3 Mishaps During Training (2)

After Rasputin had brought up that (DESPICABLE) topic, he flung himself into his training. Firstly, he ran 15 laps on a treadmill he found in the dumpster.

Note, one lap to us maybe a mile, but to him, it was 10 miles. For which, he was utterly exhausted. "Damn, I don't wanna do anymore!" Rasputin cried vehemently, "I need some music..."

He logged onto his pancake of a computer, signed into gobble plus, and then logged into YouSuck.com. He scrolled through the newest popular music and was surprised to find "Rasputin" by Boney M.

"Hmm? For me?" He hopped up and down, "Finally the recognition I deserve!" He pressed play and started to lift the dumbbells.

'Ra - Ra - Rasputin! Lover of the Russian Queen! There was a cat that really was gone!'

"What????!!!" Rasputin screamed, "What the hell do you mean lover of the Russian Queen?! Who is the Russian queen?" He chucked the dumbbell to the side, rushing to his computer to look up the lyrics.

His face reddened as he read the lyrics, 'He was ... when he had a girl to squeeze.' "Fuck me! I'm named after a womanizer! I'm still a virgin! So who is this other 'Rasputin!'" He spat, "I'm gonna rip him LIMB FROM LIMB!"

'Boink'

He flailed his arms, causing a small bubble of chocolate to form. "Find me, Rasputin! And cover him in chocolate!" he yelled.

'splash'

The bubble poured chocolate on Rasputin, causing his eyes to redden. "NOT ME YOU MORON!"

'Sir, you said Rasputin...'

"FUCK YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT I meant.... Mmm, chocolate."

(We'll let Rasputin enjoy his chocolate for now.)