2 Desert-ed

"Ow, my fricken head feels like some used my cranium to ring a… Wait a minute, haven't I said before? Ah well."

Alfred stood up, staring into the horizon. Taking in the beautiful sight of the seemingly endless sea of dunes. Each individual grain of sand so pure, so white that it looked like the very sand was glowing.

'Huh, this… this is beautiful. I mean it feels like I'm looking at the sun but… wow...'

'Y'know what? I'm just going to sit here and relax for a bit. There's no reason to rush. Too much nonsense has happened already.'

"@+&#-$@&$!!!"

"I'm too tired for this…"

"&-#+$#&_#@&-!!!"

"Alright then, what the heck is that?"

Alfred stands up, albeit reluctantly. Looking towards what he assumed was an alien orgy.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF HECKIN HECK!"

Ducking under the incoming rock he froze the moment he saw his assailants.

'Ah, those would be Neanderthals. They appear to be holding misshapen bone to-OH SWEET HECK!'

Alfred sprints away at the quickest rate he can muster. Moving around to the side of the assailants. This seemed to take them by surprise.

'Huh, that's weird. It seems like they're scared of me...'

Recognizing their hesitation he comes up with a plan.

"I AM THE LORAX! PROTECTOR OF TREES AND NATURE!!!"

"!@*%*&(@)($"

"Ha… hahahahahahahahaha!!!"

Seeing the neanderthals reaction to his nonsensical gibberish Alfred was reduced into hysterics.

"Oh my God that actually worked?"

"@($-$(#($+"

"Nope, they weren't scared. Well, that's sobering."

The group of neanderthals proceeded to charge Alfred. Most of them used all four of their limbs to "gallop" across the small gap between the two separate parties.

"Ah well, I'm fricken done for aren't I…"

"&@+&#+!"

Alfred is held down. Each limb bound tightly by some previously unseen leather band. Every time he looked at one of them they flinched and leaned back. Alfred however, didn't resist one bit.

"There's nothing I can do to you guys. Oh, is that a muzzle? Huh, I could give you a SAND with tha-"

'It appears the people in this world are no fun either huh?'

Wrapped up in so many leather binds he looked like a cocoon Alfred contemplated his current situation. Staring at the ever beautiful dunes behind the leather mask/muzzle.

'All their tools seem to be made of white shells now that I look closely… Maybe there's some sort of awesome shedding turtle in this reality! One that… never mind then, that's definitely a massive insect "skull".'

"8+$)2;+$?$(!"

Six particularly broad neanderthals warily approached the cocoon and picked it up. With three on each side, they then started to lead what seemed like a march.

"(@&+_(#-$"

"(#+:3($+(@"

"(#+_+(#(_("

'Hmm… at least they aren't cannibals.'

"-#!3(($#("

"(@+_($(+#+1"

"+$(2;+8$!$+$"

'We appear to be slowing down huh?'

Air seemed to be forced out of Alfred's lungs as he saw what like behind the crest of the nearest dune. A honeycomb-like pattern of massive stone walls all covered in massive claw marks. This was all shallowly submerged into the ground. While it may have been a terrifying sight on its own, the truly awesome view came from the sheer magnitude of it all. Some of the stone walls were filled with a seemingly reflective stone. These repeated with no specific pattern. However one thing about this building/nest/maze/? was for sure, if you looked towards the horizon you'd see it continue on endlessly.

'Oh sweet mother of flippen heck. I thought the desert was beautiful. I should've COMBED the area before I made any judgments.'

The neanderthals descend the dune to a crudely carved staircase in the side of the nearest comb.

Looking down the staircase you could see a mass of filthy, misshapen, and repugnant neanderthals. While looking identical to the ones that captured Alfred these ones appeared dull, lifeless.

")@-$($;@)$-@)$+"

The ones at the bottom of the stairs made a crescent formation. Alfred's captors moved down the stairs at a surprisingly slow pace compared to how they were moving before.

'Huh, neat.'

"@(+$($@!??"

"!@?$)$(#????"

'Ooh, now they're confused?'

'Maybe now they've realized I'm not who they think I am?'

A figure emerges from an oblong hole in the combs wall. The figure is so highly decorated and covered in bone ornaments that one couldn't tell their gender nor stature.

")#+_+&/#$($!"

"(#+_)$+_)$_($(_!!!"

The figure beckons Alfred's captors. Hoisting him off the ground they march forward, their posture exuding some unfounded elegance. Standing with their shoulders wide and back straight, the neanderthals walk through the gap in the combs wall, sticking closely to the decorated one.

'This is way smoother! I have no idea if this means they're going to kill me or not but at least I'm comfortable.'

His captors moved slowly through the maze.

'Left, Right, Right, Left, straight, Left, and… a prison?'

Looming in front of Alfred's "convoy" was one of those reflective domed combs. It was secured with an unbelievably large wrought iron door. It had a remarkable blue sheen to it.

'Wow, that difference in style… honestly, these people are so tacky it's a-DOOR-able.'

The decorated one gives a generalized gesture towards Alfred and then back to the door.

"-@(&+#&$(#/_"

The neanderthals move forward and lift the iron door off the ground. Rolling it along the track they set it down when about half of the massive door is obstructed from view.

*Bang!!!*

'Huh, they're… Strong. What are they?

Taking off the restraints one by one the neanderthals picked Alfred up. Each of them held him as far away from them as possible. With slow but rhythmic steps the captors brought Alfred one meter into the "prison". Finally releasing his muzzle they bolted for the door which had already started to close.

"Hey, guys?"

'Well, that was certainly interesting…'

*Bang!!!*

Alfred sat there in the eerie silence. The darkness so consuming that it felt like it was creeping into one's eye socket. Still adjusting to the new environment Alfred started to look around.

*Clink.*

"Whoops!"

Kicking a previously unseen wood bug Alfred was startled.

"Oh… It was just a bug. Wait weren't wood bugs only a centimeter wide? Why's this one a foot long?"

Alfred simple stared at the engorged bug. As he moved closer to the bug to get a closer look he was suddenly blinded! Stumbling back he once again was forced to re-focus his eyes on the environment.

"Oh… oh no."

The wood bug had lit up the surrounding area considerably. And it was only at the edge of the bugs Halo of light could they be seen.

A wall of insects and unspeakably deformed beings surrounded Alfred and the bug. Standing as tall as Alfred could see and having more than three times the mouths they were supposed to have in total stood the beings.

")@+$... (@)$-sj"

"Hah! Something like this won't BUG me!"

"(@+$)#/$(... Jsl($)/#"

"I take it back, you're horrifying!"