8 8

It was big.

But it was beautiful.

It was dark, but it wasn't intimidating.

It actually looked inviting.

Cold, yet warm.

I looked around.

So many books.

I felt like crying.

As if I finally had found my peace.

As if the time stopped— as if there wasn't such a thing called time.

I could spend hours in here and I wouldn't be bored.

"My lady, this room needs to be cleaned. Look at the dusty, stuffy air."

"You are right. Call the maids to clean up this room."

As I said that Mina bowed and immediately left to get some maids.

I looked around. Right next to the door there was a big bookshelf.

In the middle of the room a big desk, with inkwell and lots of papers on it.

Big windows half way covered with bordeaux curtains, so that just some sun rays could come through. I went over to the desk. The chair faced the windows, the bookshelf eight steps away.

The bookshelf covered the whole wall.

On the left of the door there was another big bookshelf. Right in front of the opposite wall, there was long exquisite couch.

I looked out of the window.

I saw the same view I had from my bedroom.

There was a glass door, which led to the balcony.

I opened the glass door, to be met with a light breeze. I enjoyed the breeze. Somehow I craved for it, since up until now everything and everyone suffocated me.

I decided to return to the study room.

The maids stood there still and waited for me to demand.

„Please clean up this place. Ah, and it would be nice if I could get fresh inkwell, a blanket and a pillow. Another thing is, pleace do not enter this floor after 5 pm. Thank you for your hard work."

They looked up at me, with confused faces.

But Mina gave them a certain look, which I couldn't catch, but I could swear that her look was threatening.

I think I was too nice, that's probably why they looked questioning at each other.

After I returned to my chambers, I took my notebook, and walked around in the mansion.

I arrived at the first floor, the hallway where the entrance to this mansion is.

I could escape.

Just run out of here.

But I couldn't. I knew that if I left this house, I would face more dangers as a woman. As a girl.

I'd probably die after a few days, left with nothing on the cold streets.

This thought made me shiver.

Why is there nothing I can do?

Why?

As a woman why?

As a girl.

Why did women suffer in my world so much?

And apparently society here lets women also suffer.

They need to be perfect.

Perfect in the ideal picture... of men.

As if being an overthinker isn't enough, I somehow got into another world.

In a novel.

I was in a damn novel.

I laughed out loud. I still couldn't believe that I was stuck in a novel, which I couldn't even read until the end.

I was at the brink of madness.

It drove me crazy how I knew absolutely nothing about this world.

I was still laughing. Tears formed up in my eyes.

Scared that I really might be crazy.

Maybe this everything is shizophrenia?

What if my previous world was a dream?

What if that all never happened in real life?

Maybe I'm really Zephyra.

Maybe I was in a coma?

No. No. No.

Everything was too real.

It was real.

Now it is also real.

I couldn't differ any realities anymore.

What had been real, what was real.

I didn't know anymore.

I already had a thought like this, but it popped up again.

What if I die here?

What if I then will return?

What if I'll wake up, as if nothing happened?

What if I kill myself?

Yes, maybe this will work.

I might be able to end all of this suffering and headaches of overthinking.

Oh, what I would give everything to just end this thinking.

Sometimes, I just want to stop thinking.

Thinking nothing at all.

Floating in the endless nothing.

Maybe that's how it is to not think at all.

Mina's shout interrupted me from thinking.

Thank you so much Mina. For not letting me go crazy, although you have no clue what's going on in my mind.

"Lady Zephyra. Do you want to go out?"

"I'm not sure yet. How far are the maids with the cleaning?"

"Lady... They are done, it's been almost half an hour."

I dozed off for more than an hour.

That's absolutely not healthy.

"I asked because you have been looking at the door for 5 minutes straight."

"Oh. Yes, it might be nice taking a stroll together."

She stared at me for a while, but was happy later on.

I think she knows.

I think she knows, that I'm not her.

That I'm not lady Zephyra.

Ha, look at how obvious I am.

But let's act, as if I don't know that she knows.

Let's act as if I'm lady Zephyra.

Her sudden and long stares.

Her quiteness.

As if she's observing what my next move will be.

But out of curiosity, not any bad intention.

That's what I hope atleast.

„As you wish, my lady."

She said and led me outside.

I didn't know Mina for long. It has been merely two days. But I just knew, that she wasn't dumb. That she, even for her energetic and sometimes childish behavior, was actually clever.

We took a stroll, while I determined the outside of the mansion.

It had a beige colour, but seemed clean and new.

Many windows, balconies.

It was surrounded by big, high trees.

Far from the mansion, I could see that there was another building, maybe even a cottage.

"Mina, let's get over there."

I said, pointing my finger where the unknown building is.

She looked up, and chuckled.

"You weren't in that place for a long time now my lady."

"In what place?"

"Well, the estate where the knights of the dukedom reside."

My curiosity drove me in that direction.

I wanted to see other people than just my supposedly family and the maids.

So, we headed to the estate.

It already looked petite from the distance, but I didn't know it was really that small compared to the mansion.

Well, they are just knights of the duke, that's probably why.

Trees covered the entrance, shadows cooling the area down.

As we walked further, I could hear the sound of steels touching steels.

As if people would fight?

I turned around, looking at Mina.

Somehow she knew I wanted to go there, so I could see what was actually going on.

Since people are fighting, that must mean there's a training ground.

I slowly passed the entrance, knowing it was right behing the little estate.

And I was correct.

Right behind the estate, where the knights reside, there was a training ground.

There were approximately 20 Knights actively doing some training, maybe even more.

I looked around.

They really do work hard.

It kind of motivates me to do so too.

Sweating knights, some of them even freeing themselves from the uniform, going around with a naked upper body.

I'm not going to lie, it is indeed quite the view.

But I shook my head, realising I could've scared them off with my glaring. And I was certainly not here to disturb their training by just keeping my creepy gaze at them.

I chuckled at my own thought.

Even though I am not a very fit person, I had the sudden energy boost and urge to join them.

Come to think of it, there was a knight who brought me back to the mansion. He might be her—

"Lady Zephyra, long time no see!"

A masculine voice teared me out of my mind.

I turned around, met the eyes of the person, who called my name.

I slightly widened my eyes.

Flying dark blue hair in the light wind, remarkable purple eyes, jogging towards me.

It was him.