for me to find a home. It was hard for me to stay with a family because of all the therapy costs. There were some really nice families, but I struggled around the "father". I often woke up in the middle of the night screaming and if he came in to comfort me, I'd freak out. They usually said I was too much to handle. This went on for years and then I turned 13.

I decided to run away from it all. I was 13 and had about $500 by doing work for neighbors and such. I had been saving everything for 4 years just so I could escape. I knew exactly where I wanted to go and exactly what I wanted to do. I took a taxi all the way to the house I was raised in. When I arrived I saw the house decorated in Christmas lights and I went up to the window. I saw a family laughing and smiling while playing games in the living room. I stared at the Christmas tree and 2 kids playing with their toys. It was Christmas after all. I never had a true Christmas here, or anywhere. I started to walk to a nearby park that my parents used to take me too. I loved the swings and this bridge that was huge to me at the time, but it seemed smaller now. It was covered in snow and still high off the ground though. It was above water that I was surprised had not frozen over in the freezing weather.

I climbed over the rails of the bridge and sat on a small ledge. I sat there for a while all huddled up trying to keep warm even though I knew it didn't really matter. I couldn't stand this anymore. I didn't wanna be here. Nobody wanted me. I was an orphan child with PTSD and a teenager.

I slowly stood up and I took a step off of the ledge landing in freezing water. I look up at the moon shining so bright before I close my eyes. The cold was a lot to handle but I knew it was gonna set me free.