1 The begging of the end

It was an ordinary day for me when I stepped out of my house, as lonely and depressed as ever, expecting nothing but the usual. Although isn't that how it all happens? With no expectations.

Two years ago I had gone through the worst phase of my life so far, those two years had bought happiness and missery to my life, it was like drugs, I had all the desire to get out of it, but it had something that bought me joy and pleasure, so I was simply trapped in that toxic world. But one night, all of it vanished like it never existed and I can't tell you how much I wish I could forget about it all and not have to pretend like that never happened to me.

There is something special about having a crush, those butterflies and giggles, the reason to get up from bed in the morning and go to school, and that sudden rush of happiness when you think of them. But there is also pain, if the innocent, one sided love lasts too long, the pain will have to come at some point, and that's the worst love can offer.

He cought my eye, a senior who reminded me of someone, someone I didn't remember, he was 3 years elder than me and probably never knew of my existence, but I did, and that's all it takes.

I found myself looking for him in the narrow and crowded hallways every time the bell rang and we had to switch classrooms, sometimes, when I noticed his class somewhere, I would instantly look for him, I would turn when I heard someone calling for his name, as if it were me and soon after, he was all my mind could think of, only Sakudo.

I felt happy, in a long time I had a reason to go to school, just looking at him would bring joy to my eyes. It took me a while to understand that I liked him, but I realized it after all.

I am that anxious and depressed kid who always over thinks and therefore, cannot socialize, especially with their crush, but of course, I needed a plan since he would be graduating in a year and until and unless I managed to make him my friend, there would be no way I would ever see him again. But again, I was kinda hoping I would get over him soon, and I wish I knew how wrong I was.