1 Springing Anew

Dear Jesus,

I love Disney Princess movies, my favourite being the story of Beauty and the Beast.

The epic moment, that literally had me in tears, was the point when the spell was broken.

The beast was transformed to the handsome prince and the whole castle lit up. That moment in the movie mirrors my life right now.

I sing along with Rapunzel, but this time to you, Jesus:

And at last I see the Light,

And it's like the fog has lifted,

And at last I see the Light,

And it's like the sky is new,

And it's warm and real and bright,

And the world has somehow shifted

All at once, everything looks different,

Now that I see You.

Got a new journal-diary on my way back home and I can't wait to start this journey with you by my side.

Today is like the greatest day of my life so far. The day I finally let you into my heart and oh, how I wish I'd done this earlier, because now I've found true joy and peace.

God bless Kathlyn. I feel like she's an angel sent from you as a harbinger of this bliss I now enjoy. When she newly came as a transfer student and was placed in my class, I didn't think anything was going to be different. It is now!

A week after she came, the girls felt she was weird cos of the way she always smiles irrespective of the situation. Can you believe she was smiling when we had that horrific, impromptu math test while everyone else was literally in tears?

Kathlyn is also, so-to-say, reserved (that's the polite word). The actual word the girls use to mock her is "anti-social". The translation being that she doesn't participate in the meaningless girl-gossip about crushes, bffs, teachers, fashion-fads, et cetera, and that she is always reading either her school notes or her Bible.

I also initially had that wrong notion that she's odd, but when her seat was transferred next to mine, I got to meet the real her.

She isn't a snob or a religious fanatic; she's rather nice, and genuine, and oooh so beautiful. I'm sure the guys are secretly drooling over her, and would surely have flirted with her if she was the loose kind. Jesus, I must say, you must have created her when you were really happy.

Long story short, she became my seat-mate, and eventually, my human bestie.

Last Friday, she invited me to her church for a programme exclusively for teenage girls—"Daughters of Zion". There, I was convicted by the message that centered on us being purchased by your precious blood. It was as if I was the target of the message and your arrows stuck in me bull's eye. I knew that you were calling out to me knocking at the door of my heart.

The burden on my heart was so strong that my countenance throughout the weekend was heavy cos I was struggling in my heart. I didn't want to admit that I was a wretched sinner—I am a pastor's daughter for crying out loud. Still, I knew that I was exposed under your intense, searching light.

My mom noticed that I was unusually sober throughout the weekend. Seeing that I am her only child and a girl at that, she knows me as well as she knows her song lyrics.

My mom is a pro when it comes to music. She has a degree in music theory and she is the choir director of True Worshipers Choir in our Church—The Redeemer's Love.

She tried probing but I casually told her not to worry that I'd be fine, excusing myself with the flimsy lie that maybe it was one of my hormonal emotions again.

"Radiance, my star," she said as she put a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye when we were cleaning the kitchen on that bright, yet heavy, Saturday morning, "I'll be praying for you."

Words cannot describe the relief I felt when she uttered those words at that moment cos I knew she meant it.

Thank you so much Jesus, for blessing me with wonderful, godly parents. I know it's because of their prayers and the covering I enjoy under them that I have not become a prey in the devil's hand.

Lord, I see your light in them everyday-how they serve you faithfully even in the face of persecution, ridicule and little; how they do all in their possible power to bring me up in the way of the Lord.

They are not swimming in money but they are swimming in your love. They were the first contact I had with you.

The only problem was that I was so blinded by other things that I couldn't see you personally. I was caught up doing stuff to appear religious and 'holy'. Even going to church every week became a mere compulsion and routine. I had a form of godliness but denied the power thereof.

Today was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Kathlyn noticed my mood today in class. Let me do a brief recount of how our conversation went during recess today.

"Hey Radiance, you don't seem really radiant today. What's up?" Kathlyn asked in her usual sing-song voice.

"I'm fine," I replied rather cooly with a sigh.

"Is everything okay?" her voice was laced with concern now. "You don't look so good. I noticed you looked so far away and lost in thought throughout the lesson periods, even in biology class, and I know how much you love that subject," Kathlyn stated.

By then, the class was almost empty as almost everyone rushed out to see the next stunt Mavis, the class' official clown, would perform again.

"I don't know. I feel as if the weight of the world was dumped on my shoulder; as if I am covered in mud and slime and God is looking directly at me. I must tell you, it isn't a pleasant feeling at all. I've been feeling this way ever since I heard that intense message at your church," I ranted on, almost in pain, when I realized that I had to tell someone. Kathlyn seemed like my best option.

She had a knowing smile on her pretty face as she said quietly and simply, "The Holy Spirit's convicting you."

"But I'm a pastor's daughter!" I retorted in confusion.

She laughed softly and now I can almost swear it sounded more like you were laughing at me in amusement. I could have been angry, but the laughter only helped to increase the grip of your mighty hand on my chest. Here I was, feeling like crap and the one person I opened up to was laughing at me.

"You say that as if God is unaware of that fact. He doesn't care about your qualification. He is no respecter of persons. The Bible says 'for all have sinned and have come short of the glory of God'. God is calling you to surrender yourself completely to Him, so respond."

She paused abruptly.

I looked at her bright blue eyes, expecting more.

"I'm guessing you should know what to do—You're a pastor's kid, right?"

Immediately, like I found a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that had been lost, I knew what to do. I could not hesitate any longer. Placing my head on my table, I prayed.

"It's up Jesus. I am tired of running away," I said. Then, I let out bleak chuckle. "You've eventually caught up with me anyway. I surrender to you. I'm sorry for all the sins I have covered up under the pretense of being a pastor's daughter. I'm sorry for masturbation, pride, unforgiveness, being such a naughty girl to my parents. Also for all the sins I have ever committed. Please forgive me. Come be my Lord and friend. I believe in you. Help me to live all my days for you. In your holy name I've prayed. Amen."

Like a shift, I felt the burden being lifted and replaced with an indescribeable peace.

I raised my tear-filled face and turned to face Kathlyn. She was silently praying with her eyes closed—for me, I guessed. I tapped her shoulder. She took one look at me and said with excitement in her voice, "Hello sister! Welcome to the family of God. I'm sure there's a huge celebration going on in heaven and a big blow to the camp of the enemy has just been made. You are now officially born again."

Still wondering how on earth she knew that happened (I'm guessing it was either so obvious in my countenance or you told her), I replied cheerfully, "Woah! I feel like I'm floating in a cloud right now. The feeling is so wonderful. Is this what I've been missing all this while?"

I was really happy. So joyful was I that I breezed through the rest of the lectures as if they were as sweet as pie and not as boring as they really were.

With a song in my mouth and a bounce to my gait, I walked... no, skipped home.

I passed the bookshop that is on my street. I saw this awesome, leather-bound, pink journal with a sliver cross engraved on the front cover. Intricate, silver, floral design outlined the edges. I felt that pull that said, "It's waiting for you. Go ahead and buy it." I couldn't resist.

My old diary is a huge mess of my frustrations and random absurdities—I won't be using or needing it anymore. This new diary is wholly dedicated to you. I felt writing it in the form of letters to you will be much more special. It's a new dawn. It's a new me-and-you thingy. I can feel an exciting adventure coming straight towards me. My veins are pulsating in anticipation.

Upon reaching home, I met my mom cooking lunch. I told her I loved her and hugged her like my life depended on it. The feeling was mutual cos she hugged me back and whispered into my ears, "You will never be the same. I love you too, my aura."

I know that came from you, Jesus. *winks*

I also gave my dad a peck on his cheek after dinner out of sheer euphoria—something I haven't done since I was eight years old. I hope that doesn't make me a childish baby. Even though the idea of being just that isn't so frightening anymore. *giggles with a super-cute, dimple-evoking smile*. The devotion tonight was so great.

Now I'm in my room, writing to you in my new journal. My eyes are groggy with sleep and my fingers ache, yet my heart is so alive. I feel as if I can keep writing to you till eternity. Jesus, please watch over me tonight and cuddle me to sleep. Please don't let me wake up late. *yawns and stretches as eyes flutter in sleep*.

I love you Jesus. Let this be forever.

Goodnight. Please don't let the nightmare-bugs bite.

★★★★★

A/N: Oh hi there! *Gives a cutie smile*

Thanks for stopping by and checking out the first chapter of my book. It means a lot to me that you actually found this story among million of webnovels out there.

If you loved it, kindly add it to your library to get notified of the updates and leave a hearty comment down below ❤️

I'm so excited for Radiance's journey.

If you're a fan of Disney and Barbie stuff as much as Radiance, can I hear your voice?

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