1 chapter 1

y/n's pov:

-

"y/n, you need to get out of my car, go back to becca's and block me on everything. delete all our photos and just move on"

i listened to these words coming from the boy i loved and felt my heart shatter.

"no, no i don't want to do that sean please, i love you please just stay and talk to me" i blurted out with tears running down my cheeks

"i can't, i'm tired and i need to go, please y/n don't make this worse. just go"

i sit in sean's passenger seat, barely moving, not making a sound.

i feel like my breathing has stopped, has it? 

after what feels like a lifetime, i take a deep breath and speak.

"so after everything that's it? it's over. after two years of trying and trying for you, for us. it's just over?" i say softly, trying to hold back tears.

"things change" he muttered while staring at his steering wheel.

and with that, i took one last look at him.

he wouldn't even look at me.

why wouldn't he look at me?

usually i would beg for him, make him stay, i've done it before and it worked, but he was right.. things changed.

i picked up my phone from the floor of the car and opened the door.

we were arguing for so long i didn't even notice it was raining.

i closed his car door and began slowly walking back to my best friends house, i stopped on the path, just outside and sat down.

i feel like screaming

but i don't, i simply cry.

i looked back at where he had parked,

he was still there.

his car didn't move for 20 odd minutes,

he sat there doing nothing. thinking, maybe?

what's he thinking about?

becca comes out from her house and sits down on the curb next to me,

"are you okay?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.

before i can reply, she quickly mumbles, "stupid question"

"i'm fine" i smile at her. i don't like worrying her, i feel guilty when i do.

"no you're not, what happened? what did he say exactly?" she asked.

"the usual at first, then he told me to get out of the car and block him on everything. i don't actually have to do that do i? it's going to be fine between us anyway. it always is so honestly i'm not that worried" i reply, trying to sound enthusiastic, but my mood fails me.

"if you weren't worried you wouldn't be sitting on the ground, in the rain, at 2 a.m, crying your eyes out" she responds.

she is always right. that annoys me.

"mhm" i groan.

i look back and his car is gone.

he's gone.

great, what do i do now?

~~~~

the next day

~~~~

oh my fucking god

i wake up.

i have never felt worse

"my head is killing me" i moan

becca is on her computer, typing away

"get some painkillers, there's some over there on the chair" she responds, pointing at the chair across the room.

why are they on a chair?

i get out of the warm bed and make my way over to the chair, i pick up the painkillers and walk back to the bed. i sit down, gently tucking my hair behind my ear.

"what are you doing?"  i ask tiredly,

i still haven't fully woken up.

"i am booking us flights" she says nonchalantly.

"what!?" i exclaim

"i said i'm booking us flights" she says again, equally as nonchalant as before.

"i fucking heard you, why is what i want to know" i laugh, trying to contain my shock and utter confusion.

"we are going on a break. we need to get away from here for a while, especially you" she replies, once again, knowing she was right.

i shift awkwardly in the bed

"uhh i don't know, i'm not in the best state of mind to go on holiday becks.. and we just got done with college so we have-"

i'm cut off by becca shushing me.

"nope, no, stop, no talking about college. out of the both of us i was more stressed about college, classes and all that shit and who told me to loosen up? hm?"

she asked bluntly.

"i did.." i mumble

"yes exactly, you did, so we're going. plus you genuinely need to get out of this place, you don't want to run into-"

i cut her off this time.

"okay okay, yeah we can go. so mr worldwide, where are you taking me?" i say, light sarcasm in my tone.

"London" she responds

"London? seriously...London of all places? that's so stupid"

"how is that stupid" she shouts playfully

"because! we could go to Spain! or France or Italy! get some sun and actually have a holiday. why London?"

"because London is all i can afford right now y/n" she replies while smiling widely.

"of course" i chuckle "fine. London it is."

"yessss!" becca exclaims.

she tackles me on the bed and we laugh in unison.

well, i'm going to London i suppose