1 The god of head pats (oh and accidental apocalypse I guess)

(AN: so I just want to make it clear right now I have very little creativity and originality so I'm probably gonna end up copying things from other sources on purpose or unconsciously.)

So you know when you find a genie lamp and ask for more wishes? Normally it is supposed to laugh and give you an extra wish or say you can't wish that. Sure cliche but gotta try my chances after all being the closet otaku nerd with a worthless existence I have to milk every drop of work free power to start gathering my harem, or maybe I'll just cuck others I'm not sure yet.

Well, the big blue stereotypical genie didn't do that, instead, it went with the most energy-efficient means of generating power for a wish. Consuming human souls all 7.8 billion people on the planet granting me a grand total of 11 wishes with 1 being spent. I am kinda a little guilty but then again I didn't care about like 99.999% of the population just my mom, stepdad, nephew, niece, and my half-siblings. So like 6 people. I asked how many it would take to bring back like half the population (because Thanos did nothing wrong) but the genie said that one wish per person his explanation basically simplified into it is a lot easier to eat a hamburger than it is to shit it out then return it back to the cow it came from. Which is also dead.

The last 0.2 billion of humanity for the 8th extra wish came from plant life and animal life making earth a nice and completely uninhabitable wasteland. With no choice but to continue moving forward as I have ruined any prospects of home, it is time to make 10 stupidly overpowered wishes and go world-traveling cause this place is dead AF.

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Pacing back and forth I don't turn to face the genie "So I can wish for anything." I would describe myself but it is easy to already picture I'm basically the thumbnail for ugly bastard but unlike the ugly bastards of hentai I don't have a large dick (for now). The genie rolls its eyes "Yes. Ask for anything and I will give you it to the best of my power with the resources available to me." I stop and turn to him looking him in the eyes "My wish is to be the god of head pats!" I know kinda a waste but hey man I got plenty of wishes to waste might as well get my foot in the door with my future harem. Everyone knows that the best harem protagonist got the bitches being jealous of other bitches getting the pats. That was the idea at least as he snapped his fingers I quickly blacked out.

Upon waking up I looked around and found myself next to a huge public swimming pool filled with black guck, and in my infinite wisdom, I touched the stuff and found it to be sticky and smell like what I imagine the sewage treatment plant smells like. "Be thankful for this one's benevolence in washing that stuff off as it offended even my nose. You are now a 3rd generation precursor level god with domain over 'head pats' your newfound divinity cleansed your body and soul of impurities which now lay in this pool. As a 3rd generation precursor you are higher than fate the 4th generation precursor and below me a construct on the level of a 2nd generation precursor. Also as a sub-domain of massaging to support your foundation."

Being a god you would think I'm amazing power full but I'm actually just at the peak of what a human is possible of due to a lack of any special or supernatural training methods but I can feel the untapped potential, on the bright side though I'm no longer fat or ugly. Hell my dick got bigger too which is naturally the most important piece of information in any fanfiction as where I was a pitiful 3.5 I'm now a decent 7 inches with my body fat gone sliming down my crotch releasing the snake beneath the rock. Looking at myself with my phone's camera I would call myself an 8 maybe a 9 out of 10 but not godly. 'Maybe I need to be a god of beauty or something to get the whole unnatural super handsome looks'

The biggest change I found that happened to me was when I go to head pat myself (because no other living thing is on this planet, gotta test on myself) and I basically entered ultra instinct for patting as the experience of every pat past, present, and future of all existence flow through my mind. I feel so safe, comfortable, and happy in my own god damn hand going so far as to even completely relax getting rid of any knots in my muscles like I got a full body massage.

If I were not the god of head pats I would have lost myself in my own embrace 'Man that is dangerous, gotta hold back or I might get some Yandere chicks in my harem just to feel my hand upon their head. Might even just cut my hand off any wear it like a hat.' "Ahem, my next wish is a multiverse traveling system." Another snap this one doesn't knock me out or do anything flashy I just get a little dot tattoo on the back of my left wrist that when I focus on or tap will make a screen appear in my vision. The genie chimes in "Just so you know the system is limited to knowledge of universes that you at least somewhat know about otherwise you would be staring a near-infinite list of random universes with titles like fanfic universe, boogeraids-aidsbooger, and prototype_abandoned_ItachiSexGod." As he lists off some examples I can see the list of universes expand and as expected all three pop up on the list of available options but I'm not touching the 2nd one 'I don't think I have big enough brain to understand that universe'.

"Next on the list is class cards from fate" with a usual spiel of giving me the whole heroic spirit servant in the card, being able to do a complete install, and making sure I can never lose them. Quickly listing out my choices for the 7 standard classes he snaps his fingers and the gold cards get sent flying into my soul as metaphysical objects bound to me or my decedents. I think it is a side effect of my wish, the magic energy in the cards, or something else but upon getting the cards I have a basic understanding of my magic circuits and Prana. I do notice the caster is not who I asked for though.

It was easy to unlock my circuits but took some time to complete which was understandable I guess since my divinity granted my physical body the potential to grow and adapt to any ability along with improving my soul on a level unmatched. Unlocking the circuits was relatively painless outside of some dull aches and a slight increase in body temperature. My circuits have a quality of A rank and a quantity of 100 circuits which I think is technically EX rank but I've never fully understood how parameters work other than A is like 50, but naturally, as an otaku, I see something I like but don't understand I still want it. On the other hand, it seems that since I don't have any relation to magic, the soul, or supernatural as far as my divinity goes my circuit count and quality is not as high as it could be but still outputting an impressive 5k of magical energy about 5 times more than Rin Tohsaka. Though I feel as though my circuits have a high potential and the possibility to both increase in number and quality depending on my choices and methods of growth with my literal god-level potential, that is a thought for another time though. "Why did you change the identity of Caster?" I ask cause I keep getting flashes of information and knowledge about magecraft from the card. "Oh well, that is because you seemed quite indecisive on caster's identity and so I saw fit to replace him with an alternate version of yourself that joined the counterforce." The Genie replied nonchalantly examining his blue fingernails.

I... am okay with that. Doing a real quick install of caster I get a glimpse of another me who got a similar opportunity to world travel and get wishes but he was a bigger nerd for the nasuverse (which the knowledge of seems to be missing for some reason) than me so he ended up there got really good then accepted the invitation of Alaya going so far as to use mage craft to tan his skin and make his hair white permanently to look more like heroic spirit EMIYA. He despite knowing how shitty being a counter guardian is, did it anyway because he is that much of a fucking dedicated weeb hoping to one day be summoned for the fourth or fifth holy grail war though admittedly he somewhat regretted the decision after everything he had to do under Alaya getting his own set of dead eyes that while not on the level of Assassin Emiya is close. His favored fighting style involved using ice-based mage craft getting to a level that in raw power overshadows Todoroki and in precision can be used to freeze a target on the cellular level (target size and accuracy). His noble phantasm is a short sword [Big Freeze] while an underwhelming name is kinda stupidly strong representing the mastery of ice to a level that rivals the eventual heat death of the universe allowing it freeze and shatter almost everything and at the same time being stupidly dangerous to use considering he can only handle it for a max of 1 minute before he might accidentally kill himself with frostbite. When I haven't called its true name it is an extremely cold blade that is easily replaced with a little bit of prana and prevents bleeding out by freezing the immediate area good for slowing down and keeping opponents alive.

'I'm beginning to think I have a thing for dual wielders what with picking Archer EMIYA and now this.' "Next I want the power, knowledge, and experience of Roxas from all the kingdom hearts games." I probably would have asked for Kazuto or Kirito but I don't think besides his skills in swordsmanship would apply outside of SAO. One snap later I feel offended on behalf of Roxas considering his existence was basically stolen from him and if not for stupid time travel and Disney plot armor making everything turn out okay in the end. 'Good thing I didn't ask for his ego otherwise I would have ended up an way too easily forgiving goody two shoes.' from my knowledge his style and level of power on par with Sora's Final Form and with what little knowledge is still swimming in my head from caster is saying is about the level of a B+ Rank servant especially considering some of the ridiculous shit that is done like cutting apart entire buildings or matching blows with Hercules and titans though I think KH herc is definitely weaker than fate Hercules. The dark corridor will be nice since I can't use the system to teleport in each world, only from universe to universe or dimension to dimension? I don't know. One interesting tidbit is that apparently that power systems of different universes all come from different pools of power in the soul and don't mix unless you choose to do so while wielding those powers. So my magic from Roxas is completely separate from my od and if I use all of my mp it will not stop or drain into my od which is nice considering if I use all my Od or other powers like chakra I'll die.

"Let's see... head pat, system, class cards, and Roxas making 4 wishes so 6 more to go. Oh, gotta keep under the radar. I wish for the ability to hide and seal my true power level as I please for my 5th wish." *Snap* huh pretty easily used all I gotta do is think about it or use my system to seal each power and down to a certain level until I choose to up it and no one can detect power I put off unless I choose to let them like a whitelist, though technology made for detecting the energy it puts off when in active use can get around this seeing as it only targets sentient beings, not x-ray machines so they could see the circuits in my body. This can also apply to other people I choose with is nice little bonus considering my next wish.

"For wish number 6 I want the ability to gift anyone powers from other worlds." Okay, my reasoning is that some things you have to be born with you can just start training or cultivating while others can be taught such as quirks compared to well cultivation manuals. One snap later it seems I want to have them unconscious because it will be quite painful if they are awake and moving, also I have to have the power myself before giving it to them so I can't gift someone a quirk before I get one myself. For them, though the thing I gift them can be a little random being one part luck and one part subjective like if I gave magic circuits from fate or aura from rwby to Izuku in bnha he might get more than normal because of the spirits contained inside one for all. interestingly enough I can give someone else the multiverse traveling system not that I plan on it otherwise bitches may become wise to just how many hoes I got. For real though I'd have to manually teach them all the possibilities and then I gotta worry about time because it pauses my current universe whenever I go to a new one excluding a little time skip option no backward though, so if I start inviting people to join me I have to worry about juggling different events and timelines.

'Hmm I can't think of anything else right now and I gotta practice with these cards for a little while.' "Can I save my last three wishes in my system and redeem them whenever I please?" The genie thinks for a moment then says "Fine but if you die a wish will be consumed to save your life understood?" I nod my head and the genie satisfied disappears into the black dot on my wrist since I assume he has to be in it to cash in my wishes later. Getting rid of pointless thoughts I start looking at the multiverse traveling system to pick a world to travel to. I'm also considering should I count on Archer's, saber's, rider's, or caster's class card. (Respectively EMIYA, Arthur proto, Achilles, and my counter guardian) Last but not least should I transmigrate or reincarnate, the system says it will not change the person I reincarnate into's looks besides hair and eye color and in a few small cases body type so I should look like me with black hair and dark brown to mistakenly black eyes.

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