1 How I Am

Just another fucking day of fighting this bastard. When will he ever stop?

Never, he's not a quitter.

"SO?? BACKING DOWN NOW WILL? YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THAT!"

Evin says as laughter follows.

This fight has been going on for 30 actual minutes. I don't want to fight him today, I have a group project to get to. I barely even ate lunch.

"I'm letting you win this one Ev, gotta get to class." I say with a monotone voice, I'm literally tired of this. I won't be surprised if he's a sadist or something.

Unlike him, I forfeit lots. I try leave but then someone threw a can at me. I look around and it's Evin. Where did he even get that? Ugh let's just ignore it. He threw another one. Another, another, another. Why's he following me to class???? Is he actually attending classes right now? It's basically too late to make up for his absence but I guess he'll figure it out? Why am I even concerned.

"EVIN STOP THAT" I'm done.

"HAHAHA YOU FINALLY POPPED! TOOK YOU A WHILE" he's saying that as if he's entertained, maybe he actually is.

"Literally why are you always laughing? You could be Joker's sidekick one day. If you want to attend class, do it normally."

"Okay" he said?

I'm confused. He quiets down while walking to his room. What.

"William! What happened? Another fight with Ev?" Octavia says.

"Yeah we were fighting on the rooftop and he followed me around while throwing cans at me but he somehow went quiet. Then walked off.."

"What?? Did he seriously? Unusual of him, he usually beats you to a pulp" she says.

"Hey sometimes I beat him up too! It's not always his win" I clearly add

"Why do you guys even fight?" Oh yeah.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

"I don't even know! He just started picking on me and I had enough of it and stood up for myself" I finally reach class and said my good bye.

"Bye Via! See you after class" I bid farewell.

"Bye Willyy!!" She ran off to her grade floor. Sometimes I wish we were classmates in the same grade.

"Good afternoon students, I will be discussing about this semester's group project." The teacher starts blabbing off about class.

While I'm taking notes, my seatmate bumped by elbow.

"William, do you have a pen?" It's Sean.

"I don't" .....

"I can see your whole pencil case" why is he so desperate to have my pen, he could literally borrow from anyone else.

"If I give you a pen will you give it back and stop annoying me?" might as well just give him one.

"Yes! I will!" He says.

"Mister Ferion! Pay attention to class and stop talking while I am! And can't you see you're bothering mister Earling?" The teacher finally noticed.

Is she giving him detention?

"Sorry ma'am, I'll quiet down.." he apologized huh

"Detention after school Sean." Ma'am says.

The other students didn't even bother talking about it, the teacher probably scared them off. I just shrug it off and gave a pen to Sean, I mean, he earned it because he risked getting detention.

"Thank you Will." Then he starts writing in his notebook.

I remain quiet for the rest of the class and wait for it to end. It was just a couple minutes left. I was just waiting for the groups to be assigned and I'll be heading off to my next class.

"So that will be it for the group project's explanation. The group assignment will be as the following—"

" Earling, Tieonna, Henicton, Hemston, Serane, and Aterwen. Group 4"

"I will let your group decide your leaders. Discuss with your group for planning. I will be expecting outcomes on November 18. I'll be going now."

The teacher left and I talked to my group mates to discuss.

"Avery! We're group mates with Landon and Vivi right?" I said

"Yep! I'm sure Landon will be the leader this time, he's great on films and photography." I agree with her on this one.

"Fine with me rosey, I'll be the leader then."

"Then Reina for our co-leader then?"

All of us had the same thought I suppose.

"Yes" All of us agreed.

"I'll make a group chat for this project and we'll discuss more from there. But for now, we should get going we have next classes to get to."

"C'mon Mason, Lan! Let's go to Arts, if we don't go right now we might as well be late" I say to the both of them as we go to the same class right after this one.

"Yes daaddd!~" they both make fun of me and had a laugh while running.

We arrive at the arts room but then I suddenly saw Evin. I seriously forgot we had Arts together. He stared at me. Why's he staring at me? I didn't do anything wrong as I remember. He's walking up to me and hands me over something.

It's my pen. It's the one Sean borrowed.

"Here. Sean told me to give it back to you" Oh right...

"Oh" are they friends again?

I thought they both ignored each other for a long time and just left the friendship.

He walked off to his seat and stared blankly to his canvas. I sit with Landon and Mason while waiting for our arts teacher. I thought he wasn't the type to just leave things be. Why'd he just suddenly do that earlier? There's something bothering him I guess? Maybe he's finally going to leave me alone. But that's impossible. It's a good thing but it's too good to be true. I wonder if he won't be bothering /me/ for a while.

"William! William! Mister Earlinggg William!" Landon and Mason were shouting my name.

"Finally!! Sir he's responding again.." what? Was I out for a while?

"Mister William, is there something wrong? You may go to the clinic if you need to." The teacher said.

"Oh no sir I won't bother, I can continue class." I said.

Landon and Mason got back to their seats and paid attention to the teacher.

"Class today you will be making an oil painting of the things that remind you of the person that gives you motivation. For example, you can draw flowers resembling that person's silhouette. You will explain your paintings in front of the classroom and it will be part of your overall grade. Deadline, October 8. Class dismissed"

The teacher is letting us go super early today, I have free time then. I notice that Evin already left. I can hear them coming up to me.

"Hey Will! What were you thinking about back there? You seemed really focused." Mason asked.

"I was thinking about nothing Mason."

Why was I even thinking about that. This is annoying.

"Hmm.. I'm pretty sure it was at least something.. Anyways I'll be going to the cafeteria, Sir let us leave early today soooo.. wanna hang out with me and lan-lan for the mean timeee?" Eh what else would I be doing anyways.

"Sure, Lead the way shining sun" I said.

"Haha! Why am I a shining sun?!" He said. Well wow I'm surprised he doesn't know why.

"With that bright personality how can you not be one Mason??" I say.

"Oh rigghhttt, hey you might be wondering "where's Landon? Isn't he supposed to be with us?" truth is! He literally ran from the art room to the cafeteria because he wanted to eat so badly" He told me as if he were a news announcer.

"What really?? That guy eats a lot yet he still has that figure. Wonder when he'll spill his secrets...." I say jokingly while laughing a bit.

"Oh that's probably because he gets hungry in between classes, I mean grade 12 classes are something alright. But hey at least it's art school. He works out you know. He does it every after school because he gets anxious he might get all fat" Did he just spill Landon's supposed secret?

"Oh so he actually works out!! I got jealous on how he kept that figure even if he eats such large proportions of food every while..." I said

"Was /that/ what you were thinking about in class??" He laughs it off.

"absolutely not. It was really nothing Mason." I clarify.

"Hm. Okay then sir Off-to-space-during-class"

"IT WAS ONE TIME"

Mason runs away and gets near a table.

"Hey hey Landon!!!!!!! Hahaha we arrived!!" He says with the top of his lungs.

"Shhh!! We're almost the only ones here, your voice is echoing through the whole cafeteria..! Sit down and grab what you want, well except that cheesecake." Oh wow cheesecakes huh.

Mason and I sat down and grabbed what we wanted to eat. Then Landon suddenly popped a question.

"Who's gonna be the person behind you guys' paintings?" Wonder who I'll be drawing off of. I shrug the thought off, I'll decide on it when I get home.

"I don't know yet, besides we still have three weeks before the deadline." I said.

"Mason what about you? Who's gonna be the guy?" Landon asked.

"What??? How did you know I was bi?"

Oh my god. Did he really just- Mason I expected more from you..

"What. Mason you're bi??" I'll play along so he can explain.

"Mason what???? Why didn't you tell us?" Landon asked.

"I thought you knew Landon!! You said who's gonna be the guy so I really thought you knew AND BESIDES!!! Aren't I obvious?" Mason explained that messily but an explanation is an explanation I guess.

"Welp I accept you no matter what sexuality you take on and all but this was so sudden" Landon is definitely confused right now.

"Wait hold on, why's William all quiet? Did he know before I did?" I knew before Mason knew himself and I'm proud of that.

"I knew before Mason did" there.

"He kinda suggested the thought that I might've liked both girls and boys since I've been crushing on this one guy recently" Mason says.

"Hmm.. I see, so you guys are best friends best friends. No doubt about that so anyways who's the guy that made our sunshine bi?" Ohoho this is getting good. I wonder if Mason will tell..

"It's a secret Landon!! Hahaha!!" Mason ran off while he grabbed Landon's beloved cheesecake.

"HE TOOK MY CHEESECAKE WILL" He shouted out.

"What am I supposed to do about that?????? I'm not your mom!" I calm him down and talked it out because I'm a very good friend.

Little did we know that thirty minutes had already passed by. It was basically time for the last class for today

"Hey we have 10 minutes left for our last class, shall we get going?" Landon says.

"Yep, let's goooo" I run off with Landon going to our English class.

We ran through the hallways with the beautiful light from the sun and breezy air. The English classroom will forever remain my favorite. It has an open balcony which lets the air and light just pass through. Landon arrives first since I got a little distracted by the pretty view.

When we both entered the classroom, the board in the front said "Go to the theatre with 3 people". I get excited and look over to Landon.

"Look! There'll probably be an acting activity again!!" I say.

"Happy much mister good at acting?"

Landon teases.

"Very! Let's wait for 2 people huh?" Both of us went quiet 'till two girls come over the classroom.

"Reina! Alexis! We have to go to the theatre today! The board said to go with 3 people so..." I'm praying that they get the hint to go with us to the theatre.

"Favorite activity huh, William? Of course we'll go with you." Alexis says while walking off.

"You said that with such a convincing face Will! Hahaha!" She walked off with Lexi.

"C'mon Lan!" I said as I catch up to Reina and Alexis. Landon also follows.

We chit chat on the way to the theatre and notice that a ton of people are gathered by the entrance. We rush to the door and I see Evin and his partner acting out a scene. Everyone seems to be in awe. I enter the room and he seemed to have noticed my presence. His eyes are full with emotion, the actions are sharp. He's pretty good. He glanced at me.

"It's him! He killed your beloved! It was never me." He pointed out to me and the teacher seems to have signaled me to join in. Why'd he have to include me to that mess of a scene?

"And now /you're/ accusing /me/? Very pathetic of you Evin." I act it out.

"William I never thought you would do this, how could you?! I trusted you. I never should have." Celine said.

"Celine, you believe him? You know how he was the one that killed Yelana right? She was your one and only and he took her from you. How can you believe this guy??" I'm starting to like this scene now actually.

Celine looks over to Evin and has anger in her expression.

She slapped him.

"IT'S YOU. THAT'S FINAL. THE WAY YOU TRIED TO CONVINCE ME IS FRUSTRATING. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Celine shouted out with full emotion.

Everyone in the crowd went with their "ooo"s and "wow"s. We continue the scene.

"Alright." Evin said.

He leaves the scene and sits down with the crowd. Everyone was shook that someone as bad as Evin in morals, is actually pretty good at acting. Though, I notice him rubbing his cheek, that slap must've really hurt. Serves him right. I can feel his focus on the still-ongoing scene even with the raging pain in his cheek.

"William. I'm sorry I doubted you. I got carried away by his words." I have an idea.

"And you should've continued doubting me." I act as if I stabbed her with a knife.

"William, I hope you go to hell." Celine said as she lay out on the floor.

Everyone went silent. I suddenly hear claps from the crowd. I thought they hated it.

"What an interesting twist William!" The teacher walked up to us while clapping her hands.

"Evin and Celine get over here and bow to your audience!"

Me, Celine and Evin line up and made a bow.

"The three of you definitely have the potential, keep it up and go with your acting styles. It's very catchy." The teacher gave us praise. We thank her but Evin suddenly—

"Hey William, even if everyone found you good or whatever, you're trash to me." I looked at him with disappointment. Just why.

"Understood." I blankly say and head over to Landon and the others.

I slightly hear a conversation between Celine and Evin. Huh, they'd make a good couple. But because of that jerk's attitude, he doesn't deserve her.

The teacher sat us all down in the theatre seats and gave tips on how to project more effectively. After a long hour, the class finally finishes. Everyone is starting to leave one by one

"Hey Mason! Heading home?" I noticed him along the hallway while getting my bag from the classroom so why not just invite him to go down with me.

"Hey sorry Will, I still have a club activity. Might not go with you today sooo... byee!!" He ran off...again.

"Mister Earling! Hi! I can go down with you" Oh. It's just Avery.

"Hm, for sure. I'll be right back i have to get my bag from the classroom."

"Okay, I'll wait by the door"

I grabbed my bag and went down with Avery. The weather was a bit dulled down by now, not in a bad way but rather in a cool-down type of way. It's not as sunny but it's still bright. You could basically sleep immediately.

"Hey Earling, why do you stare at the sky so much? And when you do, anyone can see the pure love in your eyes, any back story behind that?" She asked. It's a bit funny of her..

"Haha! It's nothing actually, I just like observing it and it became more and more often that basically as you said, anyone could see the pure love in my eyes." Simple right?

"Hmm that's something.. Anyways we're already here so, I'll see you tomorrow then!" Avery said as she walked away.

She stopped and looked back to wave at me, I wave back. After she left I found Octavia asleep on a lunch table.

*sigh* I told her to wait in the car, what's she doing here? It could've rained or something yet she's just— well, there. I walk up to her.

"VIAAA WAKE UP!!" I screamed because why not?? And if you knew how hard to wake this girl up, you'd definitely understand.

Is she..? What, how is she not awake.....

"OCTAVIA JULIA EARLINGG WAKE UP"

Please oh please wake up people are staring at me. Wait, are those giggles??

"PFFFTT HAHAHA!! YOU PROBABLY LOOKED SO DUMB TRYING TO WAKE ME UP!" I stand there in silence.

"Via." ...

"HAHAHAH.....yes?" Yeah.

"Run to the car while you still can." I will leave this girl at school and never pick her up ever again.

"WAIT I WANT TO GO HOMEE,, YOU CAN'T DO THIS" Heck, of course I can.

"OF COURSE I CAN" I ran as fast as I could to the car and started it up, thank the lords she isn't athletic. I drove off until the school's block, I'll let her have her chance. Otherwise dad and mom would kill me if they hear that I left Via at school hahaha.... I'd probably be dead.

"WILLIAM!!!" What the..??

Did she follow me all the way here????

"I roll down the window and I see my lovely, oh so lovely sister <3" This is my daily entertainment and it can never get old, sometimes she pays me back so it's a lose-lose situation but that's just how this works anyways.

"WILLIAM! I'LL TELL MOM ABOUT THIS" Yea no dad's going to back me up on this one...get rekt lil sis

"JUST GET INSIDE" I want to go home already, I wonder what's for dinner..

Anyway, I drive home and the ride to the house was surprisingly quiet as after Via ran all the way to the car, she fell asleep shortly. And me, a good brother, woke her up nicely. I went to the backseat and tried to wake her up.

"Hey Via, we're home. Wake up.." Is she seriously still tired? Guess I'll just have to carry her. As I carry her through the living room my mom curiously asks—

"Oh my, Benedict what happened to your sister?" She says.

"She'll explain later on, I have to get her to her bed. Excuse me mother." I walk upstairs and put Via on her bed. I turn around but then someone tucks on my shirt.

"Thanks bro..." She mumbles as she turned to her side and continued sleeping. Sometimes she's pretty nice anyways. I give her a pat and head off downstairs to talk with mom.

I saw her sat down on the living room sofa with her tea watching the television. She notices me and signals me to go downstairs.

"Mind explaining what happened to Via?" I sat down in the sofa with her and was actually a bit nervous. It's mother after all.

"Long story short, Via chased me down until she got in the car. I was going to go pick her back up but I didn't expect that she was going to run after me" I kept that brief, right?

"What lead her into chasing you down in the first place?" Oh.

"She pulled a joke on me and it escalated from there. Sorry if I bothered you mom." Will I or Will I not pass away.

"Hm. That's reasonable, at least you carried her to her room. How's school?" Oh my? I don't know why she let me go easily but I'm happy enough with this.

"It was really entertaining and we had a class on acting again today, Celine and Evin were with me." I said.

"You should make your acting stand out more. The two of them are one of the best students in your school. Make it stand out, don't overdo it." Criticism. Yay.

"Head to your room, I'll let the maids call you for dinner. Study." How can I argue, let's just go.

I head upstairs not saying a word back. I wonder if I can fall off these stairs. That would be fun. Why do we even have this grand-looking staircase?? We don't even have visitors often. Off to studying we gooo...

As I walk down to my room I notice that the door for our library had opened. I haven't been there for a while. Since I'm going to study anyway, I'll just head over for a quick while. A little peak won't hurt me.

The smell of all the old books fills me with nostalgia. If I'm not wrong, I think they're cleaning this. I walk towards a table and take a seat. The door suddenly made a sound which made me take a look behind me. It was dad, he walked over to where I was and started talking.

"Do you want to grab a book William?"

Huh?

"What do you mean? You'll actually let me bring books to my room?" I've wanted these books ever since I was a little kid, of course I want to.

"Well then, go ahead and pick the books you want"

I start to go deeper into our library. I used to get tutored here when I was still in elementary school since I had to focus on academics first. I remember all the stories they've read to me and enjoying them. But then I encountered an unfamiliar section which seemed to be for fictional books. I didn't know we had these...

As I was strolling through this section and found three interesting looking books. Ahh~ It's been so long since I've read this one. I didn't even know we had this! This book's pretty much about murder and such but it took me through a genre I wasn't familiar as much so it was an okay. A thought popped up in my head and I quickly rush over to the Art section.

"William! It's time for dinner! Hurry over while it's still hot!" Octavia shouted.

It's already time for dinner? I barely picked some books and I was only getting to the best part… I'll ask dad if I can go again later. For now, I'll live off of these three books.

I saw Via waiting for me at the door so I guess she was waiting for me.

"Hey you're still not getting away with almost leaving me at school Will." She said.

"William, you left your sister at school?" Father said.

They said as I was closing the doors then locking it.

"To Via, Okay? What can I do about it? To dad, she made fun of me and we both got mad and started backfiring at each other." We're good I think

"Whatever! Just don't leave me at school again! Seriously, it was so tiring to run after the car." Via whines.

"Nothing I can do about this now, William be nicer to your sister. And since you guys seemed to have figured it out, be good and head over to dinner." Dad said.

The three of us walked until we've reached the dining hall. Mother was already there reading something from her phone.

"Good evening kids, and how'd your sleep go Via? You seemed pretty tired hm?" She said. Yeaaaa tired from being restless

"It's literally William's fault" I feel like she's snitching but I already told mom. Does she think she's doing something..?

"Now I don't want to hear bickering while we're at the dinner table so settle down and take a seat. They're almost serving the dishes." Mother said.

"Sorry Via /j" haha

"You're so annoyingg,, don't talk to me!"

That mess was cut up because of the maids entering the room with the food.

Dinner always seems nice at the house.

As we start eating, silence fills the room. It took a while for all of us to finish. We cleaned up the table and put everything in the trays after we finished eating. It's the least we could do to help around and both our parents insist on helping anyway.

"Now that the cleaning is done, head directly to your rooms and head to sleep. You both have school tomorrow." Dad said.

"Sleep well Will, Via.." Mom adds. Welp, me and Via are used to this so we just follow.

Both of us quietly leave the dining hall and again, we meet the long hallways on the way to our rooms. Her room is the opposite hallway to mine so we usually just say our "goodnight"s riightt here—

"Goodnight Willlllll" Via shouted a bit.

"G'night Viaaaa" I shouted back, duh.

We both face the opposite direction while heading to our rooms. I still have the three books I picked out. Pretty surprised how I was able to sneak this in the dining hall. I'm excited to read the books. Although mom told us to sleep already, it won't hurt me if I read a few pages right? I pass by the library again. Oh when could I possibly go in there again..

The library is three rooms before mine. So fighting the urge to just break in almost always comes to me. Why is it that sometimes these hallways are tiring to walk through.

I finally reach my room. I open the doors and changed clothes. I've been in this school uniform almost all day.

After changing, I flop onto the bed. Siiigghhh,, it was a tiring day. I look at the books I placed on the table.. You know what? I'm too tired to read even a single word actually. Eh I'll read it tomorrow if I have time.

I try to go to sleep but my brain won't let me. What's keeping me up? I don't even know.

It's still eight o'clock so it's not even late yet. I thought I was already sleepy? How did my tiredness just somehow go away as soon as I hit the bed… I'm a bit confused?

Oh wait, I have books to read.

I grabbed one if the books from the table and opened it. It's the story with the thriller genre. This is probably the reason why I pulled that scene from earlier…..that doesn't even matter since its already happened anyway.

I started reading the first page and it's where the villain and the main character meet. They don't know each other yet though, both of them should know each other because of a group assignment. These bunch of police officers are looking for a murderer. A murderer whose acts become untraceable, leaving the victims in random areas. The cases were filed as so many missing person cases were getting submitted having the same descriptions. Actually, no one still knows that the murderer is in their department or group. Later on the study, they start searching for the suspects. As the two of them get more and more collaborated to one another, the villain knew the main character was going to pull his cover right off. They're both good at their jobs really, it's just that the other decided to- rebel.

I love this story so much and I could talk about it non-stop. Although, one time I /did/ talk about it non-stop. It was with a person I currently don't like though. Well, it was nice while it lasted. I'm sad that she's gone from me now.

I think I got a little distracted away from the book. Man, I should know how to let go… Well, anyways, back to the book we go.

As the villain was getting revealed, a police officer had reported a person who'd turn themselves in as the murderer. It was one of the villain's allies. They took the blame. They had suddenly contained proof and witnesses to prove that they are in fact guilty. The case went jumbled once again. The ally and the main character gets to be in an interrogation room for further inspection. It seemed to them that the murderer turning themselves in is fishy. As it was actually the characters first time seeing the suspect, they were surprised to see that it was their sister.

The door suddenly opened and I heard the voice of my dad. I had to quickly fake being asleep.

"William? Asleep already? Well, you better be anyway." What was that?

"You are such a pain to take care of yet your mother still insists on making you graduate in that stupid arts school."

"What do I have against it? Nothing. I'm simply a successful business man whose job pays well to your mother."

What's he talking about? Is he really against my life choices now? I thought that mom's idea wasn't bad so I just went with since I loved the idea if having acting as a career. And just when I thought the relationship between him and mom were decent. I should let Via know tomorrow morning.

"Goodbye you pathetic child, you better be worth the money."

He finally leaves my room. I felt the aura he gave off— full of anger and frustration. How big of a grudge does this old man hold against me and my mother..? Or even my sister at this point.

He ruined my reading session didn't he. Ugh,, I don't want to think about anything he had said right now. This is the first time he's done this. Were all of the nice acts faked then? If so, he should've been in the acting industry with mom. Ahhh I don't know anymore…

I looked at the time— almost 10 o'clock. I should go to sleep. I'll just try my best to not let anything bother me tomorrow.