40 Chapter 35- Insecurities

ALEX'S POV:

As soon as she left, I screamed out of anger. There is no way I said her a slut. It was just a slip of tongue.

How can I just hurt her like that? I have promised her, that no matter what I will never be the reason for her tears. That I will keep her safe and happy. Then how can I just do that?

But how can she say we are just some reckless affair?

I closed my eyes in frustration and a few flashbacks flashed in my mind to what happened today.

I walked into the campus being all happy and cheerful. She was the reason for it. I spot Mike, Shawn & Bellamy outside the class. They were younger than me in age, but we always go along together well. Shawn and I share the same class while Bellamy and Mike shared only the Pediatrics class.

While Bellamy was a graduate student, Mike, Shawn and I were doing our Master's. Despite being our junior she pulls our team together.

I knew she had always liked me from the very first day but I have never provoked her in any case. I see her as my friend or rather a sister.

As I remember the last incident I tried not to be too harsh on her. I haven't seen her since then. It was after weeks. Mike and Bellamy seem a little uncomfortable seeing me. I tried to blend in, but suddenly Bellamy hugged me out of the blue. My hands were up in the air careful not to touch her the wrong way.

Everyone started looking at us.

"Why are you with her? I can offer more than her. Just give me a chance" She said making me confused.

I looked up at them all confused.

"I know you are dating her. For sex? I can give you what she can... But more. I love you, Alex. While she's just with you for sex."

"What are you talking about?"

Without further words, She looked up at me with her little doe hazel eyes and she kissed me making me shocked as well as surprised. As soon as I realised what is going on I pushed her but she fell to the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked concernedly but it was too late Mike already got her. I saw the love and affection for Bellamy in the eyes of Mike the same way I have for Mira. Mike make her stand on her feet and asked her if she was okay.

Shawn was standing all lost and trying to calm us down.

"Do you think you can do this to her and get away with it?" Mike questioned in anger.

"I am sorry Bellamy I didn't mean that." I tried to apologise and settle things.

"And what about you hurting her all these months? you know that she likes you and still chose to ignore her. Do you think that I have no idea about your affair with that older woman?" Mike shouted in her voice making me stop on the track.

Right now I do not have any idea what was going on. Still, I tried to calm things up.

"you are wrong to think that I will let you hurt her. What are you with her for sex? Do you think we don't know about you and Valeria? She is the reason that are you ignoring her right? I have seen you that day outside Coleman's restaurant with her. We all know about the rumour about how slutty she is..."

Thank god they didn't know it was Mira.

"Mike you have no right to talk shit about people you don't know"

"Oh, I very well know about that slut who sleeps around with guys for some horny ass."

That was it when I lost it. I punch him right in his face making him fall to the ground. That is where it all started. us fighting. But my anger took off as soon as he talked shit about Mira. I punched him until he bleeds and would probably end him if Shawn had not stopped me.

Although they didn't know it was Mira, they accused Valeria as a slut. Whatever they say, it was all about Mira. I cannot stand it when they chose to talk shot about her personal life choice. Everyone has a choice in life. She has to and I respect that. Most importantly I loved her bold side. Valeria. I am thankful I met Valeria before I met Mira.

That afternoon I got called by the Deen and got suspension but I do not worry about that. Mira was more important to me.

She still is.

I ignited my Bugatti and drove to her apartment. I need to settle things between us. I just cannot let her go. It started raining all of a sudden just like how my life went upside down in just a day.

I rang her bell and soon she opened the door, her eyes widened to see me there... Anger was taking me all over. The drop of water was dripping from my body. I was panting but still, I didn't care. I need to see her. She just cannot end us like this.

"Tell me we are not just some reckless affair Mira," I asked crying and begging before her.

"Alex... what are you doing here?"

"Just answer the goddamn question! what are we to you?"

She kept looking at me with her dark cloudy eyes. They were wordless at this time.

Tears falls from my eyes as I asked once again in my breaking voice-" Tell me you feel the same way I do Mira! tell me" I begged.

"I am sorry I can't" Her little words cut through my ears like a knife.

I fell to my knees and looked with the last hope in my eyes. " I love you"

"Please don't. I have already done so many mistakes. I do not want to do any more. Just-- go home--- Please"

"Is everything okay?" A voice came from behind. A male voice.

I frowned and asked in confusion-" Who was that?"

She seemed nervous. Something is wrong. There is no way she is cheating on me now.

And then I saw him coming out of her house. Mr Han. My world is shattered into pieces right now. I have never believed or expected her to be like this.

Is this even true? Did she lie all about us?

Is she sleeping with Mr Han behind my back?

I do not want to believe this but I have no choice. I cannot just ignore what I am looking at.

"Alex?" He said while frowning. He was wearing a formal suit and neat attire. He was standing behind her with a straight and confused face.

"What is he doing here?" I asked Mira in anger.

I can not believe that she is cheating on me behind my back. Oh, wait, why the fuck am I saying cheating? She never considered me her boyfriend still. I was just her game.

"Ale--Alex Listen to me. You need to calm down and go home right now. I will meet you tomorrow okay?"

"No... It's not fucking okay Mira. I cannot just leave that you want me to go back home so you can fuck this man right here!" My fury was turning into rage. The anger in my veins caused them to pop up a little. I can feel how angry I was right at this moment with her.

"Behave yourself, Alex." She shouted trying to shut me down. But I was not going to shut it up today. This was enough. Enough of her.

"Why? Why are you here?" I asked directly grabbing his collar at this time. I knew Mira wouldn't tell me anything, So I need to take it out from him.

But to my surprise, he was utterly calm at this point.

"I think you should listen to her. Tomorrow you are gonna regret this"

"I don't fucking care. Tell me why are you here?" I demanded. My eyes were spitting fire by now probably. I want to kill him right there. Mira grabbed my hands and tried to calm me down but it was too late.

I went fucking mad at this time.

"Tell me?" I demanded.

Just then I got a tight slap on my face as all other sounds fainted and I could hear only the sound of a ring... In my head.

Mira slapped me!

I looked at her unbelievably. She slapped me for him. This is what she is. Valeria. I have always feared this day. When she would not need me anymore. What would I do?

So this is it. Is this what it feels like? Terrible and broke?

It would be a waste if I stayed there any longer. I have received my answer now.

I can not believe she did this to me. I cannot believe my ears. But eyes never lie. Her eyes tell me how sorry she was really. I closed my eyes and let the lone tear fall away. I chuckled sadly as I stood up. Lost.

"So this is our goodbye then?" I asked sadly as she kept staring at me with her teary eyes.

I nodded to her silence. I know Valeria would not need me anymore. That is what she is. I didn't stop anymore and left her without turning back.

MIRA'S POV:

As I watched him go away my heart clenched with the sharp pain that I have never expected to have again. I hate to see him go away. I wanted to stop him, hug him and I want his warmth to calm my nerves. But all I did was watched him disappear from behind the elevator doors.

I fall to the ground as soon as he left. What did I do? I messed up everything. What do I do now?

I closed my eyes and let the agony take over me. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall away. My heart was aching for him and everything else was disappearing from my vision.

"Mira? Mira? Mira?... Look at me Mira.... take deep breaths..." Mr Han's faint voice slowly became my focus as it came to my mind but I was not in the state to reply to him or anything else.

I messed up everything due to my broken past. It was my fault.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Love is a big word to describe. What I tried to depict in this book was how love can manipulate us. A forbidden romance is always been with greater risk. But also the forbidden love gives you something more than we have expected.

They both were broke would before they found each other. And they clicked awesomely how they make out due to lust.

The thought line between lust and love says all. For Alex Mira was always more than lust. And to Mira, he was always her control.

We need to understand love cannot be controlled. It is the feeling we need to understand.

Hope you all loved this climax chapter. The next one is the last. Be ready to witness what will happen after this.