2 Bully in the Making

As I entered primary school I was bullied a lot. The main focus of their taunts were because I don't have a dad and mom's too busy with work that she can't come to any events in school so I made it a point not to join anything and also because the only focus of myself at that time was to play.

Sadly, maybe because I have had a lot of angst deep within me even though I am young and my mind wasn't fully developed yet, I tend to hide my real self by being grumpy and aloof to other kids.

There was one event in my 1st grade that a young boy, classmate of mine teased me for I don't know the reason what and he was sitting on a wheelchair. Due to him pissing me off, I pushed him on the corridor while still on the chair and he ends up tumbling down. For fear that I'll be called to the guidance office, I ran as fast as my little feet away from school. i remember that I head behind our house until dark and just listen if my mom will be mad at me because of my naughtiness but gladly it didn't happen. For some unknown reason, that classmate of mine didn't tell anyone why he ended up like that.

That was the time that me being a bully comes to life.

Instead of being bullied, i turned into the bully.

On my 2nd grade of primary school, i tried to be a nice kid. I helped my teacher a lot. Mind you, kids like us felt special when a teacher asked us to bring the iced box that contains the ice candy our teacher was selling. I thought it was such a privilege to be asked by my teacher at that time. I remember I was given a ribbon as being Most Industrious. Lol!

Yet I guess the bully kid in me won't be silent for long for there come a time that I wasn't listening to my teacher instead I was cutting paper dolls that my teacher got mad at me and confiscated the scissor I was holding. Flustered and maybe feeling shamed in front of the class, I went berserk and kicked the chair in front of me. My poor classmate who was sitting in front wasn't ready for that assault of mine that she was pinned down between her chair and the chair in front of her. For that misbehavior, I was punished to stand in the quadrangle in the heat of the sun.

As 3rd grade come to pass, my naughtiness escalate to its highest. I was not a child who simply listen to what my mom or any of my siblings has to say. Whenever I am told not to do things, I simply do it for the satisfying point that I am able to do the things they forbid me to do.

One time, our mom told us not to swim at noon, guess what? I did just that! Not knowing that mom will come home that one faithful noon, I was happily swimming. Mad that I disobey her order, I was beaten then and chained at the bed post with nothing but my underwear. Feeling unloved I have cried rivers of tears. My sister being soft hearted as she is released me and told me to go to school since it was still school days. My mom knowing that I am not the type of child who skipped school and probably because she knew that her eldest was kind enough especially to her youngest sibling, went to school and offers me food as a reconciliation. Still feeling hurt, I refuse those things that she bought.

Thinking of those things now that I'm older, and let's just say a little wiser makes me wanna shake my head furiously.

How I wish that I didn't do those things especially to my dearest elder sister. But I guess, that's another story to tell.