6 A Brother's Love

Mom? Dad?

They couldn't really be gone... could they?

The sharp smell of incense jabbed at Ai Jing's nose. In that bare, white room, the only light came from a single lamp hanging from the ceiling, and the sounds of sniffling and quiet sobs hit her in an endless stream. Though her vision was blurred with tears, she did her best to focus on the pair of portraits sitting on the altar. She hugged her little sister.

"Miaomiao…" she whispered.

At only four years old, Miaomiao was far too young to understand what was going on. Even so, she was able to sense the anguish in her older brother and sister, and she too was bawling, cradled in Ai Jing's arms. It made for a heartbreaking scene.

Even Ai Jing could hardly believe that any of this was actually happening. At thirteen years of age, she had only just started secondary school, and matters of life and death were still far beyond her grasp. Only her brother seemed to fully understand the situation – though he wasn't crying, he was staring at his parents' poorly-made coffins with a tortured gaze.

Though they'd been happy together, their little family had never been financially secure. And now…

"Ai Wen, come with me for a moment."

It was their uncle, their mother's older brother. A middle-aged man, he had always had a tired look about him. In the few days since the accident, he had appeared to age a few years more – he was so exhausted now that it seemed as if he might topple over at any moment. His voice was trembling as he spoke, and he placed a hand on Ai Wen's shoulder.

"Nephew. I need to speak to you about something."

"Is this about my sisters?"

Their uncle was silent for a moment, his frown widening. He answered in a grave tone.

"Yes, it is."

"Then there's no need for us to talk, uncle. I know exactly what you want to tell me. What you want to ask of me."

"Ai Wen, it's for your best…"

"No. I refuse."

Their uncle nervously rubbed his temples. It was clear that he wasn't thrilled to be having this conversation either, and he glanced pityingly at Ai Jing and Miaomiao. Ai Jing didn't have any idea what was going on, though she could feel the animosity radiating from her brother.

"Ai Wen… I know you don't want to talk about this right now. But since the entire family is gathered here, this is the best time to reach an agreement."

"Sorry, uncle," he said matter of factly.

"There will be no agreement."

The older man hesitated before deciding to concede defeat.

"I see…"

He scurried off, back towards the side of the room where the rest of their extended family was gathered. He went up to a little old woman, Ai Jing's grandmother on their father's side, and whispered into her ear. She scowled. After giving their uncle a few words – choice ones, apparently, as the man shuddered as he heard them – she made her way over, her cane clicking ominously against the tile floor.

"Ai Wen."

"Grandmama."

Ai Jing noticed her brother tense up. Their grandmother was the matriarch of their entire family, and she was far more assertive than their uncle was.

"What do you intend to do, child?"

"I'm going to drop out of school, grandmama. I'll find a job and–"

"You will NOT!"

The entire room seemed to reel at her sudden outburst – Ai Jing could have sworn that even the walls were shaking in fear. Miaomiao let out a terrified yelp, and she buried her little face in Ai Jing's blouse. What was going on?

Their grandmother was staring at the two sisters with a strange look in her eye, one that Ai Jing couldn't understand. As the two little girls cowered, their grandmother took a deep breath and turned to address their brother again.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ai Wen. You're only eighteen. Do you think this is what your parents would have wanted? With you and your good grades, for you to simply give up your future?"

Ai Wen was silent.

"You're their only son, Ai Wen. In fact, in this family… You're the only son in your generation! Your father was an only child. Do you understand how much this family is depending on you? It falls on you to carry on the family name."

Ai Jing looked up at her brother, wide-eyed. Though her eyes were still wet with tears, she was no longer crying. Instead of sorrow, she was now being gripped by fear. She was beginning to get a sense of what was going on.

"Grandmama. I will not abandon my sisters. Never in a million years would I–"

"Ai Wen!"

She said the two words of his name with finality, like she was putting her foot down.

"There are systems in place to care for orphans, so you don't need to worry. In just five years, Ai Jing will be eighteen. And Ai Miao still has fifteen years until she reaches adulthood. If you choose any option other than foster care, she'll grow up without parents. Is that what you want for her? Not only that, but you don't have the means to care for them and send them to school, Ai Wen. No one else in the family can afford to take them in either, so this is the only reasonable way. Listen to me."

Ai Wen shook his head, violently.

"No. I'll raise them."

A moment passed as their grandmother stared at him.

"Your parents left you nothing. You have almost no savings, and you'll be run out of your apartment within a few months."

She shifted her gaze to Ai Jing and Ai Miao. Unlike their uncle before, her eyes were hard. Uncaring, almost.

"I told your parents that they couldn't afford a second child, let alone a third. But they didn't listen to me. They never listened to me. Your father knew full well how poor the rest of his family was. We were counting on him to become a doctor, to provide for the parents who had once provided for him. But no… he abandoned his career for love."

Some of the three siblings' family members, those from their mother's side of the family, shifted nervously where they stood.

"And then your father decided to move into the city, finding a dead-end job that could barely keep your family fed. And now look! Now they've both gone and got themselves killed in some accident. Don't make the same mistakes your father made, Ai Wen. Look at them. Instead of leaving behind something their son could use, they've left him with–"

"Stop!"

Ai Wen cut her off before she could finish, and a gasp echoed around the room.

"I know you don't mean those words, grandmama. Please, don't say anything more… I know you're going to regret it."

Except for the soft cries of Ai Miao, the room was quiet. And then, their grandmother's face, so hard and expressionless up until that point, finally broke. Her voice was much gentler when she spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Ai Wen… I just. My son…"

"I understand, grandmama. I miss my father too."

"I..."

Without another word, their grandmother turned her back on them. She began to make her way out of the room, and again, her cane clicked as she walked. This time, however, the tapping was far more hurried, and it was accompanied by the sound of the old lady trying futilely to suppress her racking sobs.

As she walked out of the door, a number of the others in the room quickly went after her.

When everything had settled again, Ai Wen turned to his little sisters. To Ai Jing, who was still cowering fearfully, and Ai Miao, huddling in Ai Jing's arms.

He wiped at his eyes with the back of his sleeve. His facade had collapsed. He'd been doing his best to look strong in front of his sisters, but he could no longer hold back his tears. As the others in the room silently watched, he put an arm around Ai Jing, pulling her close.

"I'll protect you, little sis."

He kissed her on the head.

"No matter what, I'll protect you."