17 EPISODE 17 - The 5 Slice-of-Life Protagonists

May 11, 20XX

8:03 AM

*Kibe is in the classroom*

Thanks, Mieko! Because of you, I have attained my goal of being a Slice-of-Life Protagonist.

Kibe: What a lovely day!

Starting today, I am a Slice-of-Life Protagonist.

*He peers over to the 4th row, 4th column, where Arata sits and notices that he is glaring at him with angry and vengeful eyes*

My turn, weakling.

*He puts on a smug face to Arata*

Arata: WHY YOU LITTLE-

*Kibe puts out his phone and Arata immediately changes his face to a smiling face*

12:05 NN

*Bell rings*

*Ishimoto stands up and approaches Kibe*

Ishimoto: You're with the gang now, right? Follow us to the cafeteria for lunch.

*All five of them meet up at the door and head to the cafeteria*

*All of them sit at a table*

Hara: AND HERE WE WELCOME TO OUR GROUP, THE NEWEST MEMBER... uh... HIS NAME IS...

Why did he pause?

*Hara approaches Kibe*

Hara: Uh... what's your name again?

Kibe: Takayuki Kibe, just call me Kibe.

This simpleton literally forgot my name. But not for long...

Hara: KIBE! WELCOME!

*Silence*

OI, WHAT'S UP WITH THIS AWKWARD ATMOSPHERE? Perhaps, it was my approach yesterday. Well, in order to remove it...

Kibe: AHHHHHHH! SO BORING! Let's just forget everything and start over, 'kay boys? Let's do something fun.

Arata: I don't think I can let you go so easily, because... of what you have.

Kibe: I promise I'll delete all things I have as long as you let me stay in your group.

Deal.

Yoshida: Does that apply to me too?

Kibe: Sure, why not?

Slice-of-Life Protagonists trust each other, it would be best to establish trust between us.

Hara: DON'T FORGET TO

Yoshida: YES! In any case, what fun thing should we do?

Hara: Gee, I dunno. Wait, I THINK I HAVE AN IDEA!

*Hara grabs something from his right*

*It's a bottle of isopropyl alcohol*

Hara: I managed to sneak it in school, but... what if we did a test of manliness, right here, right now?

He has some loose wires in his head.

Kibe: I think you got the wrong kind of alcohol...

Hara: Nah, you're just too chicken to have some.

*He opens it and decides to gulp some*

Kibe: Your grave, moron.

Arata: Don't drink that... Oh well, too late.

Hara: You're just scared.

Yoshida: NO, I'M NOT CHICKEN! I'll participate.

*Arata brings out his phone and begins typing*

What's wrong with these people?

Yoshida's thoughts: Surely Hara can't be that dumb, I'm sure that bottle is just filled with water.

Note: Don't forget children, drink water 8 times a day!!!

*Yoshida grabs the bottle and drinks some all in one go*

Yoshida: Hey, who knew that water tastes like alcohol nowadays.

Ishimoto: ...They're screwed.

*Arata grabs a lighter from his left pocket*

LIGHTER? SERIOUSLY, WHERE DO THEY GET THESE KINDS OF STUFF?

*Arata grabs the bottle, pours some in a glass, and lights it*

*Click*

*The liquid in the bottle lights*

Ah, a reference.

Note: Don't copy this at home, never forget to wear protective equipment when performing experiments.

Yoshida: Arata, are you alright in the head?

Arata's thoughts: I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THAT.

Yoshida: WHY DID YOU LIGHT THE WATER? ARE YOU TELLING ME TO DRINK WATER WITH FLAMES?

Arata: This is alcohol. IT LIT, ALCOHOL IS FLAMMABLE, SO THIS IS ALCOHOL!

Hara: Quiet, Yoshida. I think he intends to drink alcohol with flames. As expected of one of the toughest people in school, you may proceed.

Arata: I'M NOT DRINKING THIS!

Ishimoto: I wanna drink it.

Arata: BE QUIET ISHIMOTO! OF ALL THE TIMES YOU SHOULD BE SPEAKING, WHY NOW?

Kibe: Sure is lively. Well, the symptoms will start soon.

*Arata proceeds to look at his phone*

Ishimoto: Symptoms?

Arata: According to ***.org, the drinking of isopropyl alcohol can lead to slurred speech, stumbling, sedation, vomiting, and many more. But most importantly, it could lead to death.

Kibe: Death? Eh, their fault.

Hara: D-D-Death? *Hiccup*

The symptoms have already started.

Hara: That's funny. I don't remember *hiccup* anyone dying?

Kibe: That's you, dude. Also, where is Yoshida?

Arata: Yoshida? Oh, he's over there barfing in the corner with Ishimoto accompanying him.

*Ishimoto pats Yoshida while barfing*

Arata: DON'T FORGET TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS! So what should we do?

Why do you ask that question as if the answer isn't obvious already?

*Kibe looks at Hara*

*Hara is approaching the lighted glass of alcohol*

Hara: *hiccup* Sh-Shiny!

Kibe: Oh, Hara is heading for the flaming alcohol, should I stop him?

Arata: No, leave him alone. I wanna watch him squeal as his throat burns.

Kibe: Same.

*Both Yoshida and Arata collapse and fall unconscious*

Kibe: Okay, now we should bring them to a hospital.

Ishimoto: Check their pulses.

Arata: Why? I honestly think they're fine.

*Arata checks their wrists and checks their pulses*

*He proceeds to place his index finger in front of their nostrils*

*He puts it back, stands back up, and approaches Kibe and Ishimoto*

Arata: *chuckles* They aren't breathing.

Kibe: *chuckles* You're joking, right?

Arata: *chuckles* Nope.

Kibe: AHAHHAHAHHA!

Arata: AHAHAHHAHAHA!

Kibe: AHAHHAHAHHA!

Arata: AHAHHAHAHH! GET THEM TO AN AMBULANCE NOW! HELP SOMEBODY!

Kibe: HELP!

Ishimoto: ....Help...

*At home*

4:00 PM

And so that was how our afternoon ended. With the help of Okada-sensei, we managed to save them and brought them to the hospital.

*Kibe sighs*

Unfortunately, it's a rule that once one or more of the protagonists in a Slice-of-Life are unavailable, there are no further activities for the rest of the day.

Kibe: Now for my progres-

Wait a minute, nothing happened.

Kibe: Eh?

Eh?

Kibe: EHHHHHHHHHH?

*Nakatani peeking at the door and is crying*

Nakatani: It's ok onii-chan, even if you are crazy, your little sister will still love you.

*At Okada's home*

*She is in her room, filled with scientific gadgets, such as microscopes, glass flasks, gloves, computers and many more*

*She is in front of her computer typing on her keyboard*

Okada: Jeez, those boys bothered my work, and now I keep running into errors.

*Her cellphone rings*

*She looks at it and picks it up*

Okada: Toshiaki-kun, sorry for the delay, I keep running into erro-

Sando: That's what I called you for. It's not an error. There's something wrong.

Okada: So it was true after all? That in recent days, there have been disturbances in the flow of the space-time continuum?

Sando: Keep investigating.

Okada: Got it.

*Phone call ends*

Okada: I wonder what's happening.

END OF EPISODE 17