11 The Lumpy Lumberjack

Joe swung that fucking axe almost 5 minutes straight keeping a murderous pace of a swing every 5 seconds. He realized that swinging for the fences was a bad idea. He let the weight of the Axe work for him as he adjusted his angle. His arms were heavy he wanted to stop but the thought of what Young Three called a delightful hell spurred him to keep going. That crazy cunt drowned me 3 times today she made me rub her feet last night. What can be more hellish than that...oh my god she couldn't possibly be wanting me to suck on them toes.

Young Three paused in her work to watch Joe swing faster and to listen to his chanting.

She took a deep breath and enjoyed the breeze. Maybe there is some power in the Soul Cleansing Sutra after all. She was getting hungry that idiot made her miss out on the chance of breakfast too.

She was looking around up in the leaves where the answer to her dilemma had moved in the canopy. From the patch of fur she could see her best guess it was a striped lemur.

She grabbed a piece of bamboo from the pile then snapped off a short piece. She then through it end over end at the lemur a screech was heard then a thump. She went to retrieve her kill when a pig came from the underbrush to snatch it from her hands then the pig took off deeper into the bamboo grove. She ran after it.

Joe had paused for a moment to catch his breath and had saw most of the scene.

HeHeHe not nice when it's your cheeseburger is it Gym Donkey. Well she's gone for the moment I suppose it's break time.

*Deeper in the woods

Shit that hog is fast thought Young Three. It's a good thing I am such an experienced hog tracker. She caught up with the hog quickly.

The hog was a young shoat no notches in his ears or markings on his skin. Fair game so she launched herself into the air and onto it's back.

Its fur was thick and bristly. He smelled of rot and stale sex. She wrapped her arm around the hog's neck cradling his arteries in the crook of her elbow. She contracted her biceps causing the flow of blood to stop. The hog passed out. She snapped its neck. Young Three smiled.

"Nothing better than off the books pork. I really hope that Grubworm isn't fucking off."

* Worksite

Joe was taking it easy on that pile of bamboo stalks. It was almost as good as a purpose built bench nice and springy. He got to thinking that he might be approaching the problem wrong. Sure he was whacking the hell out of the bamboo but that wasn't working. The bamboo was either far too hard or else it was absorbing all of the shock from the axe blow. Although this square as axe wasn't cutting shit. He vaguely remembered from shop class that the whole reason anything cut anything is because it was a wedge. It was the same as trying to put a square peg in a round hole. The only reason that the she beast was able to make it work was because she was just too damn strong.

His further thoughts turned to the roots he saw hanging from the ends of the bamboo in the pile. He smacked the root end with the "axe" it was way softer than where he was attempting to cut above the soil.

He was enjoying his victory when imagery of a saddle, a blindfold, and a riding crop popped into his head. Thoughts of being used as a human pony by Young Three spurred him from his perch and back to work. She did say that this was a farming sect he wouldn't put that past her. He began to dig around the base of the stalk he attempted to cut with his hands.

Young Three had her windbreaker tied around her waist in an attempt to keep it from smelling more like pig than it already did and had the pig across both shoulders behind her head. The pig had emptied it's bladder and bowels upon it's death some of those fluids and solids still clung to it's corpse. Most of that ended up on the ground but a bit of that pungent mixture was resting on her shoulders and some had stained her wifebeater.' Nothing out of the ordinary for a day on the farm.' She was fully expecting for her slave to be sitting on his ass but was surprised to see him at work.

Joe finally had cleared away the earth around the roots were exposed and he began to hammer away at the soft flesh underneath. He could see progress but it was still slow going until he had pulped the central cluster and the object of his ire finally came crashing down.

He was physically spent his arms were dead and he could not lift them to even pick his nose if he wanted to.

Young Three walked into view.

"This little piggy is going to spoil quickly unless we get to work soon. I wish that Jimbo wouldn't have left so soon. We need to get this hog gutted but we have no knife. We need fuel for a fire but we have nothing but freshly cut bamboo. We need to start a fire but we have no matches. How are we going to fix these problems recruit?"

"I can gather dead fall from the ground. That takes care of one problem as for the others First Sergeant I can think of nothing." Joe replied. "I cut down the tree. So what's the prize?"

Young Three grabbed the pig's back legs using the momentum of the pig's weight she threw the pig at Joe so fast he didn't have time to dodge it. 100lbs of dead weight hit him bowling him over; the carcass pinning him to the ground.

"You are the dumbest shit eating recruit that the First Sergeant has had the displeasure of training. Can't follow simple instructions, can't properly drown yourself without help,and you can't even remember that there is no "I" in team. For that recruit you have lost the privilege of under pants. These underpants now belong to the First Sergeant."

She stripped off the last stitch of clothing that Joe had on and left the smelly dead pig on top of him.

"Fir...st Ser...gent man down." Joe wheezed.

Young Three ignored him and began to clear leaves from the ground nearby. She tore the waist band from the underwear and tied it to a bent limb from one of the bamboo stalks making a fire bow. After that she went to the pig and snatched out a clump of fur from the pig. The natural oils that clung to the fur would make excellent tinder to get a fire started. She rolled the pig off of Joe.

"Pay attention recruit. This is survival training.

Your body is beat to shit right now and your brain don't work so I am giving you one job. Find me a small rock. I'll get some dead wood from the ground but I need a rock."

Joe inch wormed his way to his knees fumbling through the loamy soil in hopes of finding a rock he dug and fumbled until he did. It was a small piece of chert about two inches long and maybe approximately as wide. He just prayed to all the gods in heaven and demons in hell that this would mollify his personal demon on earth.

"First Sergeant this recruit has a rock." Joe declared presenting the item in his hand palm up.

"My hero, Grubworm ,you are my hero. That is perfect. You can find a rock such a good boy." Young Three said facetiously.

"THAT looked so much bigger last night. It must be the weather."

"This recruit is too tired to care. It might have shrunk from starvation." Joe joked back.