6 Chapter 4, Expectations

I found Alyce Anjel. She was not what I expected. Expectations. The thing everybody has. But not always what happens. You expect someone to be your friend, but they actually hate you. You expect your mom to give you money for watching your baby brother for ten minutes, but you ask and you get grounded. Expectations. How high were mine? What did I expect? How much did I expect? Too much? Too little? Alyce... I love you, but I will never be able to tell you. You will always be in my heart. I don't know what I expected before or even what I wanted, but that is what I know now. Alyce... We haven't even known each other for a week, but this is one of those love at first sight stories. Alyce... You are my expectations.

Alyce was not what I expected before, but now, she is all I expect from anything. I am not getting into detail of what I found, but it was enough to make me think these thoughts. I believed Alyce. Even though she is four years older than me, and I am 12, she is my everything.

"Senpai... I am so sorry for not fully believing you at first. Senpai..." I wanted to type "You are my everything. I love you so much" but I could not. It was, yes, embarrassing to admit you like someone. Especially if you loved them with every ounce of your being. And it was scary. You would live every moment wondering if you lost a friend. Would you rather keep quiet and stay friends, or confess and have a chance that you will split apart but also the chance that you will bond even more? I choose the first option, so I typed, "I am sorry for calling you a grandma." Then I clicked send.

What was wrong with me? I am just a kid! There is no use falling in love at 12 years old. Said one part of me. But the other said, Go for it bro! You deserve this. Even if you don't tell her, you will at least be able to have nice fantasies of you being together.

A/N: GODD*MMIT! PERVERTS BE QUIET!

You have been through a lot, bro, said the good part of me. The part that thought i should have a relationship. Your old man died, your mom is a slore who married a man who tried killing her, you have lost so many friends from school since you kept moving. You deserve some happiness in your life. And he was right. I deserved this. I have worked so hard only to get rewarded by sadness and dispair. I didn't just want this, I needed this. All this false happiness like video games and books and anime couldn't be healthy without something real. I needed to feel something irl. Not just virtually or in my mind. This feeling has always been foreign until now. I needed to hang onto it. But what was it? Love? Happiness? I didn't care. I just liked it. It was the first good feeling I have had irl in a long time. A very long time.

"No problem. As long as we are still friends"

You aren't my friend any more. You are so much more. Senpai, I love you so much.

"Yup! Still friends!"

Senpai. Thank you so much for giving me this feeling.

"Hooray!!!!"

Senpai.

"Yup! Hooray!"

Senpai.

"Cheers!"

Senpai, no, Alyce. You are my expectations. My hope. My happiness. My love. My everything. Don't die until we meet irl. Don't die, ever. Alyce. I love you so much.