5 Newcomer?

A few days have gone by, Natasha being here has benefited me in ways I couldn't imagine...I don't have as many nightmares now. She also helps me in understanding modern culture. Which I'm still struggling to figure out..

We were sitting on the couch when she got a message.

Looking at her phone she smiled and stood up. "Give me a second."

I raised an eyebrow at this, she seemed excited but I had a bad feeling. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She said casually, giving me a reassuring smile.

My heart stopped when I heard a knock at the door. I held my breath, scared of who or what was behind it.

Natasha walked to the door. She opened it but not all the way. She spoke softly, I couldn't make out what she was saying.

I stood up. "Natasha? What's-?" I gasped when I saw who was behind the door.

It was Steve, he was holding a large box. He looked at me and we made eye contact, he looked at me like he had seen a ghost.

I stepped back and sat on the couch, to shocked to say anything. What was he doing here? Why was he here?

Natasha looked at me, giving me a I'm-sorry look before she opened the door all the way, revealing Steve.

I stayed quiet, staring at him. He looked at me with sad eyes and I had to look away. I knew I probably should have said something but I didn't.

Steve sat by me, the tension grew until finally I couldn't stand it anymore.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, fumbling with with a loose string on my sweater.

"I wanted to see you." He looked at me. "I want you to know that I can help you. Things will go back to the way they were-."

"Things will never go back to the way they were." I frowned. "I'm not him Steve." I finally brought myself to look at him. "I'm not Bucky Barnes. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. I will never be able to be him knowing what I did to you, to Natasha, to your friends, to everyone who isn't here because I killed them." I looked away, tears pricked my eyes, the memories flooding into my mind.

Steve put his hand on my shoulder, I became tense from his touch, surprised at his gesture. "I'm sorry...I should've been more considerate." He gave a small sigh. "I want to help you get through this though. If you'll let me."

I shrugged, unsure. Should I let him into my life? Would I regret it? I didn't regret it with Natasha..so maybe? I didn't want to push anything. "You can visit whenever you like?" I said more as a question since I still didn't know if I wanted to see him again.

I didn't want to draw to much attention either. I mean..the whole world already knew about me, and if word got out that I was hanging out with Captain America and Black Widow, H.Y.D.R.A. would be all over me.

"I can do that." Steve smiled at me and I tried to fake a smile.

"Okay.." I sighed.

"What do you remember about me?" Steve asked after a moment of silence.

I stayed silent for a second, trying to gather everything I knew. "Well...I remember you watching me as I fell off the train." I quickly regretted saying that, since even for me it wasn't the best memory to mention. "I remember you getting into a fight..you were getting beat up so bad. I had to run in and beat the other guy up for you." I chuckled softly. "Then when your mother died..I remember telling you-." I stopped talking, because the words I told Steve when his mom died was probably not going to stay true to me.

Steve looked at me, expecting me to continue. When he realized I wouldn't say anything else he spoke. "You really remember all that?"

I nodded. "Yeah.." I remembered that and more...I wanted to say.

"I can see you've been holding up pretty well." He looked around, studying the apartment.

"Yeah. It hasn't been all that bad with Natasha here." I shrugged.

"That's great to hear." Steve smiled. "I'm really happy I got to see you."

I didn't really know what to say so I just gave a small smile.

He stood up and looked at the box that was by the door. "I brought that for you. It was Natasha's idea, but I hope you like it."

I thanked him and watched as he left, saying goodbye to Natasha. Once he left I grabbed the box,taking it to my room as I began to open it.

Natasha had knocked on the door and came in. "Hey...I just wanted to apologize about Steve. He wasn't really supposed to come over here, it must of been awkward..I'm sorry." She frowned.

I looked at her and shrugged. "It wasn't a big deal." I lied, it kind of was. I didn't know why I agreed to him being able to come over. I could see the disappointment that I was trying to avoid each time I looked at him and it was gnawing away at me. But I had to try and push it away for now.

"Thank god.." she said with a breath of relief. "I got so worried thinking you were mad at me."

I shook my head, smiling. "No it's okay really."

"Do you mind if I sit?" She asked, coming inside.

"Sure." I said as I focused my attention on the cardboard box that was in front of me. I opened it, looking inside there were a lot of envelopes, smaller boxs, and something that was wrapped in bubble wrap. I took out three of the envelopes and opened one of them.

The first one was a picture of me back then with Rebecca and Steve. Rebecca was sitting on my lap smiling. Steve, who was surprisingly super short and skinny, was sitting next to me. I would've never guessed that skinny boy in the picture would turn to the man I saw a few minutes ago.

"The box is filled with your belongings. Steve had gotten them from Rebecca. I had asked him to bring them here since I thought they might bring back some memories." She smiled. "I hope you like it."

I smiled, hearing her words. "I love it. Thank you so much." We looked into each other's eyes, I could feel the heat rising in my face. Looking at Natasha, her cheeks were turning red. I cleared my throat, looking away.

"Y-your welcome.." she gave an awkward smile and looked down.

I tried to keep myself focused on my belongings and tried busying myself by looking through the pictures. They helped me for sure, a few of them brought back pleasant memories...but I couldn't stop looking at Natasha, who was looking at the pictures as well. God, she was breathtaking..

Natasha noticed my staring and raised an eyebrow. "You okay?"

I looked away,embarrassed. "I'm fine." I said quickly as I forced myself to focus.

There was another picture that stood out to me. Interestingly enough, I wasn't in the picture. It was Steve and his mother. What was her name? I closed my eyes, trying to remember..

Sarah. That was her name. I smiled, Steve looked happier in that picture, happier than I could ever remember.

I put the pictures away. I still had a lot more to look through but I would save that for another time. I took out a velvet bag, opening it, a small dog tag fell out of it. The dog tag had my name imprinted on it and my military number on it as well. I put the dog tag around my neck and Natasha smiled.

"Did any of it help?" She asked.

"Yeah. A few pictures helped me.." I smiled back. "Thank you again. If there's anything I can do let me know.."

"I don't need anything in return. You getting your memories back is enough for me."

I smiled even more at her comment. How could she be so...so perfect? "Whatever you say.."

"I'm gonna make something to eat. Want anything specific?" She asked, getting out of the bed.

"No. Whatever is fine." I watched as she left and looked back in the box, seeing something wrapped in bubble wrap. I took it out and ripped through it, eager to see what was inside. My eyes widened in shock as I saw my old army uniform. I traced my fingers along the seams of the old fabric. I folded the uniform and put it back in the box.

I walked to the kitchen to find Natasha putting two plates of food on the table, she looked up at me and smiled softly.

For a reason I didn't know..I could feel my heart pounding as she looked at me, I gave a small smile back and sat down in front of her. I took small bites of the mix of chicken, potatoes, and broccoli. It tasted better than anything I could remember. "This is really good."

"Thank you." She replied, looking at me. "I just wanted to apologize about Steve again..I should've tried to talk to him or something." She frowned, picking at her food.

I looked up at her and shook my head. "Natasha it's okay.." I said, trying to reassure her. "You've done so much for me, you're helping me even though you get nothing from it. I have no reason to be mad at you. What happened was an accident and maybe it might be a good thing that Steve is going to be sticking around."

Natasha smiled. "Well..I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I kind of owe you my life." She got more quiet as she spoke, her voice trailing off as if she was remembering something.

I had no idea what she was talking about. What did she mean she owes me her life? It was probably something that happened in the past. Another memory taken away from me...