24 Transmission Transfusion II

"Head wounds tend to bleed alot, if we keep making cuts on his head that should take care of the problem of getting the old blood out." The Tinker was thinking out loud.

"I'll finish making the IV delievery system."

"IV like intravenous?" Asked Three

"Nope IV like four because that's the grade of transmission fluid I plan on using Grubworm ain't getting the good stuff. Nurse and esteemed guest your thoughts on the procedure?"

"Doctor and I mean this with all due respect I am not sure your logic is entirely correct. Transmission fluid in a human body? " The expression on the Scholar's face was priceless.

"Shut up Crane Jimbo can fix anything, and I agree with him. We need to bleed out the bad qi but we should replace it with good qi. None of us are deviants right? We are wholesome upstanding members of society. I say we should each give up a little blood to add to whatever cocktail that's going back inside Joe. Blood is thicker than water."

"It's not as thick as grade 4 transmission fluid though Elder. Three already said she was a univeral donor it's idiocy to not to use her blood." The Scholar said to this group of morons around him.

"I'm not letting anyone turn my granddaughter into a blood bag for some jerk you decided to bring in off the street. He can have a drop of mine.Any more than that and it might cause his body to burst into flames."

"If he gets any of mine that would make him my son by Gypsie law. That would cause complications later if I were to have more children who would inherit my title and vast fortunes." Jimbo said with gravitas.

"Does that title come with lands?" The Scholar assumed that Jimbo was full of shit.

"Fine I guess I can worry about the line of sucession later. Count me in for a couple of drops." The Tinker grinned

"I'm not giving him any of my blood." Three was adamant about that. The Tinker had already snuck up behind her with a letter opener and pricked her index finger.

"You sure about that?" Seeing the Elder's scowl Jimbo continued to speak "Relax Bi I think a little from each of us would be fair. As you said blood is thicker than water This way he won't strangle us in our sleep one day when he gets more powerful."

"What makes you think he's going to get more powerful?" Bi asked.

"It's just basic witchdoctor logic here. He has been under severe distress with several near death experiences. The more life and death experiences he has the more it will agitate his genetic potential,and thus allowing for metamorphosis and accelerated growth."

"That sounds like a load of codswallop to me." The Scholar spoke up because he had enough. He took a penknife from his pants pocket cutting his hand in its crease. He held his now bleeding hand over the vessel letting his blood flow freely into the empty oil can.

"Get the damn transmission fluid already so that we can perform the transfusion. If the boy lives I will personally kiss your ass Tinker."

"That ass is an awful hairy Scholar I wouldn't make that declaration easily." The Elder said calmly before biting his pinky nicking the skin with his canine. He squeezed the finger with his other hand allowing just a drop of blood to mix in with the Scholar's.

The Tinker grabbed a few quarts of the transmission fluid from the bottom of a metal shelf he unscrewed the first one then poured it across the blade of the letter opener. He continued with the other quarts until the jury rigged IV bag was almost full. He walked over to his toolbox with ramrod posture and an almost military gait. He tossed the letter opener into an open drawer. He opened the bottom drawer pulling out a Tampas Jack condom box.

"Woah Jimbo what are you doing with that?" Young Three was concerned.

"Relax I'm getting out The Chicken Bone Blade."

"Why?"

"It's used for cutting umbilical cords and circumcisions. Any son of mine better not have a hoody on his woody." Then the Tinker cut his thumb adding his own blood to the mix.

"We need to cut more skin from his forehead and invert him so he bleeds faster."

"I volunteer!You know all in the name of health and science. Can I use your knife Tinker? That way when Grubworm wakes up I can tell him untold generations of Gypsie dicks have touched his forehead!" Young Three sounded like a toddler at Chistmas.

"Well it's used to peel skin of heads. I don't suppose it matter much if the head is the big one or the little one." The Tinker grunted his assent.

"Why is my grandaughter so foul?" The Elder bemoaned to the heavens.

Young Three set about her grisly task.

*Some time later

The vessel was prepped by hanging it on a rope dangling from the rafters. The Tinker shoved the sharpened end of the jet from the carburetor into Joe's jugular. The Tinker ran his greasy fingers up the corroded copper brake line he stopped at a soldered in ball valve then opened it with a pair of adjustable pliers. He looked like a gremiln in the flashing fluorescent lights. " Damn the generator is out of phase or else the ballast is going out in that light fixture." The Tinker cursed aloud.

Joe had went into convulsions that threatened to vibrate the line out of his neck. His body started to emit a black steam. He foamed a sickly yellow color at the mouth.His bleeding stopped and his wounds seared closed. He started to sweat out a thick viscous fluid from his body.

The Tinker went up to Joe stuck his finger in the fluid then tasted it.

"Shit yeah that's grade 4 tranny fluid alright i can catch it in this empty bucket and reuse it. Scholar looks like you'll be flossing pubes from your teeth for the next week!"

Joe's breathing stabilized and his body had finally stopped sweating. The Scholar knew he had been defeated and his vow was made in the presence of the Elder there was no backing out so he dropped to his knees.

"Let's just get this over with so we can take some shots later."

Jimbo walked far away from the others he stopped next to the biggest pile of junk outside when he began to speak the sonorous pitch of his voice changed completely different than any other time he had spoken before.

"I Jimbo son of Claude son of Rayford son of Clovis son of Billy Ray son of Vernon Earl son of Buford son of Big Tim son of Eugene invoke the blessing of The King" The wind picked up outside after he had spoken the last word. The sky turned dark thunder clouds in the distance crashed. A glowing vortex appeared above his head. A dial sounded followed by an old analog ringtone came from the vortex. A digital female voice spoke after the third ring.

"Thank you for calling ...THE KING... is currently unable to take your call. If this is a question about genealogy say 1. If this is asking for an annulment or divorce say 2 For marriage 3 A new birth 4 Anything else that actually requires...THE KING... to be present you are just shit out of luck."

Jimbo was confused as to how to proceed so he chose option 4.

"Health and Records Herman son of Bob son of Jack son of Raymond speaking. Jimbo which one of our cousins did you knock up?"

"Herman I got a bit of a problem. It wasn't exactly a birth but I want to register a name in the Family Tree."

"Ok which one of our cousins got knocked up?" Herman asked. It was common for a cousin that was single to just say he was the father to cover up for another cousin's bastard. It kept everybody in the family happy and nobody had anything to gossip about.

"Well it's not that either." Jimbo explained the story.

"Wow ok I'll figure something out for you. What name should we carve on the tree for him?" Herman was bemused.

"Grubworm."