A So Called Liliana

I haven't been lucky with my life. So I wasn't surprised when life fucked me over again. I closed my eyes as I drowned and accepted my death.

When I opened my eyes again, there were rain drops falling on my face. It took a while before I understood what was happening. I just guessed I was reincarnated in another body. Like what happens in some novels. I forgot the perfect word for it. Was the word transmigration ot reincarnation? Who cares. It felt a little lucky as the girl I was reincarnated or transmigrated into, was young so I don't have to be much troubled with the past or so I thought.

I am poor, that much could be guessed from my clothing and this area I'm walking through. I need to know my name and home or else it's not much lucky being able to live again. "What story is this anyway?", I kept murmuring to myself.

"Liliane!", a woman keeps screaming until I turn around to see it was me she was calling for. She reached up to me, panting and broke down on her knees, "My child, why are you roaming around here?" Tears were forming in her eyes. I could tell she was worried. She must be the mother and I, Liliane.

I held her hands and walked along to wherever she took me. All I could think right now was, this girl had a pretty name. Her, wait I supposed it's me now. I have long white hair. I will guess I got the curls and white color from her, my so called mother. I have yet to see the father it seems, assuming I look more like him.

It was later that I noticed, she didn't hold my hands tight but loosely which I didn't bother thinking about. But it was strange how you wouldn't hold your child's hand tightly after she nearly got lost. Then again, who am I to judge. I don't know anything about her or me. So, I decided not to overthink this anymore.

After we were home. She took care of me real gently. "Your father's coming to see you today, isn't it wonderful!?", She said out loud. She was awfully.. Like what do I say, awfully ecstatic at the moment. I had yet to know so many things so I just smiled for now. Better to remain silent than mess up.

I felt weak, that's no wonder why, seeing as my hands are skinny. Too much skinny compared to hers. Was I sick, are we that poor or am I the weak one? That's all that came to mind.

She kept talking about this father figure, how he finally came back to his senses and was coming to see his family. The father she kept talking about was his majesty, the ruler of this empire. I get it she thought I was a child who couldn't understand but I wasn't a child inside and I already had so many questions. It wasn't surprising, things like illegitimate child is common, specially in a timeline like this.

It wasn't much long before his majesty arrived. He didn't talk much to my mother and just stared at me. He was obviously tall and big but wasn't that handsome in my eyes. Looks like a middle aged father figure at least, agreeable that he's a king, judging from his appearance. Wait, is he a king or emperor. What's the fucking difference. Shit, I suck at this. Lord? Majesty? Emperor? The fuck do I address him as. I just arrived here. I don't want to die just cause of a misuse of honorifics.

In a few seconds, he starts crying. I'm here trying to choose my life choices carefully but oh damn, someone's sure is carefree. Must be nice to be a ruler but crying sure doesn't suit him right now.

"My lovely daughter! Where have you been all this time?", he hugged me tightly. I just glanced at my mother to see her shocked yet relieved face. I thought he could talk to her too but he hadn't yet.

"What's your name, my love?", he asked. I was kinda hesitant. Maybe she saw that and answered on my behalf, "Liliane... Her name is Liliane.." He looked at her coldly before giving me his all focus. "What a beautiful name! You're definitely worthy of it!" He was joyful. Awfully happy to hear that. This mother and father sure have that characteristic common. I hate them already. He finally shifts his attention to mother.

"Mathel, take her in the carriage. I have some things to do", he said to the person he came with. So it was a lady in that armor, "Yes, Your Majesty." She picked me up gently and we left the house. I wondered what they were talking about. I only heard a little before leaving, "At least you gave her a nice name, Ashley."

I was sitting in the carriage alone with Mathel. It was hard trying to get words out but I tried, "What should I call you?"

"Mathel, Your Imperial Highness."

I nodded, "It might be insolent of me but what do I call... My father? Mother said he's the ruler and I-"

She chuckled. I suppose she didn't mind, considering where I've been living till now.

"Do forgive my insolence, Your Highness. He is the sun and emperor of our empire. His Majesty, The Emperor Arian Ushnott."

"That was long", I blurt out. Mathel holds her chuckle this time. She smiles, " Your Highness don't have worry about this I believe."

I silently give out a sigh of relief. I don't know much but at least for the moment, I'm in good hands. "Mathel, you don't have to be so formal with me. It feels weird to hear the word highness so much. Can't you just call me by my name?"

"Apologises but that would be-"

"Then! How about just Princess?" I don't like this at all. Being treated like this as a kid.

" Alright Your Imperial Highness."

"You're doing it again!"

She just smiles and presses her finger to her lips. I quickly quiet down. The emperor returns. I don't dare try to look at him anymore. I just want to be alone honestly.

...

The wish to be alone sure didn't come true yet. After being gently handled and cared for with a lot of maids, I'm sitting down for dinner with my father and two older step brothers. They don't seem hostile but not much friendly either, which I'm fine with. The food looks appetizing and it sure sucks to know no table etiquette.

"Liliane, is there anything not to your liking?", Father asks. I shake my head. I wish I could be honest or just not care about etiquette. "Then you better finish eating before it gets cold." He smiles. If only you fucking knew what I'm stressing about. Guess I'm just going to have to survive with soup tonight.

He seems to talk a lot. Even in the carriage he talked so much. He talks too much about his mother.... WAIT!

"Uhm.. Father, may I take my leave now? I'm feeling tired", I say as politely as possible. He smiles again, "Of course, go get some rest." The other sure look at me like I'm a different type of creature. Who the fuck cares what they would be assuming about me. Of I don't... (I do dammit)

A maid helps me get down from the chair and guides me to my room. After she tucks me in bed and leaves, I quietly wait and count for a while and get up to check some things. First, I check my reflection. Later on, when I'm sure no one's around the hallway, I get out to see the family portraits hung out on the wall.

I don't see much clearly, even with a lamp but it was enough to make my final conclusion. I hurry back to my room, thanking God that I didn't get lost.

"So I'm that Liliane.. The Villainess from - Sacrificial Tales - who ends up dead within the first few chapters!" I bury my head in the soft pillow. "I'm so so so screwed!"

It was story written by yours truly... It was fucking me! Well, of course what could go wrong with a story that I wrote. Lucky that I wasn't transmigrated to another novel since I have shitty memory. Wouldn't be able to survive for too long. And for once in life that would have been better. I had fucking abandoned this story. I never completed it. I just know Liliane is the first villainess to be killed. I don't know the ending and the character backgrounds. "I just know who I wanted to kill off and the protagonist. A story about a protagonist, who goes insane from being a hero but is saved by the female lead. Only she was his salvation. I know I didn't bother making it easy for him. I didn't even write the part where he got what he wanted either.. More over he's my step brother."

Liliane, aka, I will be killed by my step brother from my mother's side. For neglecting her and being a spoiled brat. That's all I can think about now. "Is this my punishment for not completing that story or am I here for giving her my name.."

First things first, I have to bring my mother here. I wasn't going to be cold hearted like that Liliane anyway. It was all just too suddenly fast paced. A fucking long day.

At least, now I have a heads up on few things. Such as, father decided to bring me back because I resemble his late mother so much. No wonder he kept talking about her! I didn't mean it like this when I wrote such a small detail.

To top it off, grandmother's favorite flower was Lily and mine's Liliane. It basically means the same, "Ughh, no wonder he liked my name too!" I really don't know what to call this behavior of his. At least, one thing for sure that I'm safe until he is alive.

"Lily, you sure are living up to your name."