6 Ain't no Rest for The Wicked.

Young Three replied to the Elder with servility "Elder Bi thank you so much for this chance to cultivate virtue, humility and harmony with the earth! I am so happy I want to get started right away! But first doesn't our newest younger brother need his formal attire as well as the Soul Cleansing Sutra manual."

"Such a display of duty today, I leave this young man in your care. As a matter of fact I declare him to be entirely your responsibility."

Elder Bi took a pot from the porch and added as an afterthought, " We need some more of our precious compost brought up here so I can start a new batch of seedlings. Potatoes and carrots for my pork roast. We might kill a pig this month." The Elder finished his speech and turned to go back into his hovel.

"I must proceed back to my research. I will leave first Young Three." Scholar White Tides declared flatly. With that he took off at a fast jog towards the backside of the shack. Clanging was heard was heard and a crash. Then a yowl followed by a thump thump thump.

Joe glanced quizzically at Young Three.

"Scholar White Tides rents out the old root cellar underneath the shack. It only cost him one Costco lemon pepper chicken a week. Scholar is so smart. I wish I lived in a root cellar I have a nice army tent by a pond. The others in the sect live in foxholes with a piece of tin covering them at night. You get to sleep on my floor you are super lucky too!"

Young Three extended her hand to help Joe to his feet. As he was brushing off his pants legs Young Three was scoping out his butt.

"Easy she beast, geeze you beat my face in and now you are thinking about doing butt stuff to me... I'm saving some things for my future wife so back off." Joe couldn't help but lash out the only way he could.

"Not thinking about butt stuff until you mentioned it. Elder did say I own that butt now in case you forgot. So I can do what I want with it. Either way I'm taking you to the Junk Hall. Follow me."

They walked away from the shack to their right. Nothing but the same overgrown shaggy grass in sight that they saw in front of the Elder's house was visible for miles. Joe kept silent and tried to keep pace with Young Three but still seemed to be a half step behind her no matter how fast he walked. Either he was slow or else she had been speeding up. Sweat was starting to roll down his back and crack.

"Hold up slow down a little. I'm not a gym donkey like you"

"Gym... Donkey, You really know how to sweet talk a young lady. I bet you had all the girls drooling back home. I guess we can slow down a bit it's just going to get worse once we hit the Red Dirt Road."

What road could there be out here? Thought Joe to himself we are so far out in the boonies that I doubt they have electricity much less a road. But his doubts were unfounded there was a narrow dirt path cut into the grass. It meandered all over the place.

"Before you ask yes it is a pig trail. We are primarily a farming sect and the pigs almost always follow the same path when we move them." Young Three said nonchalantly. She stopped walking and Joe bumped into her.

She scowled but held her tongue. Then, she continued to speak.

"This is a good spot to rest for a moment. The air is going to get denser and harder for you to breathe. Whatever you do don't stray off the path. I'd hate to see you get eaten by a pig on your first day."

"Wh..y woul...d the air get dens..er?" Joe huffed to catch his breath.

"Because Elder and the Scholar laid down a formation in this area; see those rocks?"

She pointed out to either side of the path. Some were about the size of a man's torso others were as big as a fist. Some closer to the path looked like gravel. They were gray with small flecks of red in the stone.

"Formation might be a bit of a stretch considering the fact that these rocks are overburden from a spirit stone mine that was exhausted years ago. Also no inscriber

performed any calculations to figure out the proper placement for maximum efficiency. They just scattered these rocks willy nilly.

It does my cultivation some good to breathe this air but if you start to feel faint let me know I'll throw you over my shoulders so we can get you out of here quickly I don't want your insides turning into your outsides."

"That can actually happen?" Joe asked with fear in his voice.

"Anything can happen. You should be fine as long as you stay on the pathway. I'll let you hold my hand if it would make you feel better." Young Three was cooing and blushing slightly.

"Think I'd rather shove a spoon down my pee pee hole." Joe rebutted with a mule grin. He figured it was easier to be carried.

The inevitable fist struck his jaw. He blacked out. Young Three grabbed him by his right ankle then proceeded to drag the little skidmark down the road. She let his head hit every bump along the way.

'I know his game. God is he lazy. At least this way when he comes to he's going to have a headache for a while.'

Joe woke up a short while later. Either she's using alot less force or my head is getting thicker. Man does my head feel like a herd of cows stopped all over it. Also why is the back of my head so warm? He opened up his eyes and saw the sky. He looked to the right then ascertained he was moving. He came to the conclusion she was dragging him.

"Hey Gym Donkey, Why am I not riding you?"

"You want to ride me now? What if I wanted to be riding you?" she quipped back salaciously.

"You call me nasty names that hurts my feelings so I thought I'd try to teach you some manners. We are nearly at our destination." Then she let go of his leg.

Joe rolled himself over then to his feet.

He reached up to brush the dirt out of his hair.

The first thing he noticed was all the lumps on his head and the complete lack of hair on the back side of his head. His skin was raw. He felt the breeze in a few places on his back. He turned his shirt around for a quick inspection. There was a little blood on it and some holes across the shoulders. So he took it off.

Young Three was whistling at him.

"I love my boys pasty white. Those little flower buds are so pink I just want to kiss them all night."

Joe tried to summon up some dignity.

"Feast your eyes ogre this fair damsel will never let you feast upon her heart...damn that made me look even more weaksauce."

Young Three let out a deep belly laugh.

"I'd offer you my windbreaker but you'd bleed all over it. It's my best clothes so I'm rather partial to keeping it clean. Junk Hall is just down the hill. I thought I would warn you Tinker Jimbo is pretty odd."

They continued to walk down the trail. Joe just carried his shirt in his hand he figured he would try to get a tan in a hurry it might keep Young Three from making further advances.

As they walked further down the trail he could see a long structure in the distance surrounded by piles of scrap metal and old washing machines. The building had corrugated tin walls and a blue tarp roof.

Piles of black plastic trash bags containing God knows what some piled up PVC pipe and a mountain of worn out work boots with the steel toe caps showing on each and every one of them in view. There was a busted up orange tractor on flat tires.

"Now you know why we call it the Junk Hall. Don't worry all the good stuff is outside. The Tinker keeps the true treasure hanging up on strings,ropes,and chains from the rafters inside." Young Three said with a grin.

A rustling was coming from one of the piles of garbage bags the rattling got faster then a snarl. Joe jumped behind Young Three.

"Relax it's just Petunia."

"Who is Petunia?"

"My Spirit Beast." said a deep voice in a Southern accent from inside of the building.

Out of the building stepped a short tubby man with a big black bushy beard in an orange jumpsuit. He had on a trucker cap emblazoned with the mudflap lady on the front.

He spit out a stream of tobacco juice then walked to the rustling pile. He reached in then pulled out a small skunk.

"There she is Daddy's little stinker." He proceeded to make baby noises and pet the skunk.

"Tinker I have come for some gear for a new potato slave."

"Never come just to visit do you young lady. It's ok so what color dress do you want me to get him?"

"All pretty boys should wear pink. I want him in a blue hat if you have one. If not that can be pink too I guess."

Joe was given a garbage bag. He received a pink nylon robe, a pastel blue sock hat, a handwritten poem in crayon on a piece of construction paper that was supposedly the Soul Cleansing Sutra a cultivation manual, a pair of those work boots he saw outside, a pair of thick boot socks much darned, and a grease stained pair of orange coveralls that were way too big they had Doc written over the right breast pocket in permanent marker.

This had to be the strangest sect he could have ever imagined.

"Now what?" Joe said thinking aloud.

"Now I take you back to my tent so I can ravage you... Then tomorrow you get to clear out some bamboo." Young Three proclaimed as if it was the only conclusion that could be drawn.