14 Reminiscence

Not even an hour after Dana and Rebecca had arrived at the hideout, the remaining three members of their group entered into the cellar. Rebecca reached for the gun on the table when she heard the door squeak, but quickly relaxed when she heard Shaun's voice. He held the door for Lucy and Desmond, who looked even more pale than he'd done back at the restaurant. He was mumbling something incoherent and Becca frowned when he practically collapsed on the mattress he'd been assigned. Lucy made haste to feel his forehead for any fever and check his pulse. There was a deep crease between her eyebrows.

"How is he?" Rebecca asked as she crouched down beside her friend, putting a hand on Desmond's forehead as well. He was either fast asleep or passed out already, and his breathing had picked up. He was a little warm, but not feverish. Rebecca didn't know as much about this stuff as Lucy did, but she hoped he'd be okay. Hell, they'd just lost Alex. They couldn't lose Desmond too. She wouldn't be able to take that hit. Not now.

"Worse" Lucy responded. Their eyes met briefly before Lucy's blue ones looked over toward Dana. "How is she?". It was a genuine question. If not for the state of things, Rebecca would've smiled over seeing her friend start to get through the suspicions.

"Broken"

It was the only appropriate word for Dana's condition. Once they got back, she had taken a spot on their mattress and was hugging her knees while the tears slowly streamed from her eyes. Rebecca honestly didn't think the girl could reach such a low point. Ever since they met yesterday, she'd always kept her spirits up. Even after Alex's sudden outburst, she still remained positive. To see her now... It hurt.

Rebecca sighed heavily while walking around her desk and some other equipment to reach the other mattress and sat down gently beside her friend. She dared putting an arm around her, and Dana leaned into her. It became somewhat of an awkward side-hug, but neither of them particularly cared. They both needed comfort, awkward or not.

"He was my brother" Dana silently croaked. She managed to get the attention of all the people currently residing in the room, except for Desmond of course. He was passed out flat and probably wouldn't wake up again for at least a few hours. Rebecca listened intently to what Dana had to tell. It was the least she could do, and possibly the only thing she could do.

"He made it his job to worry about me when I was only a few months old. Our mother was a drunk, and I think she physically abused him when we were kids". She paused for a moment, gathering some strength to keep talking. Rebecca silently took note of how the soft light from the oil lamps made her tear-streaked face take on a look of ... close enough to perfection. It also made her eyes look like a tender orange-y blue.

"He was almost always in pain, but he would always deny it, saying he'd be fine and it was nothing. Sometimes he would say that he'd tripped and hurt himself. I never really believed him, but he was my brother. He was my Alex, and I didn't ask more than once. Thinking back, I probably should have confronted him more often. Alex has never been clumsy, and he wasn't back then either".

A faint smile spread on Dana's lips. Rebecca couldn't understand how she managed to smile in the state she was in. She must've been breaking down inside. Then again, the power of memories was strong, and they were possibly the one thing that kept her from losing it right now. As far as Rebecca understood it at least. She might as well be crossing that line as she was speaking.

"Every day when mother got home from an event with her friends, Alex would tell me to go upstairs. I always listened to him blindly when it came to her, never asked any questions. I went to my room, closed the door and hid under the blanket in my bed. When I heard the door slam shut to mother's room, I hurried down the stairs and found Alex in the sofa. To think it took almost five years from the day I started walking to understand what was really happening after I had rushed up those stairs"

Dana was sobbing again now, but that little smile didn't leave her lips. Rebecca held her closer to herself in an attempt to comfort her, and it seemed accepted, if even appreciated. Even during the few pauses, Becca didn't say a word. Even if they hadn't known each other for long, she knew that Dana wasn't one to admit her feelings. The girl would huddle up in a corner by herself rather than admitting that she was feeling left out or neglected. If she was asked about it, she'd also deny it. Maybe this was exactly what she needed. To vent.

"A month before I was supposed to start school, I had told Alex I wanted a dress. The first day of school felt so special to me, and I wanted to be special when the day arrived. If I would've known what he did for me to get that dress, I would never have asked. If I knew, I wouldn't have asked anything from him ever. I would've walked around naked if I so had to"

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~ Flashback ~

It was a cool evening in early September. In just two days, Dana was to have her first day in kindergarten. She'd been overjoyous about this day for over a month, and nothing seemed to be able to stop her from smiling. Not even their constantly enraged mother pushed her down as the time went on. Mostly because their mother never took it out over her, but nevertheless. Dana's smiles made life just a little more worthy of living.

Alex was slumped down in the sofa, watching his six year old sister play with the teddybear he'd given her on her birthday three years prior. She was sitting on the floor, humming silently to herself. She occasionally hugged the bear close while telling it how special it was and how happy she was that she had it. Alex couldn't hold a chuckle as he thought back on the day he'd bought it for her. She heard him and turned to him with a smile that melted his entire soul. She bounced up from where she'd been sitting and aimed for his lap. He helped her up and held an arm around her shoulders.

"You'll walk me to school tomorrowmorrow, right Alex?" she asked cheerfully. He'd taught her a lot during the last year, but there were still some grammar to correct then and now. He didn't blame her though, some terms were a lot harder than others, and it would take some time for her to fully master them.

"It's the day after tomorrow, Dana" he corrected with a soft poke on her nose. She giggled and covered her nose with her teddy, still looking at him expectantly. "And yes, I will". She squealed and squirmed in his lap, then hopped off the sofa to resume playing. Alex himself reached for the book he'd left beside him, intent to continue with the homework he had yet to finish. There was still a lot to catch up on after moving to Las Vegas and changing school in the process. Dana interrupted him halfway through the motion.

"What about my dress?"

It felt like his heart was cut in half. Alex had been reminded about that dress for a month, and it hurt him each time he had to say no. Their mother barely earned any money these days, and what she did bring home, she spent on either booze or cigarettes. Welfare checks was enough to get them food for the day, but not enough to get any extra money to spend.

Just like every other time she'd asked, he smiled sadly and apologized; "No Dana. It's too expensive". And just like every other time he'd said no, she gave her best pout and looked down at the floor while clutching her teddy.

"Okay..." she said quietly and resumed her playing, back turned to him. He rubbed a hand over his face while sighing. He could only take so many pouts before his heart caved. And when it did, it caved badly.

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The following day, Alex took a deep breath in preparation for what he was about to do. It wasn't the first time, but he'd previously only taken small things, and stuff they only absolutely needed. This wasn't such a time, and yet here he were - entering the front door of a shop where Dana had pointed out the dress she so desperately wanted.

He spotted it on the far back, in a rack with several others. He realized he'd never thought about what size would fit Dana, but there wasn't any time to decide on that now. He'd reached the rack. It was now or never. In a single motion, Alex grabbed a hanger with one of the dresses, turned on his heel and ran. The cleric saw him and shouted, but he refused to even think about stopping.

There was a sting of victory when the cleric didn't follow him out through the door, but he celebrated it too early. As he glanced over his shoulder, he saw the cleric rise his arm and- Shit! A gun was pointing right at him. He pushed himself to run faster, but there was no way he would get away now. He heard the gun fire and pain exploded in his shoulder as the bullet zipped past. He stumbled to the ground, but quickly got up on his feet again. He heard the cleric swear behind him as he rounded a corner. His shoulder throbbed as he pressed a hand to the wound, but a short laugh still pressed past his lips. While that hadn't been the closest he'd been to getting caught, it had most definitely been the most dangerous situation since he first resorted to stealing.

After Dana had stubbornly insisted that she take care of Alex and had set the wound with gauze just a little too loose, he announced he'd gotten her a surprise. He'd thrown the dress into the coat closet when she went to get what medical supplies they had after realizing he was bleeding. Thankfully, she hadn't noticed it before then. It was meant to be a surprise, and there was no point to announce it as such if she'd already seen it.

Her face shone up and she practically bounced in excitement as she followed Alex to the entrance hall to pick up the dress. "Something to wear on your first day of school" he said, pulling it out of the closet and holding it up for her to see. It was a skirt-dress with white top and black skirt with pink polka dots - a light pink ribbon separating the two colors. With it came an equally pink bow to tie into the hair.

The overjoyed expression on Dana's face upon seeing that dress was the one thing that made everything worth it in the end. The only thing that could make Alex happy anymore.

~ End of flashback ~

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Rebecca had started to softly rock Dana where they were sitting on their mattress on the floor of the dusky cellar room. After hearing that story, she was now ready to cry herself. Not only because she felt for her friend, but also because Dana didn't seem to have any tears left to shed. Or maybe she simply didn't want to cry anymore - didn't want to show such weakness. But Rebecca knew there was no way to hold back on this. If Dana didn't want to let go of the grief, she'd do it for her. She was worthy of at least that.

"He did so much for me" Dana whispered hoarsely. Rebecca could tell she was tired. "He did so much, and I gave nothing back..."

Once again, Becca felt her heart ache upon hearing the other ravenhead speak. She who always was so happy and positive had over just a couple of minutes transformed into a broken, empty shell. It was like she had become a totally different person. Rebecca hated it. They hadn't known each other for long, but they'd clicked the moment they shook hands. It was love at first sight, as some smart person once said.

Dana had soon fallen asleep in Rebecca's arms. She carefully put her down on the mattress and pulled the duvet over her. She might've been exhausted and needed sleep, but that didn't change the fact that there was other things that needed to be done.

"We still need to get groceries" she said when she was within earshot of both Lucy and Shaun. They both had been quiet during Dana's story, doing whatever they were doing at their laptops. They looked up at her when she spoke however, Shaun trying to discreetly wipe a tear from his eye, unsuccessfully.

"I'll come with you" Lucy offered as she stood up. "We shouldn't be alone out there, and especially not right now"

Whatever that had meant, Rebecca didn't inquire about it further, but she held her hand up and shook her head slowly. "You don't have to, Lucy"

Shaun quickly chimed in; "Rebecca-"

"Please, Shaun" she pleaded, breaking off what compelling argument he was about to say. She didn't want them with her right now. It wasn't a long way to the store, and now that she knew she was wanted by more than the templars, she'd be more careful and on her guard. Lucy was still hesitant.

"Take a gun with you, just in case" Shaun said, defeated. Lucy sighed and nodded, admitting to the defeat as well.

"Don't get caught again, alright" she warned, pausing while Rebecca picked the gun from the table before continuing; "We won't be able to save you as fast as he did"

That did strike a chord, but she didn't say anything about it. The look she got from Shaun made her gut wrench. It wasn't she that had lost someone today. They should be pitying Dana, not her. Alright, she was sort of in a state of grief, but Dana was broken. She was the only one with a right to get pitied.

Without another word, Rebecca left the building.