6 Chapter 6: Rendezvous

After such events, I had spent the few days inside my room.

It's not like I was ordered to do so. I, myself just wanted to think for a bit, about my past as Hakuya Soraki and about the girl, at that dark place. 

However, I couldn't remember anything, at all. 

If I were to explain it, it feels like you dived onto a deep sea thinking that it would be pretty, deep down there. But you just float back unable to see what you want to.

That's exactly how it feels like.

Whether it is about remembering my own past or remembering the mysterious girl, I just float back.

The only thing I could remember about my past is the fact that my parents abandoned me, when I was 7.

About the girl… Well, I don't even know her physical appearance, just her voice. So, it is hard to be confident on who she is and what my relationship with her.

A big sigh left my mouth and I ruffled my hair strongly, as I shouted, "Ngh..! Grahhh!"

Staying here at my room trying to figure out this mystery won't take me anywhere. Maybe I should get some air outside.

Like that, I went out of my room.

My feet dragged me to the usual courtyard that I stay at, whenever I am lost with neverending thoughts.

I mumbled, "Connor is not here, huh..?" as I looked around from the open corridor that leaded to the courtyard.

My eyes stopped at a tree and I gasped, for there was a girl with magenta hair color that I don't know of.

Is she a friend of Altheia?

Lately, I had heard from the maids that Altheia has a friend, who is the same age as her, visiting the Emerald Palace, ever since I fainted.

"Who are you..?" I asked, as I came near her. 

She looked up at me, and slowly became a bit surprised. "Theia, why are you wearing boy's clothes?" she asked back.

Dots passed by us.

Did she just mistake me for Theia? I do look like her a lot, but it is the first time I saw someone mistook me like this.

"I am not Theia, miss. I am her little brother, Edward Finn von Collins" I politely introduced myself to her.

She looked at me with a dumbfounded face, as she mumbled, "Brother..?" 

Well, she called her Theia, so I guess she really is the friend of my sister that everyone is talking about.

So, she has some friends. I've always thought of Theia as a loner, due to her always irritated attitude towards me.

"Well, I guess her irritation is only directed to me…" I mumbled and the girl looked at me with a confused face. "It's nothing" I shook my head.

Silence filled our surroundings again. 

I broke it off with a question, "Can I ask your name?" that I politely asked. "I am Princess Altheia's friend" she answered.

"Uhm…" I mumbled, "Your name?"

The magenta haired girl gasped, "Ah!" and stood up. "I am Alicia Claes" she introduced, as she held her hand out to me. 

I grabbed Alicia's hand, "Nice to meet you, your highness" and she smiled.

Alicia Claes. 

Hmm…Claes..? If I am right, Claes is the family name of the Commander of Knights, Theodore Claes.

In the Doghanik Empire, there are three figures that stand on the top. First is of course, the Emperor, my father.

Second is the Bishop and the last is the Commander of Knights.

The Emperor reigns over the whole Empire, while the Bishop reigns over the Cathedral. And the Commander of Knights reigns over the Capital and the Empire knights.

Alicia tilted her head to the side and called me, "Your highness..?" 

Then, I noticed that I was still holding on to her hand, so I quickly let go of it and bowed with an apologize.

It's quite a deep topic, so I'll leave the other details later.

Now, now. 

Is this girl the daughter of Theodore Claes, himself? Or is she the daughter of the Commander's little brother, Graham Claes?

Graham Claes, he is my father's personal knight and Sir Theodore's little brother. I do know him, but I haven't seen him yet.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and someone said, "I finally managed to find you, Ed!" I jolted and quickly turned, and Seria was behind me.

"What is it, Seria?" I asked, with a surprised face. "Your father is looking for you" she stated, while panting. 

Father..? 

Seria looked at Alicia and approached her. "You are Sir Graham's niece, right?" she crouched to be on par with the girl's height. 

"Yes, I am" Alicia nodded, with an elegant bow.  "I am waiting for Theia…I mean, Princess Altheia here. She left a few minutes ago, saying she had a book that she wants to show me" 

A familiar voice called, "Alicia!" with her name called the magenta haired girl's face widened with joy. 

Light blonde hair and the jewel blue eyes, which is the signature of the Collins. She is my older sister, Altheia Marie von Collins.

This if the first time in a while that I saw her smile like that.

Although, even though I am admiring it, Theia's smile soon turned into a frown, as she noticed me. 

"What are you doing here, Ed?" she asked, with a slight glare.

It is quite good to be blunt and honest. But… Can you stop showing your negative emotions out so honestly?

I sighed. 

"On my way to catch air, I was walking around and found Miss Alicia here. So, I talked with her for a bit" I explained, calmly. "Is that so?" my sister mumbled.

I smiled, "Yep!" before I looked at Seria and grabbed her hand.

  "Let's go. It seems that Theia has come to accompany Miss Alicia" I told Seria. "Ah yeah…" she mumbled.

I waved to my sister and her friend, "I look forward with seeing you again, Alicia" as I pulled Seria with me.

At times like this, a brave person must escape before things turn worse.

…

"What's wrong, Ed?" Seria asked, and I gasped. "Nothing, just thinking what it is about…" I mumbled, as I changed back my face to a stern one.

Seria remained silent while looking at me, before turning away with a smile.

  "Sometimes, you scare me a lot, you know" I mumbled and she tilted her head to the side, and spoke, "Do I?" with a smile.

Really, why do most of the people here have scary and somewhat creepy smiles.

When we were about to reach Father's office, there were 7 Glamorous statues that stood at both sides, to the way to the office. 

A man with a normal sword, a man with a sword that is neither thick or thin, a woman with a thin sword that has no hilt and has the handle covered with cloth, a woman with a rapier, a woman with a long spear, a man with a javelin, and a man with a lance.

For some reason, I felt a bit nostalgic about it. Even though, it is surely my first time seeing them. 

I sighed again. 

Really, I'm not sure if I can even trust my memories anymore. Well, no point worrying about that, now.

Seria knocked at the door.

"Your imperial majesty, It is me, Seria. I have brought his highness, Prince Edward along with me" 

Father answered, "Come in!" with a very large voice. 

The door to the Emperor's office was slowly opened by Seria, as I unconsciously gulped and mumbled, "Behind this door is the Emperor…" beneath my breath. 

As we came in, Father was found at his desk checking some documents, on his desk that were filled with more documents.

Somehow, a thought came flowing from my mind. "How will it look, if all of those documents were blown by wind? Will it somehow look fabulous?" 

I shook my head a bit aggressively and told myself, "I shouldn't think like this, it's like I am wishing something bad"

Well, I am…

"You can leave us, Seria…" Father put down his pen and stood up, whilst having his son look at him with jaw down the ground, thanks to his statement.

Seria bit her lower lip to prevent herself from laughing out loud, and put on the stern mask she always wear around others. "Understood, your majesty" she bowed. 

Eh, you're just going to nod and leave me alone here?! Laugh at least, hey!

I quickly turned to look at Seria who was leaving the room. "Don't leave me!" I nearly said it out aloud, but ended with a slight gasp. 

As I turned to look at Father, I sighed slightly. 

It was quiet. Really, I'm gonna blame Seria for leaving, later. I'll go tell her to Mom and have her be scolded!

Sheesh…

"Ed…" father mumbled, and I slowly looked at him. "I can call you that, right?" he asked, with a slight flush seen from his face. 

I tilted my head to the side, before nodding at him, "Of course..?" with confusion written on my face.

Silence filled the room again.

What's with this feeling? It is like I am meeting with someone who my parents arranged for me to marry.

I shook my head.

"Are you nervous?" I asked father and he flinched. "W-well, it is kinda my first time talking to you and seeing you this close" he fidgeted.

The only time we have seen each other was a few years ago, when I was still filled with thought about this world and all.

"I was kinda scared, what if you hated me for not being around after 7 years" he whimpered, as he looked down. "Pfft!" I snorted, as I started laughing. 

Father looked at me with a bit dumfounded face.

"Ah, I am sorry for laughing out of a sudden" I wiped my tears down, as I tried to subside my laughs.

I didn't expect him to be like this, because I haven't seen him after that day. Well, I guess he is a kind loving father.

I spoke up, "Frankly saying, I am also scared. Since, I don't know how to interact to you, even now, because it is first for me" 

Right, it is my first time after a while… talking to a father like this, with my heart over my sleeves. 

Father remained silent.

"Introduction…" I mumbled, and Father looked at me. "How about we start with introductions, like how everyone would do when they first meet?" I asked.

He gasped. 

"We should!" he agreed, with a smile that looked so innocent, which made me remember how a kid would smile.

I approached his desk.

"My name is Edward Finn von Collins, nice to meet you" I held out my hand to Father and he remained still and silent for a moment, while looking at my hand. 

The silence around and him looking at my hand is kinda making me nervous.

He stood up from his chair and took my hand, "Nice to meet you, I am Geralt Gilford von Collins" with a gentle smile.

We shook hands, and went back to silent. 

"I'm still nervous" Father mumbled, as he tried to shove the silence away. "Me too" I nodded, as I blushed.

We looked at each other, and giggled.

"I guess we should let time heal the awkwardness for the both of us. After all, we have all the time in the world to enjoy such leisure" he spoke, as he patted my head gently. 

Somehow, I felt happy with his warmth that surrounded me that I almost cried. But, like they say, things don't go the way you want it to. 

As I left Father's office, Seria came running. "E-Ed!" she called out to me, before stopping in front of me, while panting. 

A blue butterfly frolicked around her. Soon, it went off and flew where Seria came from, and disappeared.

Seria uttered, "Your m-mother…" and I gasped.

I was suddenly thrown back to the reality that because of me doubting him, God hated me enough to throw me over to this world, just to reject me.

There wasn't any need for me to be surprise by now, that once again I will be standing in front of despair.

"S-she collapsed..!" 

Huh?

…

I looked at my mother who was lying down the bed, while the tears that I was expecting to fall didn't even bother to just fall even for a bit.

I couldn't comprehend to what the Healer was saying, nor could I get what the heck is happening.

How can God be this cruel to me? 

I thought that I finally found the place that I can be happier at. Yet, once again he stole it from me.

I hate it…I hate everything..! Yet, I hate myself more than anything, for not being able to cry in a situation like this!

The funeral continued as I snuck out of the hall and run over the palace's hill.

Everything won't remain unchanged, that's why someday I'll surely come to hate this place too, so I had been thinking before.

The rain fell down my eyes, as if they were tears.

I didn't know that "that" day has already come this near. I hate it! I hate everything! I hate this place! I hate my life! I hate myself!

I tried to throw all of my wrath to the fire bolt I threw over the tree. As rain fell, it nearly disappeared.

With my magic that absorbs Ether, I pulled it back,. "Devour..!" I shouted, as it turned into particles and entered back inside me.

"Impressive, it's amazing for a kid to use such kind of magic in this age. You're just 7, right?" A red haired young man came, as he clapped his hands.

I glared at him and asked, "Who are you?" as I wiped the rain that fell off to my face.

"Well, you're a boy who just lost his mother, I guess it's normal for you to bear such wrath within your heart" he mumbled to himself, as he came near.

Hearing those words, I glared at him.

He placed his right hand on his chest. "I should introduce myself, I guess" he kneeled down in front of me, and slowly he looked up to me, "Fiore Gunrlink, at your service" with a smile.

"Gunrlink, you say? I haven't heard of such family. Are you from a different continent or something?" I asked, and he stood up.

He shook his head.

"I am from this Empire. My family had already fallen to ruins, leaving me as the sole member and heir. So, it isn't weird that you won't know about it" 

He explained.

I looked away from him and mumbled, "I see…" as I kept on wiping the raindrops off my forehead.

"What is the matter?" he tilted his head to the side. 

I shook my head, "Nothing, I'm just… Fiore, right? You said earlier that it is natural for me to bear this wrath inside of me, right now" 

He nodded.

"Then, why is it… that I cannot feel any sadness or tears flowing from my eyes" I clenched my fists and looked down.

Fiore remained silent as he looked at me.

"Even though, I want to cry. I want to yell! Yet, no matter how sad I feel, the tears… my tears they don't bother to shed" my nose wrinkled, as I continued to grumble.

Fiore looked away from me, before he started. "That is because…" 

…

Who was that guy? Why did he appear out of sudden? I can't understand anything anymore. I guess it's great for me to maintain my sanity like this, after mom died.

I sighed, as I gazed over my room up to its four corners.

"Ed!" Seria suddenly came in my room without permission. "W-What's wrong?" I asked, as I jolted. "Come with me..!" she stated, as she walked with large steps to my bed.

I mumbled, "Huh?" as she grabbed my hand out of a sudden and pulled me out my bed. "Come with me" she spoke up.

"Where are we going? Seria! Seria, Oi!" I tried to loosen her hand off mine, as she pulled me.

I raised my head up to complain to her about how my hand feel thanks to her grip on it, but I suddenly saw the tear streaks from her, which made me stop.

My head fell down and I mumbled to myself, "She's kinda appearing out of nowhere, today…"

…

"We're coming in!" she spoke, as she opened the door. "Ah, brother!" spoke a girl, who looked a lot like Mom.

A girl with short wavy blonde hair and blue jewel eyes was sitting on the canopy bed, with a smile looking straight at me.

"Good morning, Ed" 

The same scene, the same kind of bed, but with Mom came into my mind, as I saw my little sister.

I mumbled, "E-Elicia..?" and my little sister nodded, "Yep! It's me, brother" 

Quickly I run over to her and hugged her tight, as tears came overflowing from my eyes, down to my cheeks.

"Welcome back, Elicia" 

She then hugged me back and patted my head, whilst saying, "I'm back, big brother Ed!" with a kind and gentle voice.

Suddenly, I remembered the words Fiore told me.

"It is not that you don't feel any sadness. It is that because you do feel sad. But at the same time… You are glad, because she doesn't need to suffer anymore. 

Perhaps, you know deep down that it is rude to cry for a person who smiled even though they died. That's why your tears won't fall down, no matter what"

Now that I cried, the tears made me remember Mom's smiling face, as she laid down her extravagant-looking canopy bed.

I couldn't stop it from flowing anymore. Why it is that life is this cruel, yet kind at the same time?

…

After leaving Elicia at her room, due to some checkups, Seria accompanied me to my room. 

"Here is fine, you still have work to do, right? After all, Mom died…" I looked down the ground and she mumbled, "Ed…" 

I looked up at her, as I tried to stop my tears from flowing down. 

"I'm fine… really, I am fine. So don't you worry, Seria" I told her, as I forced a smile. "If you say so…" she turned her back against me. 

Not that long, Seria bit her lip and turned to me, once again. 

"Even though my reason of staying here, Liassa is no longer here, I will be staying here, since you kids are here. So, whenever you feel crying, come to me.

I won't be able to replace Liassa, and I don't have any intention to do so. But, I am confident that I can comfort you well enough, Ed" she hugged me, while patting my head gently. 

Tears came flowing down my eyes.

I suddenly remembered the words Mom told me, back when I was worrying about things and were crying, in front of her.

"Home is not a place but a feeling.

Even if it is the same place, it wouldn't feel like home unless those who makes it feel home isn't there.

You don't need a blood relation to be a family. All you need is to have them make you feel at home.

If those people are willing to stay beside you and care for you, then you are free to call them your family and where they are is your home, Ed". 

Those words… those words Mom used to comfort me with were buried inside me.

Surely, I will never forget her, no matter how many year pass. After all, I don't want to forget that such wonderful person, like her existed.

No matter how many years pass, from now on…