17 Aftermath

The night was calm, a soft breeze bringing the smell of water from the west, rinsing away some of the heavy, dead air. Stars were littering the sky, not a cloud to be seen. Far away was the sound of screaming and chaos, but it sort of fitted into the picture. In short, it was sort of beautiful. Peaceful and quiet.

Alex didn't see it. He was sitting on the edge of the roof with his eyes on the horizon, but his thoughts were somewhere else entirely. He was thinking about the recent events he'd been through during the past 40 hours. Dana's outburst, his own rage, the hundreds upon hundreds of stolen memories. The very few words he'd shared with the green-eyed marine. The restlessness. He figured it should've freaked him, but as of now he didn't feel a thing. He just knew it had happened - accepted it. He'd given in... Became a zombie, as Rebecca had put it.

He didn't remember much before his episode, and not a lot during it either. He just knew there had been a clean rage scorching through him, and that he'd silenced the bloodlust. It was strange to think about it in such a way, but it was nevertheless true. There had been an urge to kill. Not hunger, not revenge, just kill. Drop as many bodies as possible within a limit of three minutes. Hundreds.

Footsteps was what brought Alex out of his thoughts. In the stairway, then the door opened and closed. They paused for a moment before walking closer to him. From the sound, he knew they were human. An infected would've dragged its feet, growled and had trouble with getting through the door. On later thought, it was quite easy to figure out who it was. No one else would come all the way up here to look for him - to see that he was okay. He probably wasn't, but frankly, he didn't know what 'okay' meant anymore. It was a term that was becoming more and more foreign to him.

"There you are" Rebecca mumbled as she sat down beside him. He gave a grunt for response, but kept his eyes on the horizon. He didn't need to look at her to know that she was inspecting him. He could feel her gaze checking him out from top to toe. She practically oozed with that strange smell again. No, it was more of a sensation rather than a smell. Pheromones? Were those even noticeable? He knew dogs could sense them, but him? How-

"So... You saved me. Again" she said with a chuckle. Indeed he did. This time had been too close though. He still wasn't sure how he'd been able to get to her in time, but the best way to explain it to the others would probably be an adrenaline rush. He'd heard of those when blending into the crowds close to military bases. It was apparently a thing when someone was close to death or a similar experience. He knew it hadn't been a rush. There hadn't been any boost of heart rate or blood pressure. Did he even have a heart? A live, beating heart... He had his doubts.

Rebecca interrupted his thoughts again. "It's strange to see you without the hood" she said, pulling her legs up to rest her chin on her knees. She turned her head to join him in looking at the horizon, perhaps curious if Alex was glaring at anything in particular.

'It's strange to hear you to talk to me' he wanted to reply, but kept quiet. As bothersome as it was to talk to people, the feeling he got from those ... pheromones ... was strangely soothing. He didn't feel the same anger that constantly seemed to haunt him these days. Her presence was bearable, if not even acceptable. She was... He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. He couldn't find a word for it.

He sighed softly and drove a hand through his hair, pulling his hood up while bringing the hand down again. It felt strange without anything covering his head. He'd been wearing it ever since the morgue, and he somehow doubted he'd been without it before that point. 'Mercer, Alex J.' 'Ex-Blacklight' '...kill team..'

The headache was surprising, to say the least. He knew this already - he'd experienced it before, shortly after getting away from Gentek. But then the question started spinning in his head. Who was Alex? Alexander Mercer? And what did the J stand for? Who had he been? Who was he now? What was he now?

"Dana told me about you" Rebecca mumbled from where she sat huddled up beside him. This time he actually listened - turned his attention to her. Told her what? What was there to tell? Their not-so-fabulous meeting after he'd found out where she was? Or... "About how you mugged a store to get her a dress for her first day at school..."

What..? Did she mean stealing? Had he...? He didn't remember. His memory was completely blank before Gentek, and if he tried to look further back, there was only someone else's memory. Hundreds of them. Screaming and bawling in his head. A dress for Dana... First day at school. Didn't kids start school at like eight? Ten? How much older was he? Think Alex, think. Nine. He was nine years older than her. Definitely nine. He stole from a store at the age of 16? Or was it 17..? It didn't matter. It was a past life - one which he obviously didn't remember. But did he want to remember? Didn't he want to know who he was before losing his memories?

"I'm glad you're here- We both are" she continued, shifting a little in her place to adjust her position. "She really cares about you, and... I care about her... I'm so glad you're not one of those monsters..."

Monster.

It echoed in his head like the scream of a siren. If she only knew how wrong she was. He wasn't human, like she was. She couldn't walk away from a bullet wound like it was nothing - he could. He shouldn't be able to. But if he wasn't human, what was he? Zeus? An alias. A creature without any identity. Without feelings and without purpose. A monster. That's what he was. That's all he was. All he'd ever be-

Alex rubbed his temple while exhaling. He'd have to stop thinking. It didn't matter what they thought. It didn't matter what he thought either, since it would do nothing to stop the facts from being facts. He was here, the virus was still spreading, and he would have to put a stop to it. It was connected to him somehow, even though he still didn't know the details of it. He was able to pick up skills and memories from those he consumed. He'd use that to get closer to the source. Chop off the head of the snake and it would stop spreading the venom it produced.

"Thank you, Alex - again"

He blinked. If she had come all the way up here to thank him, why not start with that? Get it over with so she could go back down to do whatever she did best. Alex knew he wasn't exactly good at reading people, nor understanding them, but he would usually have a hint of what they could be feeling. This time though, he didn't have the slightest idea. Either it was during this moment, caused by the recent events, or Rebecca was just impossible to read. Which she shouldn't be, as she was apparently quite open with her emotions. Not to mention those strange pheromones he'd began sensing from her. Perhaps he was just out of it...

- - - - - LINE BREAK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a few minutes later that Rebecca pushed the door to the cellar open. She held her breath while closing it to make as little sound as possible not to wake the others. After checking over their stuff and making sure everything was in order, she tip-toed over to the mattress she currently shared with Dana. She was snuggled deep into the duvets and fast asleep. Becca couldn't help but smile at the sight. She was clearly feeling better now that she knew Alex was okay. She didn't blame her.

Just as she was getting to snuggling down beside her, Rebecca spotted a blonde Brit sitting in a fold-out chair at one of the desks. His hands were knitted in his lap, legs stretched out in front of him and his head hung back. Soft snores escaped him together with the occasional twitch of his eyebrows. Lucy was sleeping on the second mattress, all snuggled up and not a sound leaving her. Desmond was in a similar position, but had turned to lay on his side sometime when she wasn't looking. Perhaps she should check on him before tucking herself in.

"Sorry Des, but I have to check the bandages" she whispered as she reached up to him. It was almost automatic when her hand found its way to his forehead, pushing away some loose strands of brown hair to feel his temperature. He did seem a little warmer than normal. She'd have to tell Lucy once she would wake up. If she didn't notice it herself first. The bandages didn't look all too bad. They would do until the morning.

With that scratched from the list, Rebecca went back to Dana after throwing a thin blanket over Shaun. He didn't exactly look like he was freezing, but it was rather chilly down here, all things considered. It wasn't surprising, being almost September. In less than two months, snow might start falling from the sky. That would be a sight to see. In the midst of Manhattan, sitting on a rooftop wrapped in a blanket while the snow slowly fell. Maybe in front of a campfire watching the sun set and stars taking its place in the sky. It seemed almost too good to be true.

Dana stirred where she lay when Rebecca pulled at the duvets. She turned slightly and a pair of tired blue eyes squinted to look what had disturbed her sleep. They lightened up a little at the sight of Rebecca. "You've been up all night?" Dana asked while rubbing her eyes and sitting up slightly. She moved to give place for her friend to lay down.

"Not all night" was the response given. Rebecca chuckled while crawling into bed and snuggling up at her friends side. "I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. Alex's fault" she admitted, a secretive smile on her face. Dana cocked an eyebrow at this, but didn't say anything. "He was also up... I found him stargazing on the roof"

"Stargazing?". Now Dana was thoroughly confused. Her brother wouldn't willingly do such a thing, would he?

"Well, no. His eyes looked pretty blank. I think he was thinking"

"More likely". They both giggled softly before huddling deeper under the duvets and closer to each other. The warmth were comforting; calming. A little soothing.

"He's special, your brother" Rebecca mumbled into Dana's hair. It almost made her chuckle.

"Tell me about it" she said, pulling the covers closer.

"When I spoke to him... He seemed stressed about something"

Dana turned over to face Rebecca and scrunched up her eyebrows. "How do you mean?"

"Well..". Rebecca bit her lip, thinking about the right thing to say. He hadn't been exactly 'stressed', more like distracted. As if there was a lot on his mind and he wasn't sure how to deal with it all. Yea, that was more accurate. "I think he has a lot on his mind. He-"

"Giirrrllllssss-..." came the whining yawn from Shaun. They'd apparently disturbed him with their little chatter. He gave them both a look that could kill before squirming in the chair, as if trying to lie down on his side. It didn't go too well and he settled with leaning over the desk, resting his arms and head on it. It didn't look all too comfortable, but he fell asleep quicker than lightning. The ravenheads looked at each other and choked their giggles.

"You're right, Shaun's totally louder" Dana whispered, making Rebecca have to burrow her face into the pillow not to break into laughter.