A Series of Random Events

My name is Toyota Forklift. Currently, I'm walking down the street. Back from my part time job as a candy salesman.

My white van is in the repair shop so I was forced to walk to and from work.

Suddenly, a portal opened up in the sky and millions of knives came plummeting down. As I ran for shelter, I was attacked by a sentient banana.

I ran for my life.

Then I woke up. I stood eerily still on the street drenched in sweat.

"Not again.."

I was prone to having extremely realistic daydreams. My doctor described it as a mental health issue and referred me to a therapist, but I politely declined.

I also have dissociative identity disorder. But that's not important.

I collected myself and took a step forward.

"What.. is that?"

I saw a fat overweight rotund ginormous man sprinting directly towards me as if I was a freshly baked chocolate cake. I froze in place.

"What do you wa-"

Before I could even finish my question, the man shoved me to the ground. Another man, thin in comparison followed directly behind him.

I screamed in terror as the the stout man took out a book that he had tucked between his folds of fat.

He flipped to a page and began chanting a spell. Within seconds, I had lost all feeling in my legs and arms; it was as if I had lost my humanity.

I was also a lot smaller...

The oversized plump man bent down and picked me up. The thin man behind him wasn't as confident though. He looked.. scared?

I had turned into a ham and cheese sandwich. I contained salami, processed swiss cheese, black forest ham, and expired mayonnaise. All on 2 stale slices of whole wheat bread.

I was slowly brought towards his mouth.

I was about to be eaten, but I was glad.

I hated whole wheat bread.