1 Chapter 1: God's Mistake

Joe Smith a normal everyday man who was your typical closet weeb, living a normal everyday life.

Walking home one fateful night after pulling an unexpected double shift for work because his co-worker was a no show.

He called his boss to try and get someone to come over and relieve him but apparently no one was willing to take the graveyard shift.

He was forced to stay until the next shift started and someone else came.

When the graveyard shift finally ended he was so sleepy and exhausted that he opted to walk home instead of drive to avoid any car accidents.

So with sluggish movements and heavy eyes he made his way through the quite small town.

It would be a few hours until morning light and with his blurring vision and sleepy eyes he was practically walking blind in the dark.

His brain was half asleep and his lack of focus made him ignorant to the danger of crossing a red light.

By the time he heard the roar of a car horn and turned to see the incoming truck which to him appeared out of nowhere.

It was too late and the man known as Joe Smith was dead...

But luckily for Joe his story did not end here for God himself would take pity on accidentally killing the wrong person that night.

As recompense God would grant Joe one wish and the chance to be reborn in another world.

Joe upon learning of his wrongful death was more concerned about his family over the shock of meeting god, who for some reason took the image of a Giant Monitor and System Unit floating out in the middle of space nowhere.

But the monitor comforted Joe by telling him that they would move on and live happy filled lives with it's robotic angelic voice.

With that Joe was able to move past his panic and grief and make his wish.

To be reborn in the Dragon Ball world as a saiyan.

God agreed with a simple "Okay".

and with a flash of light from the monitor Joe was gone...

Age 724

A Saiyan baby is born on Planet Vegeta, thirteen years before it's destruction.

As my consciousness slowly returned I tried to open my eyes and move around but to my surprise my eyelids were heavy and my body felt abnormal.

As if I was submerged in water but instead of sinking I was floating.

I could feel something covering my mouth and nose which I assumed was allowing me to breathe.

I heard distorted beeping noises in the background.

My head was still reeling from the shock of getting hit by a fucking truck!

Shit I tightened my eyes to try and remember what happened next but everything is blank where am I?

Maybe i'm in a hospital? that would explain the beeping noises right? maybe i'm hooked on a machine god I hope my body isn't too fucked.

But the moment I forced my eye's open expecting to see a hospital emergency room that thought was immediately shattered.

What I saw was something starring back at me, something so completely bizarre and illogical that I wondered if I was still dreaming.

It was some kind of alien or humanoid monster its very existence was foreign yet for some reason I found its appearance familiar.

It was a large humanoid face with purple wrinkly skin devoid of any hair with an elongated head that had yellow spots on it and a wide mouth.

It reminded me of a gentle old man and gave off no sense of hostility which helped with the shock a little I guess.

I wracked my brain like never before forcing it to work overtime to try and explain my situation almost to the point where I felt like smoke would start steaming out of my head.

I looked around to observe and take in every detail of the strange environment I was in but I was at a loss nothing even came close to resembling Earth.

It wasn't until the creature backed away from the watery glass screen that I was able to identify its iconic outfit and finally understand my predicament.

With a mixture of wonder and excitement I screamed in my head I AM IN DRAGON BALL! whoa whoa wait wait what!?!? Holy shit!

As a huge Dragon Ball Fan I almost had a nerdgasm then and there.

I wanted to jump for joy and imagined all sorts of wonders.

In my excitement I felt something strange on my lower back wagging, my arms and legs were still immobile but this thing which was freely flowing with the water felt like an extra appendage.

It's a tail! this must mean I've been reincarnated as a Saiyan!

I felt extreme joy at the thought of fulfilling a long time childhood dream of going super saiyan and shooting a Kamehameha wave.

I was bit too distracted and caught up in my fantasies that I did not notice the creature talking until I heard the old Appule lookalike say.

Alien : "Hmm your name is Vocado huh look's like everything checks out normal here."

Vocado as in Avocado? I thought Saiyan's were all named after vegetables? Fuck it this is too cool who cares! I cant wait to meet Goku, Vegeta and blah blah blah....

I spent months inside of this incubation chamber floating and growing until I was toddler sized.

Over time I saw my father of this world drop by for a few seconds to check up on my power level and promptly leave with a disappointed look on his face.

Apparently I had a power level of (5) I was born a low class Saiyan.

Not exactly my desired reaction or power level but fuck it Saiyans are broken with abilities like the zenkai boost.

And with my knowledge of the Dragon Ball world getting stronger should be a piece of cake.

As I was growing I had nothing to do but listen to the old Alien and anyone else who dropped by or occupy myself with my own imagination and the fantastical adventures I could have in this world.

I learned I was born in Age 724 that meant I had some odd 13 years before this place gets blown to shit by Frieza.

Wait in the Manga it was Age 739 that planet Vegeta was destroyed am I in the anime or the manga continuity?

Wait is this GT or Super or is it like a Xenoverse multiverse kinda thing.

I pretty much spent my time rehearsing my knowledge of Dragon Ball to prepare for the future I was so excited I could hardly wait.

My first goal should be getting stronger and traveling to Yardrat to learn the instant transmission an incredibly handy technique that essentially like the name implies is teleportation.

The Z-fighters won't be a thing for at least another forty years so I have plenty of time to get strong before characters like Cell and Majin Buu appear.

As I grew I could begin to move my arms and legs and even my tail more freely now.

I carefully watched the old alien learning its habits and personality thinking of what to say or do when I was out of this thing.

But after another month had passed I got really bored of waiting.

So I started kicking and banging on the glass screen to get that old Aliens attention to let me out.

He looked back at me from all the commotion I was stirring up.

It had a look of surprise before it clicked a button and after a distinct beep noise.

The tube connected to my mouth retracted and the water began to drain.

I wobbly stood on these small child like feet of mine.

The glass split like a door in the middle and disappeared like it was never there.

I took my first few steps outside the incubator and took a big breath of air and started walking and stretching to help adjust to my new body.

My tail was a big help as it acted as a crutch to help me keep my balance.

The Alien was babbling on about something when I cut him off short wanting to get out of this room as soon as possible and explore the world.

Vocado : "Hey! Shut up and get me my clothes old man."

The Alien stood there surprised and shocked as if it had just seen a ghost.

It's dumb expression made me glare at it with disdain I hate having to repeat myself to others especially idiots who can't catch a hint.

Alien : "YOU! YOU CAN TALK?!, How is that possible in all my years I have never heard a Sai-"

Vocado : "Shut The Hell Up! Of Course I can talk! With your non stop babbling every day how could I not learn! now go get me Clothes! Old man."

Alien : "Bu-but i'm a woman."

I spat out the leftover water in my mouth from the incubator in surprise if this is a chick what do the guys look like?

Wait does that mean Appule wasn't even a guy but a girl hmm...

Are they like a weird race of traps or does everyone in there race look male?

I'm getting sidetracked, I shook away the curiosity and walked towards what looked like a closet.

It looked similar to the one where Krillin and Gohan got their armor from during the Namek Arc.

I found a suit similar to the one Nappa wore but I wasn't digging the whole underwear only thing.

So I dug around until I found a blue bodysuit as I was changing I was rudely interrupted by that annoying Alien.

Alien : "Hey um hello excuse me your not allowed to go in there or grab that."

Vocado : "Fuck Off Already!"

I walked out of the room and made my way outside from this place.

I felt unnaturally angry and hostile I hadn't noticed it until now but maybe this Saiyan body is affecting my psychology as well.

After all most Saiyan's are battle crazy freaks so it wouldn't be too far a stretch to guess that their brains are wired like that.

After all if you think about it there a warrior race raised in a culture of being what is essentially a genocidal space pirate.

Vegeta was practically space Hitler on steroids and the only thing that got him to cool off was getting laid by Bulma.

When I walked through the front entrance I was in awe of the view of Planet Vegeta.

The landscape looked to be a mix of the Dragon Ball Minus Manga and the Bardock Movie.

The area area was remote I looked back and noticed that I had come out of a spaceship instead of a building like the one Goku and Broly were born in.

I found it strange but I could hardly get caught up in such a small detail when I was standing on Planet Vegeta.

Alien : "WAAAAIT Please wait! (*pant *pant) you need to (*pant) get back in the ship I need to prep you for departure."

Vocado : "departure?"

Alien : "Yes your set to conquer planet Derth in the name of the great Lord Frieza, you weren't supposed to wake up yet, It looks like I have to send you out earlier than expected."

Vocado : "How long will it take to get there?"

Alien : "It's an uncharted distant planet so at least Five years."

Vocado : "Five Years! You want me to sit in a space pod for Five Years! Hell No I just started walking after months and you want me to sit around with my tail in my hand for Five More Years! Quit dreaming shit stain!"

Alien : "No wait you don't understand its an order you must if I mess this up again Lord Frieza will surely kill me! Please just get back inside so I can send you off."

Vocado : " Again?, you want me to trust you fine then let's make a deal."

Alien : "A deal?"

Vocado : "Yeah I want to choose which planet I get sent too and I'm gonna need some equipment."

Alien : " I-I can't do that"

Vocado : "Sure you can who's gonna notice which planet you send me off too and a few missing equipment surely it's not as important as your life right? ."

Alien : "But I really can't what if Lord Frieza hears about this."

Vocado : "You don't really have a choice either you listen or I'll just refuse to go and, if you try to screw me over and send me to planet Derth I'll come back and rip your spine out when i'm older."

I said with a threatening tone an audible gulp noise could be heard from the Alien it was a total pushover this is gonna make things a lot easier for me.

After a few moments of hesitation the Alien finally caved in and agreed I walked back and entered a pod like the one Raditz arrived on Earth in.

Alien : "O-okay fine but do you even know any planets or where you want to go? You were just born a few months ago how could you possibly deci.."

Vocado : "Earth, send me to planet Earth oh and I'm gonna need some equipment."

Alien: " Equipment but that's..."

Vocado: "Eeeh! You want me to go or Not! If you don't then fine... I guess I'll just stay here and i'll go tell my father to report you to Lord Frieza"

Alien :"No No wait Okay Okay!"

Appula was a trained Doctor graduating from one of the top Universities in the galaxy and was destined for greatness.

That was until Lord Frieza conquered her planet and subjugated her entire race.

Now she is forced to raise and supervise Saiyan children and send them off into other planets to commit mass genocide something which weighed heavy in her conscious.

Despite her genius talent as a Doctor and her strong work ethic, she was born a timid and meek person.

It was due to this that she had developed a crippling level of anxiety the more time she spent with the Saiyan's.

The young saiyan child had only further intensified her anxiety and gave her post traumatic flashbacks.

She was lucky enough to survive her first screw up when she accidentally sent a saiyan baby straight into a star.

She was very grateful that she had survived her first mistake mainly due to that particular saiyan baby being born a lower class warrior so the ramifications were easier to excuse.

She was let off the hook and spared the torture and execution because of the many decades of service to King Cold.

Not to mention her help in efficiently managing the countless saiyan children under her watch over the years.

However the mother of the poor child sent into a star beat her to near death and blew off her right arm.

Which was replaced with a bionic attachment that she covers with a long white glove reaching her shoulders making it unnoticeable.

The glove hid her shame of failing to meet the oath she took as a Doctor to never kill and save all lives.

Appula knew that if she messed up once more even if only slightly her fate would not end well.

As a result of her panic she agreed to the child's outrageous demands.

Influenced by her PTSD and anxiety of what another mistake could look like Appula was not able to think clearly.

I smiled at her reluctant agreement and happily received all the equipment I asked for.

With everything settled I was hastily sent off wearing a reddish scouter eagerly awaiting the start of my adventure.

The space pod had a manual surprisingly with an English translation being programmed into the ship it showed my destination time as: 177 days.

I spent the first day messing around with the scouter as a fan It was hard to describe the thrill and joy of owning such an amazing piece of technology.

A Scouter is a wearable, all-purpose computer that Frieza's army used.

They were mainly used to see power levels and spawned the infamous its OVER 9'000! Meme and were written off as useless.

But these things were actually really amazing they could connect with the pod and were practically portable supercomputers.

I also managed to convince that old Alien to give me an arm blaster like the one Frieza soldiers have and some saibamen seeds.

My power level being low I figured better safe than sorry.

I spent the next few days reading the manual and I found out something pretty interesting.

It turns out this thing has a toilet and food storage I always wondered how Saiyan's could travel in these and not worry about food or basic needs.

The food in question were these small pills that I guess provided enough nutrition to last an entire day as I was only allowed to eat one every 25 hours.

As for the toilet it was just a hole that would open up in the seat and dump out the waste into space.

My body was still small so I was able to lay down instead of sit down when I had to sleep.

When I finally arrived at earth I stopped by the exosphere to think about my next move. Where should I land and what should I do first?

Hmm I had thought about it on the way here but I still had trouble deciding whether I should look for the dragon balls or not but I would need the radar to find them.

If I go meet master Roshi and trained under him it may drastically change the original story too much.

Vocado: "I got it!"

I used the Pod's computer to look for the tallest structure on Earth and found Kami's Lookout! I immediately set the coordinates to land.

The landing might do some damage so I might need to do some explaining and apologize for the wreck.

But nothing ventured nothing gained! As the space pod shot down to earth so began the story of A Saiyan Reincarnation.