39 Chapter 34- "Reckless Affair"

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Whatever I was scared of all these days has started happening already. This is why I never liked to attach myself to someone. I know either I or he would catch up in a muddle that we won't be able to come out quickly or this is going to ruin us.

I have thought to myself many times that we need to stop at some point in time. But to our fate, we both couldn't stop it. We were too clouded with the mist of lust that took us over.

I thought I could control it just as I did with others... But I couldn't. Everything surprisingly started going off from my control.

What have I done?

It was not far from where it would be very likely that I could get nominated for the new president. If I win, I'd be the youngest president across the globe. It would be an achievement. Everything was in the perfect place. Everything was under my control. Everything I have worked for was finally likely to set me with the prize.

But right now, I could see it falling. I am scared. Scared of the possible things that it could do to Alex and me if the news of our, dating got out there.

How can he put up such a stupid show?

More than being worried about him right now, I was angry with him. It was his fault from the very first place. He keeps on pushing me off my limits. We broke so many rules. Now, this can break us well.

These three months indeed have been the best of my existence. The grid we chose to go off had shown us both excitement and fire which bonded us together. We could barely take our hands off each other. We were devoured with lust that we went on breaking all the other rules that existed. But now this is something that can take both of us down the cliff in one go.

I stepped out of the car and rushed inside his building. Within no time I reached his floor and rang the bell.

As soon as he opened the door, I forced myself in and asked with a deadpan-" I demand an explanation right now"

He looked at me all confused and covered in bruises.

"Wha--- What are you doing here?" he managed to ask as I walked inside his living room and he followed.

"What am I supposed to do when I get to know that you almost spill our secret out in the world?"

"What do you mean?" he asked knitting his brows.

"Do not act like all innocent here. I know what happened in the school today. And why the hell did it happens in the first place?"

"Oh, you mean why all of a sudden you decided to talk to my friends over the call a few days ago and why their suspicion turned into the belief that I have a girlfriend in the first place?"

"Oh and now you mean to say this is all my fault?"

"No... this is all mine that I tried to fight for you with my friends. Because for me you matter the most from any of them... it was my fault." His voice softens at this time. But nothing could match my fury right now.

"To what I heard that seemed like you were too close with Bellamy in the first place... that is why all this happened... Don't tell me that I didn't warn you that she liked you. You are the one who ignored me. And right now everything is happening all because of her!"

"How can you put her in between all this?'

"How can I not? How can it not affect me that you are the one who provoked her to fall for you in the first place? You did this all."

He looked at me blankly. He couldn't believe I would say that. That I would know that despite knowing that she likes him, he never said anything to her to stop her right there. He led her. and that caused all of this. Slowly he looked at me with disgust and anger.

His ocean-blue eyes were showing the storm in them. The eyes which once showed love and affection are now filled with anger and disgust. His messy hair and bruised eyepatch and dried lips showed that every part of him is broken right now.

"You don't mean that"

"Oh, I do. None of this should have happened in the first place. 'We' shouldn't have happened. Maybe that was way better than this. You pushed me off the cliff, You pushed me off my limits and now everything is getting out of my control."

"For fuck's sake stop controlling things. This is how life goes on.."

"I can't..." I screamed telling him how much pain it is giving me. "I can't... This... is what I am. This is what I was. I can't give up on the control of everything just for some stupid reckless affair." I cried.

And now I said something I shouldn't have. I stopped when I see the storm in his eyes slowly disappear and the disgust started re-filling with hurt. He was hurt. I hurt him.

"So all I was in some stupid reckless affair to you?" He questioned in his deep voice. The voice which once hold the affirmation now is filled with hurt.

My lips quivered in shame, that I hurt the person who values me the most to me. But I couldn't ignore it anymore. It was true he shouldn't have happened at all. Despite knowing he is a kid, who made me recklessly fall for him, which can cause this stupid situation, I should have controlled it better.

It was my fault.

He walked towards me and held me by my arms. Tears started falling from my eyes just like some open tap. His face was just some inches away from me. His breaths were falling on my skin causing it to feel the heat inside of him right now. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore. So I looked down. Closing my eyes allowing my agony to flow away in the form of tears.

"Tell me, Mira... Am I just a reckless affair to you all these months? Haven't I made it still to your heart yet?" His calm voice asked me.

The calmness denoted the "after tsunami" in it.

"Answer me!" he shouted and I get started by his sudden action.

I bite my tongue to hold off my tears and finally met his eyes. He was crying. He was crying for me. I gulped seeing his vulnerable state but I couldn't do much.

"Tell me you never felt the way I felt for you Mira," he asked once again but this time his voice breaks at the end. He was trying hard to hold on but failed terribly.

"No, I haven't" I finally answered. Though it was a lie that's what came out of my mouth at that point in time.

His hands left my skin and I immediately felt a pain in my chest that I have never come across.

"I see." He sadly chuckled. "So all I was a just sex toy for you all along? All you being these days was just a slut?". He throws the nearest fruit basket causing it to spill all over the floor. His anger was out of control and right now he is looking like a crazy person, who is hurt. He began to throw a few things after that causing a few plates to break and scatter all over the floor.

I looked at him disgustingly. I was hating him right now. He was terming me the same name just as the rest of the world termed me.

This is why I hate men. In the end, they were all the same. They will take you, claim you, show you all the affection and then will call you a slut once all of these are over. That is what happened right now.

"Did you just call me a slut?"

He looked at me blankly realising his fault.

"Mira. I--- Don't..." He tried apologizing... but It was too late.

"Don't..." I stepped back a few steps away from him.

His frustrated face looked at me with desperate apologies but I was not in the situation to give any of it. I stood there looking at him pathetically. He pushed his hair back in frustration and anger. that is the only thing he could do now.

The air was heated inside. Whatever we say right now will only make things worse. So I want to leave. I turned my heels from there and walked towards the door. But before I could make it out from there, his hands gripped my wrist.

"Let me go," I said firmly.

"No... Mira just listens to me... Please"

"Maybe we should just rethink everything. Let go of me, Alex. I need to take care of what you caused."

I could hear his little sighs but I decided not to look back. Maybe I should never have. After that one night, I should have stopped. Only then I could have controlled all of this. But it was too late now. There is nothing I could do to turn it back.

As much as I tried not to cry over him, I couldn't stop myself from tearing up.

Tom rides passed the traffic towards my apartment as I stayed there recalling everything from the very beginning. How destiny brought him to me, how I get lost in his eyes. How one night makes all the changes, How I risk everything just for one person. Despite knowing that I was breaking all my own rule I let him in.

And it was too late now to take him out.

I do not know what exactly happened today, but from what I got to know is that Mike somehow is suspicious that he's dating someone older than him. How did he get the idea? If he is suspecting this, it is not far when the finger would rise at me. I would lose everything if the news of him and I get out. Nicarno would win easily and Kelly would laugh looking at the pathetic me. I would lose the faith and trust that Andrew have for me too.

I cannot let all this happen. I was too scared. Tears didn't stop all the way through my journey to my house. I cannot call it home anymore because I was missing a piece again. I broke into tears knowing the same thing had been repeated in my life once again. Someone I trusted broke me all over again.

All this little happiness seems to fade away once again from my life. Now I realise I shouldn't have been tempted by him. I should have let him in and I shouldn't have let any of this happen. This was all my fault.

I sat on the nearest chair thinking about what would be the result of my fault. What could I possibly do to make out of all this?

All I could do now is to run. Like I have been all of my life. Like I ran 4 years ago when I decided on my destination from India to New York. Run to start all over again. But the thing which I was not sure of is, that running would help me out this time. Alex was probably more than what I thought him to be in my life.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

When love comes to the edge, we need to choose.

Mira has to choose. Alex has always loved Mira more than she can ever imagine. Now all he has to do is to wait.

Also, I would like to give a small piece of advice, never say anything when you are angry. The words you chose are not what you meant. It is all a part of the aggression.

Now we are in the last chapter. Hope she would realise what she is missing. Comment down your thoughts. See ya in the next update. See ya. XOXO.