1 The beginning

The first thing I remember is my grama and my dad. Sometimes it's hard to believe that the past is really my past and I wonder what it would be like to watch it like an outsider watching a stranger live their life. Everything I tend to remember from back then is either too clear to forget or too vague to focus on like a blurry dream that you forget when you wake up. At times it's hard to believe that he ever loved me and yet he showed it in the beginning. My current knowledge about our start or rather my beginning is second hand. Be that as it may there are things I clearly remember. With that said let me tell you my story.

When I was born I was taken by the state and given to a foster home. My mother wasn't fit to be a parent, in the sense that she wasn't stable. Having had two kids before me the state knew she couldn't take care of children. It was the right choice I assure you. It was said that she purged and did drugs while pregnant with me, I was born with spina bifida a condition where the spine has not completely closed up into the back leaving an open hole at the base. And my lower features are at an angle, it's not readily noticeable however. Due to this fact I have a severely sensitive tail bone, meaning sitting directly on it for long periods of time causes immense pain for weeks. When my grama found out I was in a foster home she convinced my father to try to adopt me. Of course he wasn't stable either, no job and living with his mother , correction living off of his mother at 33. Even so he put effort in to prove he could be a capable parent, and his effort paid off the state let him adopt me. It was nice we went places and do things it was a happy time and I loved him dearly like any daughter would without question or doubt as to what kind of person he was. To me he was " my daddy, my big protective teddy bear who would keep me safe". Sadly he was lazy, neglectful even. He would be very unobservant even though he had a child to take care of. After he finally got me it seemed he didn't know how to take care of me. When I did something bad ( at the age of four) he hit me with a wooden backscratcher I believe it was on my leg although I don't remember it happening. Another day he fell asleep watching tv with me squished between him and the chair wide awake. When my grama noticed the mark on me and that he didn't pay much attention she yelled at him. When he got tired of it he moved out with me... alone into an apartment for low income tenants. To this day I love that apartment.

Next episode : When it began