20 To Become One with Pig and Earth.

El Jefe pulled them both out of the hole with his tail.(Why did he have to cinch down that knot so hard? Shit now my tail is gonna be crooked.)

Misson Complete now we have to prepare the General for his cremation. Take off his boots and check for any other metal on his body then I will load him into the corpse chute.

"What am I supposed to do with the boots Jeffy?"

Leave them by the well I'm sure that the peonage will find a new home for them.

Now that business is taken care of we can take care of some pleasure. I know two old whores that stay close by. They aren't the prettiest but they super enthusiastic.

"My fiancee is waiting on me. I love her so much."

There's blood on your hands right now. You need to need to dance with a devil or two before you can kiss your angel. Think of it as your stag party. You are my younger swine bro. I'll make sure these ladies take care of you.

Joe buckled under Jefe's cajoling.

"Ok if it's my last night of freedom I should abandon all inhibitions. Do you have anymore of that steak? I can't party on an empty stomach can I."

You are right here eat some more. As a matter of fact finish the rest of it. Just slam it down.

"You sure Jeffy? Don't you want any?"

Nahh man taking care of that body put me off my appetite. Those whores are just around the corner.

*Elder's House

"He took two days to break 1 star cultivation?" The Elder asked with his whispy eyebrows nearly touching the ceiling.

"That's impressive Young Three. How'd you make that happen?" The Scholar asked curiously.

"She's been trying to drown proof him the past couple of days from what I can remember. Then she had him chopping down the bamboo like you told her to." Jimbo said this time spitting into a terracotta flower pot.

"How many times did you drown proof him?" The Scholar asked this time taking out a little notebook.

"I can't remember exactly but I brought him back 3 or 4 times.He got tired so I had to give him some pig's blood. That pretty much over charged his batteries so I had to make him do something to try to burn that off. I had him do some basic exercises then he went ass over tea kettle into the pond. He clawed his way back up the slope on his own.He got sick with fever. I tried my best to help him but he was unresponsive then out of nowhere he finally started talking sense it was The Soul Cleansing Sutra."

"Did you forget anything in this story?" Elder asked reaching into his night stand to get a chocolate.

"He puked up quite a bit of mud after I spun him around. Oh yeah after he spoke the Sutra I kicked him in the kidneys until he pissed blood. After that we fought and he stormed off." She deliberately withheld finding the Spirit Stone. She knew that the Elder would take it.

"The boy was pretty loopy each time she brought him back.I think he might have just a touch of qi deviation. I can't be sure until I had a chance to look him over real good." Jimbo was deep in thought.

"Since when are you a doctor Jimbo I want to see your license to practice medicine." The Scholar scoffed.

Jimbo reached into the back pocket of his coveralls pulling out a well worn bifold wallet. He tossed a jade slip onto the small tv table.

"Read it and weep scholar. Not all of us can get into a community college."

The Scholar focused hard after he picked up the card. It read: The Great Getrude the Sadistic confers upon Test Subject #1090 the title of Honorary Witch Doctor after the completion of 10 years as an experimentation specimen.

"I never knew Jimbo. You apprenticed under the hand of such a great master." The Scholar was awed.

"There's so much you studied Scholar but so much you miss completely about people when all you do is spend time with books." The Elder unwrapped his chocolate then put it in his mouth. " Now get the newest potato slaves to Freedom Town take Young Three with you she's stolen enough of my chocolates!"

"I'll go with them we need to find the boy to see how bad he is. I'll need some of that tobacco you bought Elder. I'll prepare the tobacco smoke enema." Jimbo said

"What's blowing smoke up his ass going to do?" The Scholar wanted to learn more about traditional medicine.

"When in doubt smoke it out. That's what Gertrude always did to all of us herbal smoke enemas then face first into the electric eel tanks."

Joe was happily enjoying all of the warmth the two skilled ladies of the evening had to offer. They were everything and more just like Jeffy had promised. They were voracious they ripped his coveralls off with their teeth. Their breath stunk like week old trash though.They began to walk on his back the gel mattress on the massage table was cool to the touch and soothing to his skin.

El Jefe was filming it all his view count hit 12k.

Are we watching this guy getting stomped face first into shit in a barnyard love it love!

/\ What's right about any of this? This pig jerk

/\If he wasn't here documenting this for posterity it would be lost forever. God Bless El Jefe.

Joe was debating the thought of whether he should ask these girls for a condom before they went any further. Fuck it bro I'll raw dog it not like these grannies can get pregnant.

Damned if these girls ain't a tall drink of water I'll never get up there without a stool to stand on. I'll go outside to see what I can find.

It was snowing outside so he felt like making a snowman. He rolled up three different sized balls of snow that seemed to refuse to stack no matter how many times he tried. The just sunk through to the bottom. He gave up then made a snow angel.

*In the cruiser

"Should I cut on the siren?"

"No more siren please."

"I like the siren though"

"Cut the siren on and I cut the wires too close to splice it back in you idjit."

"I got it party poopers. No siren today."