3 A Rebirth

Lucy's POV

I could not believe that at the age of 40 I had not fallen in love yet. Of course I have been married before, I must admit that it was the biggest mistake of my life and though the divorce was horrible and must I say I don't even wish it upon my worst enemy, I thank God that after years of feeling broken I finally saw light as to why I had to divorce. We didn't have kids yet and I was thankful for that.

It took forever for me to finally get it. When freedom finally washed over me I had pushed away every male who showed interest in me. I had made them know I didn't want anything to do with them. Some so politely while others in some how harsh way. I have had my fair share of breaking hearts but I wouldn't say mine had ever been broken because I never fell in love.

I was beginning to think of myself as some kind of a monster; heartless maybe. Why couldn't I fall in love? Was my heart that much damaged? Is it even repairable? Will I have to spend the rest of my life alone and miserable? The thought of all these had made my already restless heart even more restless. I pondered over this and realized the cry of my heart was simply just to fall in love before I grow old alone.

Though I was actually 40 years of age my physical appearance was that of a 30 year old even less. Many people have always wondered if I was telling the truth when I said I was 40.

As I was walking down the road, absent-minded while pondering over why I never fell in love, I suddenly saw myself flying over the road. Excruciating pains engulfed my body as darkness creeped in.

I fought hard not to close my eyes. I saw a face of a woman I didn't know, tears streaming down her face. "Please let's take her to the hospital, she is bleeding to death!" another voice sounded.

'Death? Am I dying? Nooooo! I cannot die yet. I want to experience love. God, gods or goddesses, moon goddess whatever powerful being out there, please don't let me die like this!' I screamed with all my might as I felt more darkness engulf me. 'I guess that's it, this is my end!' I sighed as I breathed my last.

Have you ever believed in taking back the hands of time? Yes it happened to me. I guess my desire to finally fall in love was so strong that the unthinkable happened. I guess some higher power out there finally heard my prayers.

The surprise that nearly choked me to death again was that the following day I woke up having gone back in years. I was a 19 year old sassy, loudmouth, very outgoing, pale in complexion girl with extreme brown curls and brown eyes, who had just been accepted into the University to study Sciences and Mathematics.

Flashbacks

Talk of slashing of 21 years of my life, but do you know the weird part of everything? I get to keep the old memories of myself; uh huh! How weird is that? Was I given another chance by God or fate to make things right?Was this an indication that I had messed things up at that age; at 19 to be precise?

I remember that I had a crush on this other dude in my past life at Senior High School. He was the most handsome guy I had ever laid my eyes on he was tall, light in complexion, of mixed race but he was more on the lighter side. I guess he emulated one of his white parents. He had short brunette hair, blue eyes and was very athletic. Actually he was an athlete, he was more into marathon and I guess that explained his body build.

He was a quiet and respectful young man he did not look down on anyone like most handsome and popular young men in high school did. He was my classmate. By then I was just a thin pale looking girl and Oh so if you're wondering, I am not white I am not mixed race, I'm black. I was a very thin girl and unattractive, or so I thought.

I suppressed my crush and my feelings for him because I was a religious person. I never had the opportunity to let him know that I liked him. I thought of him all these years as they went by, from high school to University. We only met once at the University and I was so happy that he recognized me even though it was just a Hi in passing.

Our high school was in a small town and moving from a small town to the city where life is very fast, I guess we couldn't stop to chat a bit but I was happy that he acknowledged me. Though I was a little heartbroken that he may not have known that I liked him. Many years after high school I still thought of him but of course I was still the religious girl that I knew he knew me as. I began to wonder if I really didn't mistaken love for just a crush. Why was I so hung on this guy? Was I perhaps in love with him?