11 The story of 16
"Liam's story is interesting huh?" Claire said while smiling
"He's childhood isn't great. It's like a tragic drama."
"Leah, everyone's life is different. You can't judge people based on their stories. You never been there."
" I know, Shaun. It's just I can't even imagine how he grew up in that environment."
"That's why Liam's life is so realistic."
Shaun is right, everyone is different. We all had a story to tell and we can't just judge people based on the stories we heard because there are stories left untold. Just like how Liam lived his life with all of the struggles and challenges he faced. You can't live a perfect life. No one has a perfect life after all. There are times when you just want to give everything up but there's something in you that keeps on going. Some of us want to end their lives because they think it is the best way to ease the pain but life is a journey and the destination doesn't matter, all that matters is how you go there. I think the ending is not the answer to every question in our hearts. Do you ever think how precious your life is? How do other people wish to live longer but they can't? At some point I tried to end my life. I just got sick and tired doing the same thing over and over again but then I realized I have all the medicine I need, all the care I need and I really had all the things I need to be able to live longer but then why am I doing this thing? That when the reality of life hit me. Happiness is not forever. There are times that things aren't going as planned but just keep on going. It's okay to cry when there's too much in your mind, the clouds rain too when it gets heavy. You don't have to find happiness, be your own happiness. Be positive every single day. No matter how things are going in your life just be positive and at the end of the day you only have yourself.
"What are you thinking again, Leah?" Shaun said while waving his hands in front of my face.
"Nothing. I just think how wonderful our life is."
"What's with that realization?"
"Do you ever wonder how your life will be? Or what will happen in your future?"
"I often think about that and seem like life is so unpredictable."
"Yes it is. I can even imagine what will happen tomorrow."
"Tomorrow will be great, for sure."
"How did you know?"
"I just did. Nothing is for sure in this world you just have to believe."
"Can I interrupt? Leah, could you please continue the story? I have a shift." Claire said and we all laughed.
"Okay, I'll continue."
"Chapter Three: The story of 16"
"Years passed by and nothing changed. Little by little I'm starting to realize the reality. I literally build a world alone. It's hard for a 16 year old to live alone but that's how my life is. I was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis this time and I don't really know what to do. I'm just running in circles. I stopped going to school. I'm locked up in this damn house and soon I'll be living in the hospital. It's not that worse but I need to take care of myself this time. I thought my life will change as the years go by but it's not. My life isn't as easy as I imagine. Everyday I face circumstances that even myself can't face. The battle of the heart and mind is one of the reasons why I hate life. When the mind chose to fight, the heart already gave up. For me it sounds weird but for other people it's magical. They say when you're growing up you'll probably understand the world. But, growing up isn't special. Grown ups are sad. They barely smile or laugh. They're full of problems. When I was a kid I wish to fast forward every single time I had. I want to grow up faster than I could but as time passed by I just realized that it's not fun to grow up. Kids are excited to face another morning of their life while grown ups are stressed from evening until the other day. The magical thing that the kids imagine will be gone when you grow up. As a 16 year old, I already understand the world. My life isn't magical nor happy. It is the one you never wish to have. Everyday I put a mask not literally the one you put in to protect yourself from viruses but the one you'll put to hide everything because the world will never understand how I truly feel. I started wearing it when I was 13 and since that day everything was fake. I can't even put that off in front of my family because they will never ever understand what's behind that mask. No one understands me after all. As I wear that mask no one sees my tears and pain. I have a talent, I can cry while smiling. Then that day came, I tried to put off the mask but as a result no one believed me. They judge me first before knowing the truth. They never understand. Guess who is that? My family. It's so hard to be myself. To be real. To be loved by someone you love since the day you were born in this world. Everyone gets tired. Everyone gives up."
Sometimes I wonder how did Liam overcome everything? How did he face this mess? Now, I believe that there are stories that are left untold and not all happy faces already find their true happiness.
"Why are you crying?"
"I don't know. I just… I can't imagine how Liam fought everything in his life. His story is so sad"
"It's too early to cry, Leah. You didn't even know the ending"
"I know but-"
Before I finish my sentence I'm too shocked to realize who's talking to me.
"Liam!?"
