1 A love confession this early is a bad sign

"Have a seat Mr. Lousfe" It is never a good sign when the teacher calls you to her office and makes you sit down, why is it never about something interesting like Miss Evergreen wanting to share some spicy gossip about my bestfriend or something.

"No thanks, I'd rather have a pen if you really insist." I tried to joke but Ms. Evergreen was having none of it.

"Unamusing as always."

"You just lack appreciation Ms. Evergreen…So why do you call your favorite student to your office? If you want to talk about our class president's obvious fake tan, then you could have just asked."

"I would have you show some respect Mr. Lousfe, I am your teacher."

"Sheesh, 30 years old is too early to be getting hormonal imbalance isn't it?"

"I'm 25, you brat!" And finally she cracks.

"Shall I find you a boyfriend teacher? I hear Lara's uncle is recently widowed."

"Enough, Claus. I called you here today to talk about your answers to the test earlier.

She then showed me a sheet of paper that was obviously a psych eval, perhaps in lieu of the recent suicides in our school recently.

"You answered the question: 'what do you want to be in 5 years', 'disappear'"

"On the directions they said that there were no wrong answers though"

"Stop with your jokes Claus, tell me, is everything alright at home?"

"You misunderstand me. When I said disappear it was not in the literal sense. I want to lose myself in my writing, be only a medium for my passions. I want Claus Lousfe to only exist when he is holding a pen and paper. That is all."

Ms. Evergreen looked at me with eyes that almost seemed like they were pitying me. Why do grown-ups always look at ambition like its some curse? Is it because that they weren't able to achieve it themselves?

"There is nothing wrong with existing beyond your passions Claus, you don't have to feel like your life revolves around your ambitions."

"It's not that Miss Evergreen. I chose to dwell in my mind because it is there that I belong, because I am at my best when I am unhindered by the outside world."

"No man is an island, with a mindset like that you'll go mad you know."

"In love there is always madness, but in madness there is always method."

Miss Evergreen sighed but she looked lackadaisical. If I were to take a guess about what she was thinking I would say it went something in the lines of, "Something is wrong with this boy but at least he doesn't seem suicidal, this school isn't paying me enough to deal with the oddballs too."

"If there is nothing else Miss Evergreen, then I request my leave for I have things to do as well."

"Yes that is all Mr. Lousfe, you have a good afternoon."

"May you enjoy the rest of your day as well Miss Evergreen. Au revoir"

When I left her office, my friend Nathaniel was waiting for me.

"Don't go causing problems for Miss Evergreen dude." He slapped me in the back.

"You should really stop with this obsession with our teacher you know."

"Hey what's a 6 years' gap compared to my love? But that's not the point, you made a weird answer in that psych eval didn't you? Come on man it was obviously a trap."

"Oh, don't worry about it, I explained it anyway. But dude stop hanging around her office like a creep, you being her student is handicap enough, you don't have to make things harder for yourself."

"Daisy likes the attention, I know it! But going back to you, you're probably put in the list of students at risk you now, you just made things harder for yourself too…I wouldn't be surprised if they you're your forced to attend a suicide awareness program."

"Oh god, not another one! Why'd those jumpers' parents try to sue the school anyway…As universities go, this one is no different than the rest."

"My complaint is why every school in the country seem to have no care for their students, I wish every school was sued so they'd at least have some decency to check on their own student's mental health. I knew one of the jumpers you know."

"The way schools show that is with more of those stupid tests you know so it still doesn't help, it's the family's responsibility to be the safety net of their own children anyway, I fail to see why that is the school's problem…So which one did you know? The nursing student?"

"It became the school's responsibility when they became one of the major stressors of students, and no, it was the engineering student I knew, he was an alumnus at my high school, great guy too."

We continued walking out of school debating whether the parents had the right to blame the school and if the programs actually did anything, at the end we agreed that the schools should have done more but that seems unlikely so the results would be the same regardless, it didn't matter how many underpaid teachers had to go overtime as a counselor, or how many of those programs we slept through, at the end of the day, the students at risk still remain at risk as long as they go home to their broken homes, or neglectful parents, or whatever else teenagers worry about these days.

Personally I don't think these issues of any relevance to me, I'm not quite empathetic enough nor is it personal for me like Nate but I do like to get into heated arguments and mainly take the stance of the devil's advocate so this gave way to one of our longest arguments yet with Nate. By the time Nate arrived at his house we had only been halfway through and we decided to postpone it, Nate much more disappointed than me.

"Now then, what shall I do?" I muttered to myself as I walked alone by our sleepy town. I wouldn't say we were a town behind in progression, I only say that this was a sleepy town because it was only ever truly alive at night, despite being a hillside in the middle of nowhere, our town still thrives in tourism and due to the cheap cost of living here, a couple of giants in business based here as well so we weren't quite behind despite being a small provincial place.

That being said, there were places where the bustle of the daily grind didn't quite make its noise and that would be in the part of the town where I and most of the locals actually lived in, what a contrast it was, the bustle of the center of our town and the almost dormant outskirts, in just a 30-minute bus ride one could switch from one world to the other.

While walking aimlessly, I realized that my feet brought me to a tailor's shop, it was an old-fashioned wooden structure with a glass paned window and above a sign written in cursive "Rehardo's Tailors" and below it was written, "since 1936." The owner of the place was a family friend of ours, a well-mannered old man named Richard Rodriguez.

As I opened the door, I heard the characteristic ring of a bell hung above that one often sees in the classic movies and the place despite looking quite antique, and most probably is older than It looks was still air conditioned and over all looked like a remastered shop from the 90s but with a few tweaks to make it seem more modern, no doubt the work of Lara, old man Rodriguez' granddaughter.

"Well if it isn't Claus, how fare thee boy? Have you come perhaps to try some clothing to woo the ladies?"

"Just window shopping sir, well actually the more I come here, the more convinced I am that the only two times I'll ever really be buying here would be before my wedding or at my funeral."

"Nonsense! A gentleman like yourself should at least sport one of my vests any time you go outside."

"While its 31 degrees outside sir? I'll be drenched in sweat before I can even walk back here to talk about the weather."

"Well I just have the thing for that." He then reached down his table and showed me a fedora.

"It seems you'd like to make my funeral arrive sooner sir."

Old man Rodriguez was about to make a snarky remark when the backdoor opened showing a pretty girl with a ponytail wearing a neat blue sundress. She had wide hazel eyes and a cute aquiline nose with perched pink lips.

"Well business is still business after all." The lass came closer to the old man and kissed him in the cheek and proceeded to greet me.

"Hey Lara, wanna walk around the park for a while?"

Lara, the old tailor's grandchild was about to reply when Richard interrupted us with a loud stomp from his cane that made me jump back.

"Young man, is that how ask a lady? Do it properly, I will not have rascals around my granddaughter."

I was a bit ashamed but I was getting used to it. "My apologies sir. May I try again?" The grandfather nodded in a stern motion.

"Mr. Richard Rodriguez, may I ask for your blessing to take your magnificent granddaughter out for a walk?"

The old tailor smiled and nodded. "I shall allow it, but only with my granddaughter's approval."

"Wonderful Miss Lara P. Rodriguez, would you honor me your hand for this afternoon?"

With a court bow, Lara gave a nod and gave me her hand.

"Bring her back before before sundown." Again with his stern glare the grandfather stared me down.

"Uh-yes sir….Y-you have my word."

Lara giggled softly and we walked away the store together.

"Well, your grandpa seems to be terrifying…as usual."

Now, away from her grandfather's watchful eye, Lara made an uncharacteristic laugh, obscure in contrast to her womanly fashion earlier and her manners as we left the store seemed to have shifted completely. Now she walked with leaping strides, laughing - showing all of her pearly white teeth.

"Never gets old huh? Just like your sad attempt at being a gentleman. 'Magnificent, wonderful, august Lara Rodriguez, would you honor me with your hand?'" She copied me with a mocking tone which made me blush not just from her unmannerly air but because of the almost uncanny impressions of me. She had even my slightest shifts copied down and exaggerated comically.

Perhaps it is because of how well she knows me but I know a big part of it is because she really is a fantastic actress, it had been her passion since we were only children playing pretend and with inexhaustible effort mixed with unpolished talent, she made even grown adults cry in one of her school plays.

"…This wasn't worth the embarrassment…" I slouched back dejected and she made a light jab at my shoulder.

"Oh cheer up, I think grandpa actually likes you." She then gave me an ambiguous smile, mixed with her usual playfulness.

"Wow, if that's how your grandpa acts with people he likes, I wonder how he goes with boys he doesn't."

"The poor fool would be lucky to have a single unbroken bone in his body." Almost barbarically, Lara laughed as she walked even faster.

"Hey dummy wrong way."

She stopped and looked at me with condescension in her doe like eyes. "You weren't really going to take me to the park were you?"

"I-uh…" …I was actually really planning on walking with her to the park…

"Hoho, Claus Lousfe, since when did you become a coward? Come on! Let's go to the river!"

"H-hey if I bring you back wet, your grandpa would skin me alive!"

"Best hope I don't get into some accident then." She then ran up hill with a speed that I struggled to even kept up with. One could hardly think how a tailor's daughter would get the needed exercise to outrun me, a fairly healthy young man!

"Youth hasn't failed me yet!" I then ran till my legs started growing numb and suddenly she stopped and fearing I would hit her, I made a turn but my legs couldn't keep up and I fell face flat on the soft, wet sand, by the shorelines of the river.

She laughed merrily and played in the water lifting up her skirt ever so slowly and proceeding to splash me with water. She knew fully well that I couldn't do the same to her because she did not have any spare clothes, nor was she allowed to sully her dress, but luckily for me, I came prepared.

I opened my bag and too out a couple of stuff, including which is a lunchbox with a Spiderman design that I've had and been using since I was in primary school. "You must really like being bullied huh, Claus."

I ignored her and spread out a blanket by the shade of a nearby tree and before she could realize what I was planning I quickly moved towards her and lifted her up. She was fit but she was also thin which didn't make it a struggle for me to carry her and fearing that I would drop her in the river with all her wriggling I threw her to the blanket and the ground made a soft "thump" as she fell on the blanket.

"Oww! That hurts." She then sniveled almost realistically, anyone that didn't know her would have been fooled but I fell for her act one too many times and it was almost annoying to me now.

"Oh please, I feel face-flat on the ground because of you earlier." I then put my things back on my bag but she still didn't let up with her act.

"Take me to the hospital! I'm really hurt, I think I could die." She then made a leaning motion and writhed in pretend pain.

I only ignored her and opened my lunchbox which was full of snacks, sandwiches, and two bottles of juice. Finally she gave up and pushed me away as she made her pick of my food. "You're ruining my diet again!"

"If you ate a little bit more then maybe I won't be able to lift you so easily." I retorted as I took whatever was left in my lunchbox and we sat listening to the birds and the current of the river.

"If you weren't so scared of grandpa maybe you wouldn't need to lift me at all. I mean I get that he looks scary but he's really soft once you get to know him."

"Mr. Rodriguez, soft? Those two words don't seem to fit together." We then laughed it off and continued eating in silence. After being together for so long and meeting each other no less than thrice a week, you do run out of things to talk about eventually, however none of us minded the silence, in fact we became closer through it.

I am an author who express myself through my writing, and she an actress who spoke best when speaking words that were not her own. Ironic it may be, we connoisseurs of the spoken word, treasure silence much more than any other.

When we finished eating we simply laid on the covers, almost dozing off from the afternoon breeze and the birds chirping about. Slowly she turned to me.

"Claus?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." I turned to her now as well and realized we were much closer than I thought. She looked at me intently, I couldn't open my mouth to speak however much I tried. Her head began moving even closer, so close that I could feel her breath, with her hand she tugged at my shirt and I knew not what to do.

Lara, I have been attracted to you since even before I began to appreciate beauty, I would be lying if I said that I never thought about it – desired it even. You had been the muse of my romances, the epitome of true beauty, both in your character and appearance. And yet now that what I had thought impossible had come true and you lay here with me under the sunset, with my chance to have you, I come to realize.... I do not love you.