30 The Heavies

Sylvester adjusted his black tie in front of a golden framed mirror inside of a luxuriously appointed room. His pin striped three piece suit was of an impeccable cut and samite on charcoal in color. His black brogans were tanned from a 6 star black crocodile he had killed himself on safari last year, and were polished to a silky sheen. The last thing he added to his ensemble was a purple juice box lapel pin. He ran a comb through his slicked back greasy thin locks. He would be considered handsome if not for his balding hair and unnaturally perfect smile. His emerald green eyes had no bags under them and his clean shaven face with it's square jaw had no wrinkles 'Not too shabby for 150 years old... Those Bimtix injections did their job. If I can land some organic produce suppliers it might help soften the company image to get some hipster investment capital.'

"Karen when should we be heading south to get to that farmer's market on Mt. Goshen?"

"They don't really have alot of MOCO service out there... It's hit or miss when they are actually getting together but last word I heard was about 2 weeks give or take." Karen responded from another room that was acting as her office. She was hard at work on an adding machine that was constantly spitting out a ribbon of numbers in two columns from it's exit port.

"The locals grow some really good potatoes. Those would make some excellent French fries. They hunt down feral pigs in the area that are known for increasing vital flow through the body. Some other farmers are raising cabbages and making organic saurkraut. If we can get enough together we should be able to start a new hotdog stand in the Bino University area selling what should be cheap eats at a 4 fold profit margin."

Sweat was running down her nose from her forehead as she was trying to juggle text messaging on her MOCO back to corporate headquarters,inputing data manually on her adding machine, reading the 3rd quarter prospectus for the Bino city area,and trying to talk Sylvester theough the Mt. Goshen farmer's market. Her clothes were more modest than the Assistant Procurement director's a simple black pantsuit and some comfortable black clogs. Her suit lacked a company pin. Her red hair was pulled up into a ponytail and was very frizzy at the bottom of the tail. A light splash of freckles dusted her nose and cheek bones. Her warm brown eyes had dark bags under them that were still noticeable beneath the thick layer of concealer where she made an attempt to cover them up. Her black eyeliner was starting to run from the ridiculous heat inside the building. 'That cold blooded asshole. Company policy won't allow me to take off my coat during work hours but he set the thermostatic regulator to nearly 100... how is he not sweating?'

"Sir may I take my lunch break early? I need some of the fresh air to clear my head."

"Should I have the chef barbecue a bear today? Maybe bring you some soft slippers after a bubble bath?...Get back to work number gnome. I got 5 resumes on my desk after your job less than a week ago. I like you Karen I don't want to try to learn a new name."

'My name isn't Karen. She was the administrative assistant that died because he forgot to tell her the castle was airborne as she went down the stairs. She was over 4 hires ago.' Not Karen thought to herself.

"I guess a cheese sandwhich at my desk wouldn't be too bad. May I get some sleep tonight sir it's been 3 weeks?"

"We don't run on union rules be grateful, you are lucky I let you sleep once a month already. I could get a wraith to do your job they don't sleep they don't eat and they don't grumble! The only reason you have a job is because we at Juice Burger pride ourselves on having a 10% human employment rating."

Not Karen meekly nodded her head and went back to crunching numbers. Sylvester gazed out the window from his flying castle as he looked down over the badlands beneath him.

'I wonder if that girl on the bike ever got my 1,000 year old Sage Grass Cheese from the immortal's cave I sent her to. That was the resting place of the sect elder Toe of the Curdled Milk Clan if anyone had good cheese worth cutting it would be them.' He walked towards the walnut paneling on his office wall to a brass speaking tube " Jeeves tell facilities to pour some more oil into the boiler it's getting colder up here. I want to be able to cook an egg on my desk in 3 minutes!" Sylvester was laughing on the inside

'I know her name isn't Karen. The Bimtix injections are going to make it impossible for me to sweat for the next few days that's why I have this ice orb resting against my chest. I don't want to fire her but she's too kind to stay working here I don't want to see her become corrupted. I hope I can get her to quit but she's too damn nice. How do I get her to grow a backbone?'

"Karen do you want some fermented squid pellets for lunch?"

"Sir I think I'd rather eat my cheese sandwhich."

"It's a new product we are working on for feeding orphans and the elderly. I actually need a human test subject to see if it's safe. You are being paid already so why hire a homeless veteran with mental illness right?"

"Should I go get my puke bucket sir?" Not Karen responded with resignation.

"An excellent idea Karen I'll get Jeeves to send up a kale salad with cauliflower. You can have that for desert."