1 Bad Days

July 19, 2004

Dear Diary,

Mom says I have to stay in my room all day while Uncle Kenny is here. I hate when he comes here, because on these days, I have to stay in my room all alone. My sister, Sam doesn't like to play with me and I end up playing with my dolls...again.

I used to wonder what they did while I'm locked away up here, but today I am going to find out. Mom told me if I come out she'll punish me. Dad doesn't know mom does this, if he did he wouldn't let me come stay with mom anymore. Since their divorce dad has been angry with mom. I didn't see her for a really long time, then dad told me I could stay with mom when she came back. That was a year ago. But now I hate staying at moms when Uncle Kenny is here.

Love,

Adeline

July 20, 2004

Dear Diary,

I chickened out. I started going down the stairs when I heard a loud BANG! I looked down and mom was on the floor, while Uncle Kenny stood over her. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could and locked my door.

Uncle Kenny stood outside pacing for a while then stormed off. After I heard his car drive out, I went back downstairs, and saw my mom on the ground again...but with a needle in her arm. Her eyes were wide open and white. She didn't speak. I sat with her. Then after a while she woke up.

Mom told me to go to bed. I was hungry but she told me to leave. I haven't left my room today except to go to the bathroom.

Love,

Adeline

July 30, 2004

Dear Diary,

I'm scared. Mom and Kenny took us to her friends house. She told me we were going to play with some kids my age (I'm 10 in a half), and I liked playing with those kids. Sam is really good at playing video games and I like watching her best all the boys.

But then mom asked me to come to the kitchen. When I got there, she had a yellow bottle of smelly gas and a long lighter on the table. She said, "wanna see a magic trick?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just shook my head yes, like mom wanted me to say. Her voice sounded weird and her eyes were rolling in their sockets.

Mom then poured the gas on her hand...lit it on fire...then ran around the room screaming. Her hand and arm engulfed in flames. An ambulance came and took mom away. Sam and I watched from the window. A few hours later dad picked us up and told us we wouldn't be seeing mom for a really long time.

Love,

Adeline

December 15, 2004

Dear Diary,

Sorry for the long delay. School has been going well and I've made some really cool friends. I haven't seen mom in a long time. Dad said she's getting help at an institution for the "druggies". Whatever that means.

I don't really have nightmares anymore. Uncle Kenny brings Kiara over sometimes to see us, she's my moms and his daughter, and her sister Tara (moms other daughter). We like to play and laugh, even though Kiara is four and Tara is one.

Uncle Kenny is weird. He always wants me to sit with him and hold me. I don't like him touching me or even being around me. Dad said for me to stay away from him, and I try, but when dad's not around, he always tries to pick me up.

One time grandma found Uncle Kenny and Kiara in the bathroom..I don't know what was happening, but grandma made him leave and she wouldn't let him take my sisters. Grandma is cool like that. Dad says when he was a kid, grandma would always make him listen and be respectful. I like her because she makes my sisters stay with us. They call her grandma too, even though she's only my and Sam's grandma.

Love,

Adeline

March 3, 2005

Dear Diary,

Mom is back. Uncle Kenny is too. Dad told mom she can't see us anymore until the loser leaves and she gets her life together. Mom went to a big shot lawyer who told dad we have to see her.

Today grandpa picked us up to see mom. I love seeing grandpa too. He takes us to get breakfast every Sunday with the old people in town. They're all nice.

Uncle Kenny and mom were waiting for us at the front door. Mom gave Sam and I a hug, but I didn't really want one. Uncle Kenny tried to, but I ran inside for Hannibal, their cat before he could.

Mom told me they're moving. I'm glad, but she said we'll get to come see them sometimes. I hope dad says no. I love mom. But I hate Uncle Kenny. Sometimes he just weirds me out, and Kiara won't let him hold her anymore.

Love,

Adeline

May 1, 2005

Dear Diary,

Mom and Uncle Kenny had a fight. Their dog Bruno died, and mom was sad. Uncle Kenny hit mom when she yelled at him and this nice man in a uniform came and talked to us. He looked like a police officer, but he said he isn't one.

He asked me what I do, and what I like. We talked about Sam, Kiara, and Tara. He asked about Uncle Kenny and I said I didn't like him. Mom said I shouldn't have said that but dad told me I did the right thing. Mom went away again and Uncle Kenny can't see my sisters anymore.

Dad and I got ice cream today and talked about school. I like reading but hate math. Dad asked me if Uncle Kenny ever touched me...I said he did. Dad got mad and asked me where, I said my arms, legs, and my back. He seemed happier. Kiara and Tara went to live with another family, I asked dad why and he said he couldn't take them and mom wasn't good right now to be a mom.

I hope mom gets better and I can see my sisters soon. Sam doesn't like to talk about her. But I still love mom.

Love,

Adeline