Chapter 10: Morning greeting I

"Niang niang, Emperor Li Shan has arrived for his morning greeting." Lady Yang informed Empress dowager Ruyi who was still having her hair combed by one of her palace maids.

"Alright, have him enter the room." Empress dowager Ruyi instructed, not rising from her sitting position in front of the mirror.

Lady Yang went out and not long after, the now 5-year-old emperor Li Shan entered with his Chief Eunuch.

As routinely practiced, Chief Eunuch Jing put down a hassock covered with yellow silk before Emperor Li Shan kneeled on it. After kneeling for a moment, Li Shan got up and stood on one side to wait for Empress dowager Ruyi to make her remarks.

Empress dowager Ruyi observed Li Shan's reflection on the mirror. As usual, his face showed his reluctance to be there and his eagerness to leave.

She sighed. Yesterday, she was informed that Li Shan had the eunuchs in his palace flogged. Normally, such occurrence would not warrant any special attention. However, after some investigation, she came to know that yesterday was not the first time it happened. In fact, in the last few months, such event has become so common that it happened almost every other day.

For a child who only turned 5 the other month, such cruelty and sadistic nature should be hampered immediately. Yet, how can she simply barge in and take control of his discipline, or lack thereof, when he was the emperor?

After empress dowager Cixui's death, deceased emperor Gongxu's faction took the opportunity to turn the tides. Using the imperial edict bestowed to her to become the primary mourner, she has been barred from court politics and Prince Zaili was then given the position Prince Regent.

Although that was the case, she had no qualms in relinquishing any hold on power she might have had. In the first place, she very much understood her own limitations in the realm of politics outside the inner court. Second, she never wanted to follow the footsteps of her aunt again.

Prior to marrying Gongxu, she has been so much awed by her aunt's majesty that when asked if she were to choose between her aunt and her future husband, she readily answered that she would follow her aunt. With that, she was chosen to marry the emperor.

She did not know exactly the consequences of her words at that time, but want it or not, she had to live by them every single day since then. In the process, she abandoned her values, morals, and even her dignity. All for the sake of chasing her aunt's shadow.

As days turned to months, and months into years, the initial sense of gratification loss its charm and then, there was only emptiness.

She reflected on herself, revisited the Confucian teaching of the three obediences and four virtues she once abandoned, and tried to live by them once more. From that point on, perhaps it was fate, or maybe it was the timing, but her relationship with Gongxu improved.

Love began to blossom.

Slowly, the emptiness inside her was filled. She found contentment, satisfaction, inner peace, and joy. Things she never grasped as she followed the footsteps of her aunt.

After over a decade, she realized that chasing majesty was futile. Majesty was indeed beautiful, it was adorned with gems and precious stones, but it was only an illusion of true happiness.

Nevertheless, she realized it too late. Her misdeeds cannot be hidden forever, nor can they be undone. Thus, as everything unfolded, she can only swallow the bitter pill of regret.

Anyhow, those were her rationale on the matter of regency. Meanwhile, her father, the de facto chancellor, was another story entirely. He tried to repel that decision, coming up with counter arguments and what not. However, no matter how eloquent his words were, they were useless. For it was she, herself, who wanted to take a step back and let Prince Zaili become the prince regent.

Since then, she has no idea what her father has been up to for she has decidedly spent her days inside the walls of her palace.

Now, as empress dowager Ruyi, she has become one of the symbolic mothers of Emperor Li Shan (the other 5 comprised of the consorts of the last 2 emperors. Li shan was adopted as son to both Tangzhi and Gongxu with the basis that both emperors were of the same generation). However, she did not have a close mother child relationship with him. As commanded by tradition, Li Shan lived separately from all his symbolic mothers so that they would not have too much influence on him.

Thus, for her to attempt to discipline him… won't that make him despise her?

When she killed her own aunt, it was not for any great cause. It was simply so that she'll be able to protect her own child and avenge her husband's death.

She already knew and accepted that she was irredeemable. However, her daughter was innocent, and she deserved the happiness denied to her and Gongxu.

This knowledge and objective of happiness, which would later grow akin to an obsession (and bring about consequences far greater than one could imagine), only persuaded her to make decisions based on whether it would benefit her daughter or not.

Thus, for the matter of Li Shan hitting the servants, she decided that the best action to take was inaction. It's just a little matter compared to the bigger picture where she wanted to earn this child emperor's goodwill for the sake of her own.

With this, Empress dowager Ruyi finally turned to face the young Emperor Li Shan. She gave him a small smile before casually asking, "Has Huang di slept well?"

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TBC